Merry Christmas

December 14, 2009
Dear Family and Friends,

It has been awhile since I have written a Christmas letter but I'm turning the tide this year. It's been another rollercoaster year in the world of the Allen family. I guess everyone knows, last fall Jody was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and the first surgeon didn't remove all of the cancer. This spring we elected to go to the Mayo Clinic and have one of the best surgeons available perform the very delicate job of finding and removing the remaining cancer. It was a huge effort, supported by both of our families, that paid off enormously. Jody recently got the great news that he is very healthy and has only two very small questionable lymph nodes that may have to be looked at in a few years. They can't even be confirmed as cancer at this point. It's wonderful news, but the experience has changed us. We've now crossed the rivers of unemployment, being unable to sell our home in Minnesota, and learning contentment as renters the past couple of years. Now, we can truely empathize with any person facing the uncertain news of cancer. I can't help but be reminded of the parable Jesus told of the pruning of the vine so it could bear more fruit. I am happy to say, that our family now bears much fruit of God's goodness, when compared with the spiritual desert we complacently resided in just two short years ago. I can't say we've arrived, but God is definitely at work in our lives and the change is deeply satisfying.
My day to day is a bit of a disaster. Everyone knows I'm as haywire as they come. It didn't matter much when I was a stay at home mom to preschoolers, but we've now transitioned to school. I have to rise early and remember some detail every morning when I take Eden to school. There's homework, library books, tennis shoes on gym days... the list goes on. I'm not proud of the fact that I never do seem to get it all right, but I suppose the children will muddle through their school years as well as possible despite their deeply flawed mother. It is nice that we have new teachers each year. I know Eden is always loved by them, but having me for a class parent might be a little too much for any teacher for years on end. Between that, chasing two toddlers, keeping track of our escape artist dogs and buying and selling furniture, I rarely have time to put on a belt or tweeze my eyebrows.
Jody has been work - work - working as usual. His company is staying afloat amid the difficult economy and I'm thankful they have a strong business plan and know how to cut corners to prevent layoffs as much as possible. He's been riding his bike like he used to, before Eden was born and going to spin class most mornings at the gym. I told him the other day that his chiseled face is very distracting. How do I put a she devil face here? He loves it when I embrarras him... or maybe I just wish he loved it. He also built Eden's rabbit, Cotton a cage this fall that I like to call the "Taj Ma Hutch". The rest of his evenings are consumed with homework, pillow fights and wrestling matches and a bit of furniture refinishing.
Eden is seven this year and she has been trying out different hobbies. She finished up gymnastics in the spring, tried riding a horse and did a soccer clinic this fall. She announced yesterday as she got into the car after school that she needed to start Karate right away. Apparently there's been a recent rash of kiss chase on recess. She's doing great in first grade. She loves science and history and has grown by leaps and bounds in just one semester. I really can't believe that they call this first grade; she knows what an atom is, how a circuit works and who the phonecians were. She knows six parts of speech and how to write a letter from begining to end correctly.
Kaitlyn is four this year and this will be her last year at home under my wing. She works on her phonics daily and is constantly doing educational games on the computer. She is learning how to form letters, capitalize and space words on the computer and can sound out almost anything. She loves to type messages, write letters and makes er... well... abstract art for me. She's been taking violin since September and is on the brink of learning how to play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." I feel giddy when I watch her little fingers gaining confidence and skill on her tiny little instrument. I'll miss having her as my little buddy next fall.
Nicholas still has me wrapped around his little finger. I am starting to treat him like a big boy but I was struggling, as my entire family so nicely pointed out. He's very active, loves to build, loves to tumble and do acrobatics; but most of all, play with his cars and trucks. He talks enough for us to understand his needs but still bursts into spontaneous tirades of gibberish that send the whole family into laughter. He's expressive, charming and loves to cuddle. We have the tantrums and all of the lovely little two year old dealings but overall, he's a very good little two year old, even if he has been coddled a bit.
We'd love to hear from any and all of you. It seems like over time, addresses and phone numbers have a way of getting lost but it doesn't change the feelings of goodwill we cherish towards you all. May everyone's Christmas be filled with good memories and special time spent with family.

