Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

We had a bit of a rough month in December and I took a little of it out on my blog. I'm sorry if it was a bit dreary for my readers but I fully intend to turn it around in January. After all, it's a new year and alas I shall soon be 28. I don't think that means much but I thought I'd squeeze it in there.
We had a very hard decision to make this month and it felt like everyone we knew got a broken heart out of the deal. The family in Minnesota is broken to lose us, the family in Arkansas is broken to almost have us join them and then have to change our plans and I was broken to miss the opportunity. Jody's heart was broken over the fact that I was hurt and the kids... well, Eden suffered her first grief at the loss of her home in Kasson. We sat in the foyer and cried together at the loss of the place she made so many memories.
And now, we start a new chapter. Life will change in many ways, both good and bad. One thing I have to count as a blessing is the fact that our families love us so much. They work so hard with us to make the distance between us feel like nothing at all. Thank God for cell phones that have unlimited long distance and grandparents that are willing to piece together broken english from my silly toddlers with a persistence that they would never invest in a telemarketer from Pakistan.
We'll be moving within a week and settled within two weeks. I'll post then!
Toodles,
Elizabeth

My first ever ba humbug Christmas

I have this beautiful family. I'm blessed beyond words, and yet... I sit here acknowledging that I am a complete Scrooge this Christmas. I guess there's nothing more to say. I hope the kids remember it fondly in spite of the fact that their parents were completely non-compliant to a memorable Christmas. How do you hold on to the magic year after year, with problem after problem arising? How do you put on a smile for your kids and help them keep track of how many more days it is until Jesus's birthday when you just can't wait for it to be over? Every day I'm trying to make myself pack at least three boxes. I know full well, that I'm nowhere close to being packed and I have four days left. I'm just overwhelmed and can't concentrate on anything... not even my blog. I'm at complete peace now about the move. I have made a final surrender and it feels better. I know that ultimately we will wind up living where God wants us to. I believe he's speaking to Jody even if he doesn't know it. It doesn't feel good to think about my whole family down in Arkansas celebrating Christmas. I haven't been down there with the whole crowd for Christmas in six years... or is it seven? Perhaps next year. Somebody told me it would make me feel better to think that... but it doesn't.

Sanity

Now, I know that sanity is over rated but really... at this point I'd just like to remember what it was like. Jod accepted a job in Arkansas but we didn't know where to live. The job was nice but didn't offer to cover much of the insurance and it was only medical and they couldn't offer to pay for the move. Mom and Dad agreed to help us out so we went down to visit and house shop. Things got a little messed up and we had to rethink how to finance the house. We got a renter for our house and were in the process today of applying for financing and then Jody got a call from a company in Colorado that he applied to in August. They want him. They offered to pay moving expenses, the insurance includes, life, medical, vision and dental. He told them he was on the craziest tight schedule imaginable and they bought him a plane ticket, hotel room and rental car for December 26th. I know I should be so happy at the opportunity but I've been sitting in limbo for months and I just want this to all be over. It's so stressful. How will we get housing? What will we do about our renter moving in on January 1st? I'm so overwhelmed and can't figure out what I should be doing. Half of me thinks I should keep moving forward with the Arkansas thing, in case the Colorado thing isn't feasible and half of me wants to just go get in the bathtub and fill it with steaming water and soak in it until it cools and then fill it back up again and forget the world.
All I know for sure is that Jody is the love of my life. I just want him to be happy. I just want him to have a secure job that he at least halfway enjoys and time with the family. We get so hopeful that the resolution is almost here and then something else blindsides us. I'm at the end of my rope with a perpetual headache, trying not to buy too many groceries in case I'm about to move and having options presented to me ever time I turn around. I guess I do know one other thing for sure, our families love us. They've all smothered us with offers to help in this way or that way, giving us ideas out the wazoo. This morning Jody told me that he doesn't know what to do, we've prayed for God to make our path clear for months and nothing has happened. We just keep muddling along, coming across insurmountable obstacle after obstacle and nothing ever feels quite right. I'm trying not to be inconcievably angry that I let my psyco-analyzing interfere with three trips to Arkansas. I missed my sisters birthday because we had Jody fly down on the wrong weekend, I missed Thanksgiving because he didn't get the job offer in time for us to be sure of looking for a house... and now I'm missing Christmas because we were worried if we waited until Christmas to go down, we wouldn't be able to find a house in time. It's just so frustrating and disappointing. I feel like, I shouldn't have analyzed the situation so much and stuck to original plans. Does that mean I'll regret not moving to Arkansas too??? I am in a vacuum. Beyond that, I know I love living in Colorado and Arkansas but I'll be so mad if I have to move to Colorado after missing so many opportunities to visit my family with the promise before me that I'd be living there pretty soon anyway. I know that no matter where we live, I won't be able to afford to just go visit. Anyway, I'm rambling up a storm.
Please God, make our path clear and straight.

Kaity Kat

Oh my word! Kait just ran up to me and said: "Mom, where da horsey?" I said "What horsey?" Mind you, she drops the s's off of the beginnings of words and often pronounces t's as d's. She said "Da horsey wif da dick."

Ha ha ha! Wish I had that serious expression and those disturbing words on video.

Loper

Who are you? It's killing me. I don't know why but I just HAVE to know who you are.