Love,
Jody, Elizabeth, Eden, Kaitlyn and Nicholas

I think it's important for me to record this.

I have done Eden a terrible disservice and really have no way of making it up to her. She cried, I cried, then I cried again because of the horrible guilt. Somehow, this past fall, I sat down with the school calendar and recorded on my master calendar that Eden's Winter Musical would be on Wednesday, December 9th. By some mental acrobatics, I somehow managed to change that to December 16th in my mind. By some crazy twist of fate, both dates were wrong and it was, in fact, Monday, December 14th. It was last night, and Eden missed it. All of that would be understandable aside from the fact that I received several correspondences from the school regarding the exact date and it never registered. This was compounded by the fact that Eden told me last weekend that it was on Monday and I didn't believe her. I thought she was confused. I glanced at my calendar and didn't even notice I had it written on the 9th, not the 16th anyway. So, somehow despite approximately 15 safety nets, I made Eden, dear Eden, miss her Christmas Musical. She practiced those songs for months, she anticipated wearing her most beautiufl dress, and then she had to go to school today and listen to all of her friends talk about it. I have cried on and off about ten times. I am overcome with regret. So, though I often make fun of my lack of organization, I really do wish I could ever just get the really important things right.

A little confession

Now, if this is not something that you identify with... please do me the favor of NEVER telling me. I realize that I am held to a higher standard by people judging my faith in Christ and I understand the logic. They think I find myself to be a better person deserving of heaven which is a complete misconception but is there nonetheless.
Sunday morning I rolled around in bed pretending I didn't need to get up yet. Finally at 9:20 I arose. I sailed into the kitchen to find Kait at the counter and Eden playing with the bingo game cage. I told them to run upstairs and get dressed quickly so we wouldn't be late for church. What I did not say was that they should disregard my lecture of the night before about their state of dereliction and desperate need for bathing. I ran downstairs to grab a shower because we all know that people will forgive dirty children but not dirty parents. I was in the third glorious minute of my shower when the pressure dropped and I realized the girls had independently decided to bathe. "GREAT." I got out of the shower, dashed upstairs and told them to hurry while digging everywhere for a clean pair of jeans that I like on me. None to be found. Gotta wear the old faithful black velvet pants, but it's freezing outside so then I had to paw through all of my drawers looking for the only pair of leggings I own to wear underneath. I finally felt sufficiently attired and turned back to the girls. They had decided to get out of the bath with dry hair. Now that was just pointless to me. I told them to wash each others hair and dashed downstairs to dry my hair. I got it about half dry and started getting the "Oh God, we're going to be late for CHURCH" ants in my pants. I dashed back upstairs and pawed through Nick's dresser looking for church clothes while lecturing the girls that they HAD to get OUT of the bath. They jumped out, I dashed back downstairs to answer the 10:00 doorbell and show some furniture that the lady did NOT buy and came back up a few minutes later to find Eden standing there telling me she had no idea what to wear to church. This was just the limit. All the while, Jody had been shoveling snow in the driveway and getting a shower himself, which turned out to be a 20 second shower where he shiveringly washed his hair. I dashed into Eden's room, found her some clothes and practically dressed her. Talked Kait into switching into a shirt that kind of matched her summer dress and tights she had chosen and then started trying to get Nick up so I could dress him. I had thrown several random items out trying to decide what would be both warm and cute on a 5 degree day. Not that Kait had cared, but all the same. Ya know? Eden showed up with her clothes on! Victory only to annouce that she had not conditioned her hair because she didn't have TIME. I exploded. Of course, having spent 30 minutes and an entire water heater full of water, I THINK she had time to condition her hair. I drug her quivering frame into the bathroom, slapped leave in conditioner into her hair and brushed it. Jody dressed Nick. Praise God. At this point, my neighbor Theresa whom I had invited to go to church with us was in the driveway, beautifully made up with smooth hair, fresh makeup and a cleaned off car. I started throwing granola bars at people and I KNEW I was not going to make it if I didn't get at least one cup of tea so I heated that up. We finally drug the whole clap trap crew out the door and made it to church on time.
I'm only sharing this story because I do know for a fact there is another woman who shared this same drama at a time in her life because Jody's mom told me so. No, it wasn't her! It was her sister and she said that she used to commit more sins getting her kids out the door to church, than the whole rest of the week. True, so true.
As I sat ready to take my communion at the end of church, all I could think of was how I had gotten up too late, had not laid out clothes for church, yelled at my daughter for my own lack of organization, had failed to give my family a breakfast due to my laziness and still sat primly in the pew with my symbolic cup of Christs blood which was shed for the very sins I committed that morning.