My brain...

seems to be thinking in a language I don't know. I have this fuzzy feeling around my whole head and can't understand anything that I must be thinking. Or, maybe I'm not thinking at all, but that would just be tragic.
Nick is growing way too fast. He's army crawling and doing the daa daa daa, ya ya ya, ma ma ma. It's adorable.
Eden is reading three and four letter words. It's so exciting!!!
Kaitlyn is growing!!! She really is. Size 2 clothes actually fit her and the 24month ones are too small! (Heavenly Angels sing a glorious AAAAHHHHHH). Nevermind that Eden was a size 3 at her age.
Last week or the week before... I can't remember. Maybe if I were fluent in swahili I would know... we made homemade beads, baked them, painted them and now we finally made them into necklaces today. A true nightmare in the non-crafty mind of Elizabeth. Thank God that one is over.
As far as Jody's job goes, we've heard nothing from anyone. God gave Jody enough sales this past two weeks to get another miraculous paycheck from Waste Treatment Systems. I try not to think past the present because it just gets me down. I was having a really down day today and a song I've known since I was a kid popped into my head and I sang it as loud as I could until it sank in. Here's how it goes: "In all things I will bless you. Your praise will be on my lips. My soul makes it's boast in the Lord. The humble man will hear of You, the afflicted will be glad; and join with me to magnify the Lord. Let us exhalt His name together, forever. I sought the Lord, he heard me and delivered me from my fears. Let us exhalt His name together forever, sing His praises, magnify the Lord. " The part that spoke to me was that He will deliver me from my fears. That's what I really need to be delivered from. I kind of remind myself of the children of Isreal. God has provided amazingly for us and I still worry, fret, fear and get angry that my world isn't still more secure yet. Ah the frail little Elizabeth, grasping at straws to try to control my life when I know very well that it's not in my hands.
Okay, the fuzzies are taking over again. I forgot to mention that Nick must be teething and we don't sleep very well at night right now. As a matter of fact, "we don't sleep" would be more succinct and accurate... If only I understood Chinese, everything would make sense.
Here's a toast to faith, hope and charity. It's Christmas time now so we're switching from wine to Bailey's and coffee... maybe that new kind with caramel. OHHHH and guess what? Hershey's made a new Kiss for their 100 year anniversary. DARK CHOCOLATE truffles!!!! Addiction, oh sweet blissful addiction.

Family

I really just want to unload my whole story and it won't be the least bit interesting. I suppose I should actually have a journal... Oh well.
About four months ago Jody's uncle sat down and told him that the economy was going south and he didn't think he was going to be able to pay Jody's salary much longer. We took the warning seriously. Jody got a second job, we finished the basement bathroom, put the house on the market and Jody started trying to find a new job. Of course I was giving my sister hourly statuses and she mentioned it to a running friend down in Arkansas. Turned out he worked at a Civil Engineering and Surveying company and told her Jody should give him a call. Long story short, Jody decided to go interview. They offered him a job but we had to sell our house. His uncle continued the gloom and doom, so we started selling all of our furniture that we really didn't like or feel like it was worth moving. A ray of hope popped up and Jody found a job opening at the Mayo Clinic in the middle of October. We hoped and waited, hoped and waited... Nothing. The second week of November Jody started calling the company in Arkansas. The principle of the firm was on an extended vacation and they couldn't confirm the now three month old job offer and give him a start date without the okay from the big guy. So, we hoped and waited and hoped and waited. In a short period of time we decided if he got the offer, we would just drop everything and run to Arkansas so he wouldn't miss any paychecks. My parents were happy to buy an investment property for us to live in short term. He'd already been sent two no letters from the Mayo Clinic regarding other openings so it just wasn't a sure thing. We knew his paychecks were very numbered. We switched from a "for sale by owner" status to a real realtor and as expected... the ball dropped. Jody got his last paycheck a week before Thanksgiving. Still we hadn't sold our house. All this time we'd planned a trip to Arkansas over Thanksgiving that might extend into forever. Jody kept emailing Mayo Clinic and calling the Engineering company in Arkansas with nothing panning out. Two days before Thanksgiving I called my sister and told her we weren't going to make it for the big day. It was a sad day.
Today is three days after Thanksgiving. We have no idea what will happen this week if anything. Jody got the word from the compaying in Arkansas that the big guy is back from vacation but that's all. He got an email from Mayo Clinic saying they were going to decide who to call for an interview this week.
So... my prayer is that we will have an answer this week. It's been a long journey. We've stumbled alot. My kids have gotten the short end of my temper. I've had moments of weakness, and a lack of trust in God. Jody has too. Miraculously, we've never stumbled at the same time and we've picked one another up along the way. We've encouraged each other, and exhorted each other. I've learned to hold my tounge a little bit, but not enough. We've called on God for miracles, reminded Him of our faithfulness to Him and praised Him for all He has provided. One thing is for sure, we aren't holding our breaths waiting for the answer anymore. There have been many lessons... The answer isn't always instant, and it isn't always what we want to hear but it will come. We are not the one's to control our future. If we trust The One, He will provide and the journey should be as exciting and educational as the arrival. The biggest and most humbling and amazing lesson has been that our treasures are not of this earth. Our treasure is not in a couch, a table, a lamp or a futon but in God. Not all children get to experience it first hand, but my children have watched me sell half the furniture in my house and remind them, it's just stuff. We have each other and we don't need stuff to be a family.

Stress

I wish stress didn't exist. I wish we lived in utopia. Of course if we lived in utopia, we wouldn't know it or appreciate it unless we had previously known stress, so it's pointless. As a matter of fact, a survivor of the Haulocost would definitely think I live in utopia. should Utopia be capitalized? I don't know. I haven't spent much time reading about it. Forget it.
Eden is five now. She has officially started vying for the computer. She messes with the mouse pad, moves the keyboard around, randomly changes the font size on the computer and rearranges the list of internet favorites.
A few days ago she told me "When we get a new house, I'd like 600 teeter totters in the yard." I gave her a quizzical look and asked why. Her reply was "for all of my friends in my network." Jody and I got a good laugh out of that and I told him that if tv commercials can teach her how to use the word "network" in context, it can't be all bad.
Nick scoots and rolls all over the place. He turned five months a few days ago and is obsessed with paper. He will roll, scoot, strain, and twist as far as necessary to reach it. The really cute thing he does is superman. He lays on his belly and sticks his arms out in front of him while lifting his legs off of the floor and arches his back. He holds the position for a few seconds then goes completely limp and gathers his strength for another go. We call it his exercizes. He's so serious and determined. He also lifts his whole upper body off of the floor and swivels around whichever way he wants to go. Busy is all I can say about the kid.
Kait was so amazing about Eden's birthday. We told her it was Eden's day and she went to every extreme to make it such. She never pouted, tried to take Eden's toys, complained that it wasn't her birthday or anything. She bought Eden a set of play makeup for her birthday and was SO excited and proud to give it to her. I have never seen such a selfless little person. It was beautiful. If only I could say the same about Eden's attitude about her birthday.
Kaitlyn is my buddy. She asks me for so little, never does the same wrong thing twice (except hitting Eden), gives me company for everything I do and keeps up such an entertaining stream of chatter. If I hurt her feelings, I feel so bad and instantly apologize. It's so different from my relationship with Eden and I can't say why. It's like we both try in our relationship or something. With Eden, it's like I always have to do more to make her happy and with Kaitlyn, just being with me makes her happy and likewise.
Baby crying.