101

Yup, this is my 101st blog entry.
I sat in my girls room recounting another childhood story last night. It is always their last request to either Jody or me before they drift to dreamland. I relived the day my dad drove down the road with my sister and me past our church and then past the ATV store. It was Mom and Dad's 17th anniversary.... I think. Suddenly, dad pulled off the road, turned the car around and headed back to the ATV store. He had an idea and nobody knows how to be completely impetuous like my dad. He pointed at the huge trampoline on display out front and announced that it would be the perfect anniversary gift to Mom. Gin and I wanted it and I mean BAD but we just weren't sure how Mom was going to feel about it on her anniversary. It didn't matter. Dad had sold himself on it in a split second. The salesman quickly convinced all of us that we needed the one with the 25 year guarantee. We took it home, broke open the boxes and pinched our hands a zillion times putting the thing together. Dad was positively giddy and completely sure it was the recipe for an unforgettable anniversary. Ginny and I had finally reconciled ourselves to the fact that we might enjoy Mom's anniversary gift more than she would and maybe we'd just have to live with the guilt. Mom came home with Daniel and we led her to the trampoline. She saw it and laughed. She walked up to it and tears of laughter were pouring down her face. She held onto the side of it and laughed. Then she got on it and jumped and laughed harder. Very quickly she jumped off and headed to the restroom laughing. She came back and started laughing as soon as she got back on it and I guess I had no realization at the time but now I see how my parents were able pull through all of the tough times. It wasn't a perfect life and none of the six people in our family were perfect people but we all instinctively knew how to make something special happen for one another in a completely selfless way. That memory is so clear and yet the one thing I'm fuzzy on is exactly how long Dad just stood watching my mom's joy. I guess my family thinks that I'm fortunate to have a crystal clear memory of my childhood and also be able to cling to the happy moments, put a glow around them and call them my childhood. Luckily, I'm also able to remember the tough times, when my parents chose to love no matter where their partner was at, and I know that is what pulled them through. Mom and Dad have been through alot in the years since that anniversary. As a matter of fact, a house fire took every memento, ever love letter, every gift from every anniversary and every love song Dad ever wrote for Mom but they still have a trampoline for a romantic night under the stars now and then.
Jody loves for me to share it all. He sat and listened to that story about the trampoline and I saw a wistfulness in his expression but also a recognition of what to want. His only comment was "That is a wonderful story." It told me he was so glad that I had that memory and that now we can give our children such memories together. I feel the same unbreakable thread of love in the family Jody and I have been given. It is the thread of love and selflessness that always pulls us through the impatience, the miscommunications, the hard days and the uncertain moments.
But to my parents, I can only say, thank you for the gift. Thank you for the example to follow. The gift of perservering through every hardship, side by side, slugging it out together, for God, for each other and for your children. Of all things, I think to myself that I want to give to my children more than anything, I just want them to always know that we love God, we love each other and we love them more than ourselves.
I think my next blog will be a collection of the love shown by each family member just to me, that I will never forget from those not so long ago days on the farm.