I got lost...

No, I didn't. I have no excuse. To the hecklers who have complained about my lack of new material, where is your blog? That's all I want to know.
Jody quit that crummy second job and we tightened our belts another notch. I'd like to say that's literally true. No, I still have an extra seven pounds to show for my latest pregnancy. I actually don't wear belts and don't intend to until I do lose that seven pounds.
This week we cranked up the hair self expiramentation a notch and I went to a cosmetology school for my haircut. Pippin cut my hair and I am SO happy. I'll be honest, it's a soccer mom haircut but oh well. I can wash it, shake it and GO, without it looking like a crows nest. Now all I have to do is go back and have her fix this dang color. The girls got their hair cut too and for Kait it was a first. It was so adorable. They behaved fantastically and Grammy met us there and held Nick the whole time. The grand total for our memorable outing = $13.50.
This weeks theme in school is the solar system. Eden is not into things like Star Wars so we started from scratch. She had a hard time believing me that the sun is bigger than the earth and the moon is smaller but once I convinced her, she was sold. We read books, talked about stars, made stars with the triangular metal insets, discussed the names and sizes of the planets and there's just so much to cover. She's lapping it up. The curriculum dictates that we spend two weeks on it. I thought it was a bit much at first but we're approximately half way there. We purchased a solar system mobile and painted 9 planets today and will assemble the mobile next week. We will also be visiting the planetarium at a local highschool.
Eden stands at the white board writing words all of the time. I, of course dictate the spelling because she doesn't read or spell yet, but I find it interesting how tirelessly she applies herself to this. I never encourage her, and if anything am slightly discouraging because I get distracted by the other kids and lose where we are in a word. What I'm seeing is that she is catching on to the spelling of words. I've heard of kids learning to spell before reading and I guess that maybe she will do that. Not by my plan, but by apparently her learning style. It's interesting. We have a moveable alphabet and she's fascinated by it. She doesn't try to spell things yet, but when I spell things with, it she's very attentive and I can see the wheels turning in her mind.
Today was a major accomplishment in the life of a mother of three. I took ALL of them to Walmart. Call me a saint, call me crazy. I did it. It went FINE. Every time I fear something, it turns out fine. When I think something will be no big deal, he world falls apart. I don't understand how I can always be wrong.
Monday at Spanish Class. When one mom is peppy, we're all peppy. Other times, it's like a monster comes and steals everyones sleep on the same night. We stood in the kitchen cutting out the spanish words for different colors and shapes in a complete fog, without any communication. I kept staring at a word wondering what it could be and finally asked Knelly. She was a Spanish minor in college... she made the words. I figured she'd be the one to ask. Her foggy gaze travelled back and forth across the word and finally she said "oh, it's orange. I just left the "N" off of the beginning." Well, that helped. Then I looked over and Knelly was cutting out heart shapes. I pointed to the container that had foam hearts and asked why she needed them and she gave an answer but I wasn't getting it somehow. Finally Tiffany looked up and said "oh Knelly, I needed the spanish word for "heart" not cutouts." In the background we could all hear babies crying, children chanting spanish songs that I don't understand and the teacher practically shouting her instructions to the children. It was a rough go, but we all muddled our way through. Eden counted to six in spanish without any prompting today.
I feel that this has been a horribly boring blog but at least I did it. I have recorded a week in the life of Elizabeth. For what it's worth.

It's all for you Jod!