Map Loco

I am loco over my map loco. I had peeps from Dublin Ireland and Cali visit my blog today! It's so cool! It made me want to keep writing. Maybe someday I can get a paying job writing. I think for that to happen, I would have to morph overnight into a planner with a writing career plan.
I'll add a little onto my last blog just because my mind has expanded on it. If you are not a planner, it means you are a dreamer. You replace your planning time with dream time. For instance, this AM, I knew I had to take food to the teachers at school. I toyed with making bread, dreamed about all of their faces when they saw the homemade bread, tossed aorund the idea of making other tantalizing treats from my kitchen, like my homemade macaroni and cheese but I had no shell pasta or maybe piles of scones, but I would need cream, perhaps fratata but I had no hashbrowns. While I was dreaming up the tantalizing treats to place before the worshipful teachers and school staff, I took care of the feverish children and wondered if they would ever get well. I wandered over to the computer and what to my dreaming eyes should be on craigslist but another leather couch. I pounced on it and the lady gave me first dibs. I loaded up the groggy children, dashed over to Niwot and discovered a not so great couch. No worries, I could go home and still have time to whip up something nice for the teachers. I called Jody and he said I should go to Sam's for a replacement camera and so I decided with my poor miserable children in tow that I should just find some easy pre-made treat for the teachers at Sam's. It would feed them and they might not contract our terrible virus. That is what happens to dreamers. Planners, sit down a week in advance, plan what they'll take to the teachers and go to the store several days in advance and purchase all of their ingredients. Then they place tantalizing homemade treats before the eyes of the adoring school employees.
The other day, Kait came to me with her eyebrows scrunched together and said "Mommy, what does stinded mean?" I scrunched my eyebrows together myself and looked into her eyes. I hate asking for more information so I said "Extended?" She replied that yes, I had it. "I sagged with relief because I just love it when I don't have to pepper the kids with questions to figure out what in the world THEIR question is. "Extend is when you make something longer, like a table with the leaf in it or if family visits and decides to stay longer, they have an extended visit." Kait nodded, with that look of a child on a wavy sea of confusion in their minds. I watched her eyes bounce around the room trying to make an intangible connection then she said "well, what if a dogs tummy is stinded, then what?" To me, I just couldn't help but wonder how long Kaitlyn had been contemplating the word distended. How long had she thought about it and tried to puzzle it out and where in the world had she heard it? She hasn't seen Animal Planet in ages.
She calls Halloween "Hallowing." I love that.
Eden was rushing around the other day working on the Thankfulness tree and skidded across the kitchen (her tylenol was working) "Mom, where's the destruction paper?"
One night when dinner cleanup was done, I landed on the couch with a sigh, but it didn't feel like I was alone. I didn't hear anything but it felt like another person was very close to me, breathing distance. I lunged up and looked out the window beside me to see if someone was right outside. Nothing. Still the strange feeling persisted. I heard a little crinkle of plastic. I looked down at the floor at the end of the couch. Nothing. The crinkling plastic got louder and the curtain swayed, a struggling grunt and a heavy breath was expelled almost right beside my face. I pulled the bunched curtain completely away from the wall and discovered Nick, with a package of AAA batteries open looking at a battery. I can't imagine the disappointment. He had planned this, executed it, squirreled himself away, probably anticipating chocolate and all he had was a battery.

What kind of person am I?

I know that alot of people write books and slice people up into lots of different categories based on a variety of premises but I'm just gonna slice em up into two categories. There's the people that plan their life and people that dream their lives. I meet the planners basically everywhere. They are very obvious. If you have a question about a school policy, they ramble it off because they read everything in it's entirety. They get up at a certain time, they go to the gym, they do certain laundry on certain days, they have storage rooms with clear plastic totes that are labeled for extra security, they do meal planning, they remember where they are going and when, up to a month in advance from a mental CALENDAR, they balance their checkbooks, have an organized junk drawer and rotate the clothes through their closets. I realize there are some who find this as mind blowing as I do and that is why I have created the other category. Basically everything that happens, happens to you , not because you made it happen like the planners but because when you should have been planning, you were dreaming. I don't even want to go into what happens to the non-planners in the grocery store and the resulting week of meals from this weekly catastrophe... A perfect example of this personality type would be my impact on my entire relationship with Jody. We dated with no plan... that I knew of although there was plenty of dreaming. Later Jody admitted that he had a plan but never divulged it to me. His plan was sabotaged by my lack of planning and the resulting first "suprise miracle" followed closely by two more. There was a brief time of planning, where we sold the townhouse and bought a three bed two bath home in Littleton but then we decided to move to Minnesota. We had no plan whatsoever. We had no plan and batta bing, lots of stuff HAPPENED to us. I can't help but think, that if we were like the couple on House Hunters that strolled out into suburbia, bought a two story house and furnished it for the "someday" that they have children, with a calculated plan... perhaps things would be a little more... planned.
Luckily for my children, Eden and Kait both seem to be natural planners. Kaitlyn plans all of her grandparents visits well in advance, she plans craft time each week, trips to the park, grocery store trips and even baths. She loves to make lists and phone calls to arrange playdates...Eden plans her birthday party six months in advance and regularly has planned marketing strategies of which today included starting a hair braiding business. She's made and "OPEN" and "CLOSED" sign to hang on our front door and huge posters to put out front tomorrow. I am only hoping she won't find it crushing if I am her only customer, but kids seem to be resilient, especially if they are planners because the next strategy is in the works before the first one has failed. None of this comes from me. I decided to start the fence repair project the other day and had no concept that I would possibly need more than a chop saw, a drill and some screws. As for measuring each board, eh, what's the big deal? I soon found out what the big deal was and suffered a laborous experience due to, as usual, my absence of ability to plan.
Even this very moment, I know if I want to come up with any creative Christmas gifts for people, I need to get on it right now. Will I do what I know the planners are doing? No, I won't. Christmas will happen to me just like every year. I will be a victim of it's chaos and confusion, hoping that if I make hot cocoa with a peppermint stick in it and sing Christmas songs to the kids every night of December, they'll look back on it fondly and think how special it was, without a clue of the clever "Martha Stewart Living" Christmases going on all around us.
I also know that I should have a list together of groceries I need for Thanksgiving. Will I do that? Perhaps, if I finish painting the bathroom that I started over a week ago and can't seem to get around to finishing the trim on. I do have to say, I'm not overly concerned, because I have sewn up Thanksgiving quite nicely. I have two planners coming to dinner, so it should be a cinch.
In closing, I have to say, that even though I push it, I don't plan and life really does just seem to be happening to me all over the place, I'm so happy. I'm just so happy. The blessings God has brought through my complete lack of planning have made up for all of the chaos of the process.
Now that I've written all of this, I realize quite clearly that Jody IS a planner... I just need to be on the planning committee. I could take the minutes.