I really didn't feel like posting tonight but since I know that you come home and go straight to the computer to find out what you missed... I'm pluggin away.
You missed a doozey. You stopped by at 5 right after Kait made her shirt into a doiley and things spiraled downward until I opened my wine. I'm not kidding people. There's this weird kind of conspiracy amongst the evil fairies. Every time the girls go to Grandma's I miss them SO bad and can't wait to see them and shower them with my love. As it turns out, the first night home is ALWAYS the worst. I don't know why.
Eden went right to work on some projects when she got home. That was great. She stapled and stamped to her hearts content. Kaitlyn got the kid safe scissors. Her original intent was to cut the tags off of Nick's new socks. I didn't keep a close eye. Okay, I'll admit it. I went to the computer to rearrange some stuff in our bank accounts knowing full well that Kait had scissors. I'm a terrible mom. There, I got it off my chest. On the baby monitor I heard Eden groan and say "Ohhhh Kaitlyn... Mom is going to be so mad." This was not a good sign. I charged up the stairs like an angry elephant and there was Kait sticking her finger through a hole in the middle of her shirt. My favorite. From Children's Place with a big rose embroidered on the front. I won't elaborate on my response but it was not nice. Kaitlyn told me she was sorry later and I asked her what she cut the hole for. I will paraphrase her reply "I wanted to cut the hole and put paper in it." Here's a better question, why in the world did I ask a two year old "why?"
After that my mood was rather black. It just happens. I worked my way out of it with a brisk walk around the neighborhood. We got home and had some icecream. Eden crumbled a cupcake (right in front of me) into a million little pieces all over her, all over Nick, all over the counter, all over the floor... I asked her why she didn't use the spoon I gave her... Here's a little tip, there is no freaking point in asking your children why. Any answer they give you will only make you more frustrated. I tried to implement some Montessori stuff. We had a cleanup with all of our equipment. It was so hard to stay close to calm. I guess I was just tired or something because now I don't know why it was so frustrating. About the time we finished up, Kait had a little pee pee accident. I got her half cleaned up and asked her to go downstairs and put on her night time stuff. She broke down and wanted me to go help her. I exploded. I really wish I were a good mom all of the time but I'm just not and I don't know what to say about that. I told her to sit on the couch and wait for me to finish the kitchen cleanup. Finally I took her downstairs and put her jommies on her. She went in the office and got my camera to take pictures. I told her to go get her new camera. It was still in the car and I was nursing Nick (groan). Eden volunteered to get the camera. Kaitlyn followed her. Two minutes later I hear Kaitlyn in the foyer saying "OH NO!" Can I catch a freaking break? I ran up the stairs and there she stood with the container of flour paste I made for the pinata at Spanish class open and all over her, all over the floor... yada yada yada. I wilted. This was after I had poured the wine and taken a cursory sip. Anyway, I peeled her clothes off, tossed them in the laundry, cleaned up the floor got her into new jommies and sank into the recliner. She looked at my wine and said "I want juice." Alright. I went upstairs and got the juice. I got Nick to sleep!!!!! I went downstairs to watch the children play and drink my wine and the dog threw up. At this point I was numb, just going through the motions. The girls and I spent at least ten minutes looking for the carpet cleaner. I still hadn't had more than a taste of my wine. Never found it but they did just happen to wake Nick up in the process. I decided that tepid wine might be better anyway and just having the promise of it was keeping me moving forward. The girls piled stuff in the floor and made a tent. Eden looked up at me with glowing eyes and said "can we sleep in this?" I was such complete pudding that I merely nodded and said "of course, would you like to sleep in that or your real tent?" They voted for the real tent. And there they sleep as I write this finally sipping my wine, halfway wishing it were chammomile tea. I cannot convey how satisfying it was to put them to bed happy, thinking I'm a great mom even though I sometimes wonder myself.

Bittersweet

If I had to summarize my day in a word, that would be it. It was fun, basically uneventful... there was that rather crushing disappointment about the kids table and chairs in the school room but other than that, my day was very good.

We arose at 8AM. I know we're sluggards. We don't like to get up early and we don't have to. Well, nobody except Jody, poor dear.

I made a sumptious breakfast of cream biscuits, eggs and sausage. Eden was crestfallen that I made trianular biscuits instead of circular ones. I promised next time they will be circular. Jody came home and shared it with us. We cleaned up. Nick went down for a nap. We had school. It went so famously I wish it could have lasted two hours longer. Jody came home for lunch. Jody's mom came over to pick up the girls. They trotted off to Chatfield. I had an email wrestling match with a swindler and lost. I really am heartsick about it. Now I'm stuck with a table that I can't afford chairs for. My heart screams for justice! Anyway, I'm going to make myself just sit on it for a few days and then decide what to do. Nick and I spent the majority of the afternoon rolling around on his new quilt that arrived today. It's lovely in the picture but in real life it's spectacular. He is such a lucky little man. He giggled, cooed, tried to inch worm, chewed on it, tried to get the firetrucks and just basically entertained me to no end. Then he cudddled up and nursed on it, uninterruped by blood curdling screams, poo poo disasters, pee pee accidents, water catastrophes, milk spills, mud, hungry sisters, broken toys, doll fights, people stuck halfway into shirts twisted sideways, paint free for alls, escapees that ran out the front door, craigslist customers, telephone calls, the computer, the tv, mommy needing a drink of water, mommy needing to pee or anything. Nothing interrupted the little dear and he nursed until he was replete with little drips of milk on his happy chin. Then we took a bath together with apricot oil and laughed and dipped and cooed. I have to tell you, nothing prepares you for how special such moments are with the third child. They are truely rare and to be treasured. I'm honestly half broken hearted that the little booger is trying to scoot around the house. I barely got to hold my baby and now he wants to go racing around the rooms (I exaggerate). Bittersweet joy taints every step he takes towards growing up. He's the last one and it really hurts. Would it hurt this bad no matter how many babies we had? I really can't be sure. It's a hard door to shut.

Eden and Kait are so cute together. Eden's way with Kait is to offer leading questions that Kait will answer predictably. "Do you want this really pretty pink shirt or just the blue one?" If Kait answers as predicted things go smoothly. If Kait says "the blue one" then Eden says "Are you sure? The pink one is much prettier and it goes with your skirt." If Kait is feeling stubborn and still wants the blue one, Eden offers the last ditch effort. "Okay here's the deal, today you wear the blue one, but tomorrow you wear whatever I want. Deal?" Kait falls for it every time and agrees. I have no idea why, but it is just hysterical. The delights of having a baby monitor in their room.

Today Eden worked on metal insets and sandpaper letters. It was so neat to see how long she can focus on a project. She will work and work without anyone to motivate her. If she sees me do something she thinks is neat, she'll just go to town. I don't have to say a word.
Kait worked on the sandpaper letters and the cylinder blocks. She's very good at reasoning from all of the puzzles she's addicted to and the cylinder block is just an extension of that. She actually did two at one time. That's twenty pieces. I was very impressed.