Seven years of Eden

This is a bit belated but I try to make a special blog about each child around their birthdays.
I have had ups and downs as a mother and whenever I honestly look at it, the only downside to parenting is my own selfishness, laziness or impatience, not any absence of greatness from my children. It's amazing, we have had seven years of Eden. I suppose it would make Adam and Eve jealous. I've always pictured them in Eden for maybe a few months and then blowing it.
Eden has been basically the best first child God could have given us. She is relatively quiet, intelligent, creative, not too bossy and very patient with the others. She's sensitive which has made school a bit of a journey but she seems to be doing well now and has a fun little circle of friends.
She lost three teeth this fall before she turned 7. It seems like we're running out of those little kid first memories.
What I love about Eden is how she cares about me. She's not quite child like. If I have a headache, she honestly wants to give me a massage. If I snap at her she politely tells me that's okay she'll do whatever she asked for later. It's very convicting and I think it's the only true motivator of change. Having a child willing to behave more maturely than me, really puts this parent on track. I volunteer in her class and when I come in, she makes me feel so loved. She just wants me to be with her every second and hugs me constantly.
She's a floating soul with a long attention span for imagination and a short one for penmanship. She loves math and seems to rarely get a problem wrong, comes home bursting with information about science, singing her songs from music and diligently trys at english and reading but I do believe she will be relieved when they tire of trying to make her write and hand her a laptop someday. Writing does not appear to be her forte. The more she has to write the less interested she is in the project.
Her giggle is one of the most addictive sounds. As a matter of fact, I can hear her making the whole crew giggle right now as they make stair sleds out of sleeping bags and tumble down. We have a foot of snow outside and if I were a great mom, I'd suit them up and take them to a sledding hill.
Some of Eden's finer moments this year have been:
She told me she made friends with a girl named Ella because she was always alone on the playground. I loved that she reached out to someone who seemed alone. When I met Ella's dad later he told me it was her first year. It brought a bit of joy to me.
She really does just play whatever Nick wants for hours. She does the same thing she did with Kait at this age where she feeds ideas to the little one and makes them feel like it was their idea and then makes it even better. She's a great friend to her siblings and I love that.
I guess I feel like a seven year old is just so big and so little. So big that she's going to school all day, marching in with her backpack and her lunch sack, but just so little next to all of those other kids. So big compared to her siblings but so little when I can't get her out the door in the morning because she's still pretending a big scenario with Kaitlyn while I yell "PUT YOUR SHOES ON!" She's doing really great with school. She gets distracted but I'm told that goes with the territory.
On her birthday, I took cupcakes in to her class and had them all set out when the kids came back from a specials class. The children came pouring in bursting out with exclamations like "CUPCAKES, ORANGE JUICE, I LOVE CHOCOLATE!!!!!!" Ms. Baxter was repeating in a normal voice over and over "Please go to your seats and do not touch the cupcakes." It was pandamonium. I watched the kids pour in and wondered where Eden was. I should have known she'd be last. She's the pokiest puppy in the crew. She walked in, her eyes slid over the room, and then came to rest on me. She smiled, walked over to me, wrapped her arms around me and said "Thank you Mommy." She quietly sat down at her desk, listened to the birthday song and snarfed down her cupcake. It kinda felt like I got the big gift. What a lady to just thank me like that with such sincerity.
Her birthday party at the Rec Center was fun too. She climbed the rock wall which she's always wanted to do and she swam almost to her hearts content. I made a rainbow of cupcakes that turned out pretty cute and all of the kids seemed to have fun. Her Grandapa and Grandma Allen drove out for the week, so she had a special taxi service to school and whatnot. It seemed more like a birth week than a birthday.
I love you so much Eden.

Singin in the rain

Seems like you're always facing something and sometimes it's worse than others. Fall has a certain knack for presenting us with stuff. I remember two Christmases ago I was consumed with the move back to Colorado and all of the emotions surrounding it. Last year we were dealing with Jody's cancer and spent Christmas waiting to find out if they thought they'd gotten it all etc... Now this one will be spent fighting our insurance company to make them pay for Jody's latest surgery. It seems ridiculous and frustrating but it certainly puts money in perspective when I look back at the weighty issues we've faced lately. I know it's easier for me to put money worries aside because I'm not the breadwinner and I have an instinct for thinking optimistically but for this Christmas, I oddly feel a burst of joy that hasn't consumed me for many Christmases. I am so relieved that all we really have to deal with for now is money. What a relief. Even as I stare at a $30,000 medical bill wondering how far I will have to go to find someone to take responsibility for it. So, let the financial rain fall. It's nothing.
Kaitlyn had violin today. She loves it. Today she was finally allowed to play the bow on the violin for the first time. This was either her 6th or 7th week so there was alot of build up to this. She has mastered nothing but she and I have learned alot. I feel so overwhelmed at each lesson but what's interesting is Kait takes it for granted that she'll be able to do it and she does it.
We went to the pumpkin patch this last weekend and had a good time. I can see how far Jody and I have come. We took one look at the pumpkin prices and decided to pick up our Colorado grown pumpkins at King Soopers and pay for a hay ride. Learning the hard way how to have a good time and pinch those pennies.