Short and sweet

Today was long.
Today was hard.
Today had some really funny moments.
Haircolor is a hot topic these days.
Kaitlyn walked by Melvin at Spanish class and brushed his hair with her fingers and said "he's got red head." By the way, she is finally settling in. She participated in part of the class and cried when we had to leave. Yay!
Eden was sitting at the counter this evening and smiling at Nick in his bumbo chair and said "I think Nick is going to get hair like Melvin's." I said "red?" She said "yeah, when he turns his head that way it looks a little red." I said "nah, I think he's a blondie." Kait popped up and said "I have blonde hair." I agreed and made a fond comment about my three little blondies. Eden looked at me and screwed up her face and said "but YOU don't have blonde hair." I agreed and commented that I don't think my hair is any particular color, just a mess. Kaitlyn lifted a lock of it and said " you have darling hair." Melted me like buttah. First time I've ever heard her say darling.
My children are wonderful little people. I am so darn lucky to spend my days with them and I can't even imagine how badly I will miss them all when they leave my comfy little nest. It makes me wonder how people ever really get done having kids sometimes. It's such fun stage of life in so many ways, even if it is harder than heck.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained

This post has nothing to do with the title. It popped into my head and had to be the title.
My weekend has been fraught with arguments with Eden about whether you can "have school" on the weekend. I strongly maintain that no you cannot! Eden even tried the tears on me on Sat. afternoon. I'm impervious. What sane person wouldn't be? It's like opening pandoras box. Once I say yes, I'll be "having school" 24X7.
A few key random funny moments this weekend.
Kaitlyn announced that she is the mommy and I am the sister. We carried this charade throughout most of the weekend. This morning however, she broke out of character to make up an enormous story for the whole family at the breakfast table. We were surrounded with our traditional fare of "dad's homemade pancakes" tea, oj and some kind of breakfast meat. He was super sweet and even put pecans in my pancakes this morn. Anyway, Kait started a story about going to the fair. We randomly fed new words in and she would assimilate them into the story with ease. At one point I casually asked about the horse and she instantly told us all about how the horse getting out of the gate and running away. I asked about the bird and she told me it was the bird who opened the gate and our whole family was riding the horse. I was taken aback and asked if surely there had been two horses and she assured me that no there were not! The solitary horse however, was as big as a camel. So... I guess we all fit just fine. She was in the front with Daddy and Mommy had to ride on the back with Eden. I'm relieved to announce that she didn't just come out and say that Mommy rode bitch... but the implication was there. The story rambled on with so many hilarious details I can't even recount them all. I do remember that she hugged a wonderful little pig and fed a pony though.
I finally mopped the kitchen without interruption. I arranged all of the kitchen chairs and barstools in a circle in the living room and covered them with a sheet. The children didn't have the slightest interest in running into the kitchen and sliding smack on their backs for the first time ever. On the downside, I caught them dragging my purse into their tent with obviously detrimental intentions. You can't have it all I suppose.
We ran out of paper towels in the kitchen today. Big event. I know. Well, I ran downstairs to grab another roll and the computer caught my eye. I decided to make a quick detour. I skirted the exersaucer, jumped over the activity gym, skidded across a puzzle piece and landed in the desk chair. I checked my email, surfed craigslist, checked my ebay auction and then sat there stupefied as to how I had gotten here and why I was downstairs. Suddenly a miracle happened and I actually remembered the paper towels. I re-crossed the sketchy terrain and retrieved the paper towels and took them to the kitchen. This story was just so everyone out there would know, "you can do it." You can be completely distracted and still remember something... if you're really lucky.
We had a fantastic weekend and I hope all of you did too. With Jody working a ton of hours these last few weeks, our time is so precious and we appreciate what we have so much more. It feels like we really try to "live" on the weekends and soak each other up.
Toodles.

I'll never forget

I'll never forget:
the first time I held you
the first time I saw you in your daddy's arms
the curve of your chubby cheek
the baby smell when I bury my face in your neck
the fine detail of each of your ears
the shape of your little dumpling hands
the curl of your long squiggly toes
the metamorphosis of your darling eyelashes
the incongruous mohawk after your baths
the peacefulness of your repose as you sleep
the engaging draw of your smile
the charm of your first giggle
the miracle of the first time you rolled over
because it's written now, and all I have to do is read it and be swept back to the joy indescribable

It's Done!!!!

My dear sister has made a most beautiful quilt for my little Nickster to cuddle in. It's firetrucks of course.

Confessions

I've decided to make some confessions. Maybe if it's out in the air I'll do something about it.

1. I still have two placentas in my freezer.

2. My hair is still peach and hasn't been cut in at least six months. It was cut by a whacko that thought I wanted a wedge when I said I wanted it choppy and layered.

3. I still have no hair dryer or curling iron... I'm verging on looking like a sheepdog.

4. Despite my utter lack of ability to provide my husband with a presentable wife, I have managed to buy a water cooler and water for it. Priorities anyone?

5. I almost clobbered Eden for trying to carry a carton of eggs on her head today.

That's enough for now.

I'm reading the greatest book called "Ready Set Read." Well actually I devoured it in less than 24 hours and am beating myself all up for not teaching Eden the steps of learning to read in the correct order. The most obvious part that I had never considered, she presented so simply.

" Would it suprise you to know that the child who knows all twenty-six letters by name is really no closer to reading than the one who knows none at all? Once you've seen how the phonetic approach to reading works, you'll understand completely.
Knowing the names of letters does not facilitate reading at all; it may even make it more difficult. A child can look at a word and say "dee - oh - gee" from breakfast to dinner never have a clue that those letters spell the word dog. However, if he has learned the phonetic sounds for those letters instead of their names, he will string the sounds together easily to for a word with which he is familiar."

I've been banging my head against a wall for a couple of months realizing that I hadn't put enough emphasis on letter sounds over names but this took the cake. The idea of presenting the sounds before the letter names is genius. Eden's known the capital alphabet since she was two. She's known the lower case alphabet for almost a year since a teacher pointed out to me that kids use way more lower case letters than capital. Now I realize I could have put my energy to so much better use.
Whatever, I've called Eden the guinea pig all along. That's just what happens to first children. We can't stand to take advice from other people and we don't know which books to read. Most of it would be completely irrelevant to our particular child anyway so we think why bother. I feel like I say "live and learn" so much that it annoys even me to hear myself say it.