This n That

Eden started school in late August and I'm such a wimpy mom. I just hate going to bed at night and I hate waking up in the morning. I roll around in the bed moaning and finally drag myself away from my little heaven and then go inflict the same torture on Eden. Who picked this life schedule and why does everyone have to participate? If they had a school that ran from 10-5 Eden would go and we would love staying up late and sleeping in like the sluggards that the Bible calls people like us. Anyway, here's a pic of her on the first day. Doesn't she look bright eyed and bushy tailed? She won't say she loves school and she won't say she hates it but I think she's really distracted by the other kids. She comes home telling me she had to take school work out on recess because she didn't finish in class and hasn't eaten a quarter of her lunch. Already all of this friend drama on the playground... ugh and we haven't even started homework. She's also started riding horses this year. I got a 1/4 lease of a 19 year old pony and she can go out to this farm nearby and ride her twice a week. She loves it!
So Kaity and I are homeschooling again this year. She's always pushing me and I'm horribly distracted by my little furniture business but we do try. Here's a picture of her standing by the self portrait we made this week. She also learned how to read the word "the." A new word she is using for everything is "concentrating." It's her explanation for everything she forgets. "Well, I was concentrating on yadda yadda yadda, so I FORGOT yadda yadda yadda. LOL! She's also starting violin. I don't even want to go into the details of the violins that have run through our house on the hunt for the perfect one, which I believe we now have. She's excited and Eden can't wait to hear her play "twinkle twinkle litle star."
Nick is just the darling of my life and he gets away with MURDER. He bites Kaitlyn, gets out of bed and comes downstairs after I put him to bed at night, he refuses to eat meals, begs for trix and is just basically spoiled rotten. I really hope he doesn't get rotten. I feel powerless to even try to parent him with the same discipline I've given the girls. He's my baby and now I get it. Every mother that I've seen carting her four year old around on her hip and getting a cup of milk for, now has my empathy. I officially get it. If he smiles and turns his head to the side like Bolt, I melt... I know the situation is dire, because the girls have started telling me "he's NOT a baby anymore, he shouldn't get to do that!" Oh and he won't talk even though he can. It's just pathetically adorable and irresistable.


Here's a couple

The Auction House

It was a cool dark night. I walked into the seedy auction house and every sage eye in the place gave me the once over. I knew I looked out of place but something from my childhood calls me to places like this. The antique theater seating was reminiscent of the salebarn where I spent thousands of hours of my childhood watching the cow punchers push the animals through the auction ring. I settled in a seat in about the 6th row. The man next to me said hi which I recpirocated. I could feel my pulse pick up as I watched the auctioneer run through item after item, selling it before I could decide whether to bid or not. The old auction hounds stood at the front, eyeing everything over closely but I wasn't so brave. Suddenly, the handler was holding an old stenograph machine, they couldn't get a bid so they threw in a roadside emergency kit. They were asking $10 and nobody was biting. To my covetous eyes, what should appear but a shoeshine kit. He threw it in to the lot and every wise soul sat there impassively. I went back in time to my early childhood. My older brother Louis sat proudly with his shoeshine kit, polishing his shoes to an impossible shine. First he applied the polish, then he rubbed it into every crevice, then he let it sit, then he got out the brush, he brushed it seemingly forever, finally he set aside the brush and took out a softer brush, after that it was the super soft cloth being buffed across the toe of the shoe feverishly, finally to be lifted as if it were a magicians cloth to reveal a shoe that looked more beautiful than a new one. Perhaps not all of these images rushed through my mind, but the sight of that shoeshine kit evoked a general feeling of nostalgia as I stared at it. From seemingly nowhere, two antique prosthetic legs appeared and the whole crowd guffawed. If anything was going to kill the mood to bid, I think it was those creepy buff colored fake legs with scratches all over them. I stared incredulously, trying to imagine Jody's face if I walked in the door with such a spectacle. In a split second I decided they could always be discarded and I just could not resist the shoe shine kit. The auctioneer was about to give up. The price was dropping and finally it went to $2 and it seemed my arm flew up with a will of it's own. The auctioneer collapsed onto his desk and lift his head in a dramatic gesture and said with great feeling "THANK YOU FOR YOUR MERCY BID." Everyone in the room burst into laughter and the handler came toward me with those legs... then another handler came with the roadside emergency kit, then another handler arrived with the shoeshine kit and the stenograph machine. It was my first auction and I was already the laughingstock of the auction house. As I walked by, people would say "oh so you're the 'leg' lady!" "Ha ha ha, I can't believe you wound up with those legs!" " What in the world are you going to do with those things?" I gave a sheepish grin and made several trips to the car with my $2 loot, justifying it in my mind the whole time as a necessary means to a vague end.
Ahh well, I think I got the last laugh on all of those old auction hounds. I have a nice shoe shine kit and roadside emergency kit for my car.
The stenograph machine sold on Ebay for over $70. I gave a leg to a friend to use as a gag gift and sold the other for $10 on Ebay which I absent mindedly sent to the stenograph machine buyer and accidentally sent the stenograph machine to the very nice Dr. who wanted the leg but that's a whole nother story.