So hey, here's a chuckle to leave you with. Nick was mind bendingly fussy tonight. I'm sure it's my latest addiction to snow peas twisting his poor little gut. Nothing I could do was right. I was in the middle of trying to soothe him with nursing which never works on him and could vaguely process the fact that Eden was saying in a very low voice "okay, don't worry mom, I'll be very careful, very very---- I looked up and she had the rocking horse at the top of the stairs that go down to our foyer. It's 10 stairs to be exact. She was sitting on top of the horse hanging onto the railing and about to plunge down the stairs. I kid you not. In my most screetching voice I forbade her from embarking on something that would almost guarantee a trip to the ER and she was completely CRUSHED. She tried explaining over and over how careful she would be. She pleaded in her most eloquent voice, to no avail. I am, after all, a half hazard mom but come on!

sleep

Sleep is really a treasure. I can't think of anything that really makes me more completely happy and content. All of the other things in life that make a person happy are conditional upon sleep so they obviously take second place. I can envision my angel babies smiling faces as they scoot up to my kitchen counter and start their orders each morning. When I've had sleep it's amusing, entertaining and I try to press the event into my memory permanantly, so I'll never forget. If I didn't sleep and I have a headache, everything they say is a personal insult. Every sound they make has to be a purposeful attack on my headache. Every question they ask is interpreted in an antagonistic fashion. Even as I'm being a completely reactionary sleep deprived witch, I'm psychoanalyzing myself and condemning my own behavior.
Two nights ago, I didn't sleep. Jody didn't sleep. Eden didn't sleep. Kaitlyn didn't sleep. Yep, you guessed it, Nick didn't sleep either. It was HORRIBLE. Tuesday I got up and REALLY wanted to do school. I wanted to have a positive day. I had prepared some really fun stuff before I knew that nobody would sleep. I launched myself into the kitchen and tried to enthusiasticly throw myself into the baking of the German Apple Pancake of the day. We went from that to talking about skeletal systems and brains. Apparently Eden watched some weird show at the neighbors house with poor little children who have brains on the outside of their heads. I have no idea what she saw. It was very distracting to the lesson. Every step we take in this journey gives me more appreciation for how teachers really do ever get anything taught. One thing I feel like we're making GREAT progress with, is raising a hand to speak without interrupting. Eden almost always hold her finger up instead of interrupting. The bad thing is when she does it in the car and we don't see the cute little finger.
At 10:30 Nick went down for his nap and I wordlessly fell into my bed without the slightest thought for what the kids might be up to. I tried to listen and heard some relatively safe words like "picnic" and blanket. At 10:47 I woke to a puddle of drool and Eden kissing my forehead over and over. I looked up and she told me to have a good nap and left. Now, I ask you what do you do with that? Do you allow your sleep greed to spoil the sweet gesture? I personally didn't get a chance to reflect. My little corgi started rythmically barking in the back yard, moving closer and closer to Nick's window. I jumped out of the bed. ran down the stairs, out the back of the garage and asked the little weasel if she really just wanted me to KILL her? In telling Jody about it later I discovered that he actually has very similar one sided conversations with the dog. He made a rather sheepish confession of it. His usual phrase is "it would be so easy."

Why am I still awake?

And why haven't I folded that dang laundry? I've sworn not to wash any more laundry until I fold and put away every last clean piece in the house. If anybody starts throwing flylady jargon at me they'll see the bad side of Betsy (that's mad Elizabeth). I'm not all bad. I've vacuumed the whole downstairs today. I've made the kids put away at least 70% of the stuff they drug out and put the rest away myself. The only real fault I see is that it's 10:55 and I'm squinting at the computer because I'm so deathly tired and I just can't tear myself away. After the monkeys go to bed I just love surfing and it's really bad. Tonight I was doing great until I started going over the class plan for tomorrow and realized it was all about the human brain and skeletons. I ran straight to the computer to print out animals and their matching skeletons for the kids to match. I swear the more things I get to teach, the more excited I get about doing this homeschool stuff. I'm certainly not as varied or experienced as a teacher in a classroom but I'm excited to call my chiropractor tomorrow morning and see if we can stop by his office for some skeletal viewings. That's something I know they wouldn't do at school. The most exciting thing of course is that my montessori supplies arrive on Wednesday. Every week when I go over my class plans it suggests something from the kit I'll be getting and I just CAN'T WAIT to incorporate it all.

Simply the very best part of the homeschooling so far this year is that Eden and I have finally reconnected. Since Kait was born, we floated apart and I had a very short temper with her. It was strange, like I just expected her to grow up because I was more busy. Now that we're doing all of these things together she is so sweet and so helpful and I feel myself working so much harder to help her and show her things that I had just assumed she would eventually figure out before. She has arbitrarily told me that she loves me more times in the last two weeks than in the whole summer.

Kait is struggling right now. I'm thinking about what to do to kind of bring her around. It's just the typical two year old pouty whiny stuff that everyone complains about so I doubt there's a whole lot I can do but I'm contemplating it anyway. On the other hand, her vocabulary seems to double every day. I just crack up sometimes when she says a new word in conversation. Today she used a word and my mind is so blank. I'll come back and edit this when I remember it.

Nick is at my most favorite age of all babies. Three months is magic. Plain and simple. He started that completely irresistable behavior of pulling off while he's nursing and smiling a lazy smile and then diving back and nursing some more. All three have done it and I just love it to no end. Tonight he was laying in my lap just giggling his head off. It was the most laughing I've ever heard from him. I would make a funny face and he would just giggle for the sheer joy of giggling. He has such a wonderful laid back happy personality. I just love it. It's so easy to tell what he needs when and he's so happy when you just do it.

Anyway, I'm going to bed now. My redhead will be home in only an hour and ten minutes. Man I miss him.

Here's a pic from the apple orchard we went to on Sunday.

My hair is peach

We went to spanish class today. Wonderful! We love spanish class, it's so good for everyone. Even my recalcitrant Kait at least gets to visit with her fast friend Remington. He's the most charming little 19 month old "sqeeze me" kid I've ever seen. I'm totally rambling, this is supposed to be about my peach hair.
We had to go to Target to exchange a skirt for Eden which would easily have held two of her. On our way there, called the love of my life and he was having a completely rotten day. I did my best to let him know I had his back and got to Target in a rather black mood myself. They refused to exchange the skirt because I've already brought two things back without receipts this year. Lovely. We headed over to get kids toothpaste and milk. I had to walk right past the hair dye. My feet moved slower and slower until I was standing there staring at the hair dye with complete absorption. Eden is the best little buddy to have shopping because she thinks we should get just about everything. I asked her if I should dye my hair and got exactly the enthusiastic response I desired. I was torn between the "golden light blonde"and the "ash light blonde" I settled on the "warmer shade." If the title had been "peach" I would have chosen the ash but alas they hooked me with "golden." While my hair was processing the doorbell rang. Ah yes, the lady that wanted to buy a rug I had on Craigslist! I invited her in with a flourish and gave her permission to laugh. The rest is history and I've now had maybe 6 or 7 hair dye fiasco's in my life and I still don't learn. Really life is best when I'm completely into my "natural" mode and don't give a fig about hair color or mascara. Every time I veer into the "fakey" mode I invariably forget I have mascara on and wipe it all over my face without knowing or dye my hair peach or purple or worse yet, ask my husband to do it and get a giant bleach spot on top of my head because he didn't shake the bottle. The bad part was Eden's face when I announced that my hair had turned out orange. She looked so stricken and told me it was terrible. Her empathy is really touching. Terrible? I don't know, it distracted me from my husbands woes for awhile and I have a feeling when he see's it tomorrow it will distract him too!

To have a garage sale...

The fateful garage sale finally could be postponed no longer. I woke up at 8:03. That was the first bad sign. I had to have a shower. Second bad sign. I couldn't get the signs to stay in the ground and frankly wasn't very motivated. I'm going to stop counting how many bad signs there were now just because it's a number I don't want to know. At about 9:30 I was still indecisively dragging my one borrowed table around in circles and my lovely husband popped his head out and asked how the garage sale was going. I gave him the honest low down that most of my stuff wasn't priced, I didn't have any change to give people, I didn't have any signs out and I hadn't had a single customer. He just gave me that wry smile that I like to think says "half the reason I love you is because you're such a complete flake." He took over the sign situation and ran to the gas station for change (and some mountain dew "nectar of the gods" as he calls it.) I continued scooting the scanty garage sale items around trying to make it look like I had more stuff.
People started trickling in. The first five people bought nothing. I asked Jody if didn't he have anything in the garage worth selling? He scrounged around and put some "man stuff" out which sold within a half an hour. I finally sold $2 worth of baby clothes. I won't drag out any more play by plays but suffice it to say that I will NEVER try to have a garage sale again. I'm not organized enough, it was the most torturous $50 I have ever EARNED and I sell much more and faster on Craigslist even if I do wind up spending just as much in the process. <--Nasty runon sentence.
After the horrid affair was over I walked around the "garage sale" snapping pictures to post on Craigslist. I have much higher hopes. Jody's only hope is to have his garage returned to him someday. The eternal promise of a garage sale ended with such a pathetic splat and he hasn't said a single condemning word to me. Can you say "SAINT?"

Arranged marraige anybody?

Today I had the pleasure of spending an hour with a lovely couple from India. Apparently arranged marriages are still very common over there and they in fact only met one time for ten minutes before they were married. They spent innumerable hours on the phone between India and the United States during their engagement but that was it! I found the whole story fascinating and when the husband helped me out to my car I couldn't help but ask if he had started falling in love before the marriage. He just chuckled and told me that things are very different over there trying to evade me. I poked and prodded a little further until he actually told me he picked her out of six different options. It just blew me away. I think they're just a lovely couple but they should never have told me they are an arranged marriage. I'll have the exciting experience of working with them pretty closely over the next few weeks and I just know I'll be psychoanalyzing them constantly.
The gathering for scones was wonderful, other than that the day was uneventful.

Today

I thought I'd just relive the day for the sheer torture of myself and hopefully entertainment for you. I got up this morning after a restless night interupted twice by a hungry baby and decided to take a shower. There wasn't any water so that was okay. We have city water, surely it would be back soon. I proceeded to the kitchen and went through the usual charade of asking my adorable blondies what they wanted for breakfast and having them change their minds several times in the course of only a few minutes. After they both had an arrangement of pancakes, cereal, yogurt and blueberries with milk and juice I started my tea. Yes, I trickled the water out of the faucet for at least three minutes, but I DID collect enough for tea. You will soon learn that tea is a fundamental part of life in our house. Without it, there would definitely need to be locks on our knives. Well, the girls decided tea sounded good too. First Kait wanted a cup of my tea which was a quick and easy fix... then Eden decided she'd really like to have Chamomile since it was her favorite. Kaitlyn quickly changed her mind... again and I dumped her tea back into the teapot and made them each a cup of chamomile. I would like to add here, that of all of the breakfast items today, the chamomile tea and the reheated pancakes won.
After breakfast cleanup I was really getting anxious to do school and have it out of the way but my dear little chub monkey Nick wasn't the least bit interested in a nap. Once the word "school" crossed my lips, the girls were all over it like a chicken on a june bug. I thought maybe we could swing it so we did Yoga with Nick in between us. That went well. We matched and paired socks carefully cuffing them with Nick adding a fair amount of drool to the process from his propped position between my legs. Then it was time to paint the salt dough art we created last week. I knew they'd remember it but I was just praying they would forget. Twas not to be. With Nick hanging on my hip I got aprons and newspaper and PAINT out. Paint in my house almost always turns into a free for all. I just can't keep a lid on it. No matter what. I chose four containers of contrasting colors and told them to stick with those and carried Nick off to his room with lead feet. I knew I was making a mistake but I really wanted him to nap. Kait came in to squeeze his cheeks and ask if she could sit in the recliner which I politely refused and sent her packing back to work on her "project." I finally tossed the little fuss monkey into his crib praying he'd just figure it out and go to sleep. I went back in the kitchen and found all of the paint out. Of course. Who could I blame? There were streaks of yellow paint in the red glitter glue bottle and all of the red and white were being mixed together to create pink which is really a much better color anyway. We wrapped up the painting process without much ado. We all worked on our phonics for a few minutes and I admitted defeat and went and scooped up my poor squalling Nickster. I nursed him to sleep and patted his back until he gave up the ghost.
Then the girls made a marathon telephone call to their grandmother to give her directions on how she should manage a birthday party she's throwing for a friend this weekend. I heard alot about how Eden thought Grandma should dress and whether or not there should be a fashion show. I was incredibly heartened to hear it because it's a 50th birthday party for a friend of hers and my little golden girl didn't even ask to be invited or seem to consider it an option. She just wanted to share some tips Grandma might not have thought of. The conversation piddled on endlessly with poor Grandma trying to wind it up at least four times before being coerced into having a conversation with the baby doll Saraphina...(I really don't know how to spell her name, Eden can't spell yet and she named her.) I finally interceeded and told Eden that Grandma probably had other things she was working on and Eden immediately demanded to know if that were true from Grandma.
At 12:45ish our water came back on! Halleluja! I took my shower.
We loaded up after lunch and went to my friend Knelly's house to play. She has three kids the same age as my kids. It's complete pandemonium when we get together but we do it anyway. This time was NO exception. Kait is pretty much potty trained... I took her to the bathroom right away when we arrived and she went. Twenty minutes later, we had a little accident. No problem I had spare clothes. Twenty minutes later we had another little accident. No problem, we cleaned that up and Castle (Knelly's adorable boy) kindly loaned her a pair of shorts that are hysterically a size 3-6 months but just fit a two year old better. LOL! I have no idea how Knelly made this discovery. Meanwhile our four year old princesses marched in and demanded a shovel for a frog hunting project. Knelly delivered them with two wooden spoons which we did not analyze. (Insert red sirens). The four year olds were conspicuously quiet after that but Knelly and I were determined to have girl talk time so we didn't even check on them... A little later, Knelly kindly decided to make some applesauce for the kids. I was standing in the kitchen with her and she pointed out that the girls were on the patio. I looked outside and saw my beautiful blondie in a pink Sleeping Beauty dress with black hands, making handprints on the vinyl tablecloth on the patio. I wanted to crawl under Knelly's dining table but it doesn't have legs yet. She is a bargain hunter like me and found a beautiful table that needed legs and had the legs made. They're being delivered tomorrow but for the moment, you just can't crawl under a table without legs.
We dashed into the back yard and there they were. They had a small hole dug in the flower bed where they had been as they later explained, digging imaginary toads. I asked Eden if it had been her idea. She allowed that yes it had been her idea. Knelly and I looked at each other and felt the hysterical laughter reverberating silently between us. Knelly sternly announced that she and I were going inside to get them some towels to clean up. We went in the kitchen and dissolved into laughter. Not because it was okay but because it was so ridiculous and so totally our fault. I told her that this is just what Eden does and I don't know why and I'm sorry. She told me not to worry, that her daughter is exactly the same and we both have the same struggle. I solemnly marched Eden out while she wept about having to leave her friends house. Of course she didn't weep with regret for her actions. That never happens when Eden makes her messes. Maybe a psychologist will read this someday and tell me why.
We went to Tuesday Morning and bought three dish towels for my kitchen to hang when I'm showing the house. Yes, our house is for sale. Isn't that funny? I'm showing a house, I've been planning a yard sale for three months, I'm homeschooling my children, I have two dogs and my husband is working 70+ hours a week. CRAZY! Which leads me to the final chapter of my day.
We met Jody for a nice uneventful dinner on the patio at Chipotle. Jody told me after my day I should just forget grocery shopping and let him help me tomorrow. Jody headed off to work and I got into the car and on the phone to plan a mini-shower for a friend in the neighborhood. I contacted everyone but one person and most agreed to come tomorrow at 12:30 for a brunch style get together. Scones were requested by the honoree so tomorrow I am suddenly planning to make fratata, scones, fresh fruit and some kind of a drink, find a gift bag and do something special. At that moment I resigned myself and headed towards Walmart.
Yes, Walmart. We arrived at 6:42 and I mentioned to Eden how nice it would be if we could make it through in less than half an hour since I had a list. How funny that seems now. An hour and twenty minutes later, and of course another bathroom trip later we arrived at the car. I think I must have been visibly sagging by then. I loaded the groceries, sat in the drivers seat and nursed Nick. The girls opened the sunroof and offered salutations to every passerby despite all discouragements. Finally, Kait got down and informed me she was the mommy and I needed to get out of the seat so she could drive. Ya know, if she were taller than 34 inches I really would be tempted to let her have a go at being mommy for awhile.
Despite his dry diaper, replete state and Eden making up hysterical songs for him, Nick cried the whole way home, and in the last 5 minutes of the drive Kait joined the chorus because her sandal was crooked. As we turned the corner into the subdivision Eden hollered over the din "Guess what all you crying people? We're almost home!"

This is just the beginning

I've decided to start a blog. Not because I'm brilliant, have a fascinating life or can impart great wisdom. My reasoning is simple. If I'm writing, I won't be shopping.