A fun little family visit

Jody's Aunt Sharon and Uncle Bob breezed in last night and had a little visit with us. They even took us all out for a night out on the town and treated us to a yummy dinner at Johnny Carino's. I can't help but think how brave anyone is to take my crew out. It was alot of fun and even today Eden and Kait were bemoaning the fact that they weren't here longer. Bob's hilarious and Sharon's the epitome of kindness and attentiveness to the kids. I had to take a pic of Sharon and Kait together because they were matchey. LOL! Here's the fun evening. Unfortunately I was so consumed with taking the picture that I don't know what Jody was doing to make Bob and Sharon laugh so hard.

First Grade and other stuff

Eden just finished her second week of school. I love it. I have all day to do my chores, drink my tea and educate Kaitlyn and Nick before I have to pick her up. Last year is just a miserable memory. My disorganization, Kaitlyn always feeling gyped on time for homeschool and Nicks naps interrupted are a thing of the past. We started the year with a bang just the way I had planned in a previous blog. I bought a closet bag organizer, went together with my mother-in-law to make sure Eden had enough clothes to make it until I catch up with laundry and then some, I bought a huge calendar and hung it on the inside of the pantry door and loaded it with the special days I must remember things. I baked banana spice bread for the fall festival and delivered it on time. I have remembered the Friday folder and kept everything in it's place so far. I do not know if I will continue in this vein for the whole year but it does feel very good so far.
Jody's mom and step-dad came for a visit recently and on the last day of their visit I had a little inspiration. As Maureen came out of the kitchen I popped my belly out as far as I could and gently rubbed it while saying"You know Maureen, we've been meaning to tell you..." She almost fainted. I laid in bed that night getting spurts of giggles over it. It just cracked me up to no end.
On that topic, my dear little brother Daniel and his wife Hannah are expecting their first baby! Apparently she has had the worst possible morning sickness, finally having to be put on prescription meds. Poor thing. I never felt good during pregnancy but luckily never puked.
I was sitting here the other day plunking around on the computer and looked up and Kait had her body half buried under the buffet. Suddenly she shouted, "guys come here, there's something very MYSTERIOUS under here!" It was an old egg sack from a spider.
WE went to Sam's Club last night and Kait wanted to buy a flat of gatorade. Jody foolishly told her that if she could pick it up and put it in the cart, he'd buy it... She couldn't so she moved over to the vitamin water which had fewer bottles and carried it over and slid it onto the bottom of the cart. Jody kept trying to argue and tell her that she hadn't put it in the top. The little spunky thing had gumption. She told him she had it in the cart and it still counted. Jody was trying to figure out how to avoid spending $13 on humming bird nectar so I said, "hey Kait, how about organic chocolate milk instead?" She just grinned and said "okay, but I'll get it" and marched off. Dad always said I was the biggest little kid he knew. Well, I guess Kait's the biggest little girl I know.
Nick runs non-stop. He runs circles around the house, upstairs, downstairs, through the store, down the driveway, here, there everywhere. We have a rather belated 2 year checkup coming up and I predict that he hasn't gained an ounce but has stretched 2 inches. Nobody can believe how little and agile he is. All of these thundering 18 month old boys seem to tower over him and just fumble along while he can climb anything, run as fast as can be and looks like he's about a year old. It's kinda funny.
Eden brought home the Friday folder last night and she had finished the sentence: In first grade, I want to learn... so she put "too be smart." The teacher put a smiley on it and wrote "you ARE smart!" I thought it was cute.
Finally, there has been a theft in our little world. Some Nazi stole my bumper sticker.... if you follow my political blog, check it out. I went crazy on craigslis.

A few cute moments

The other day, Kait came and stood in front of me rambling on and on about something which I wasn't honestly even trying to process. Suddenly she stopped short and looked at me puzzled. "Why DON'T you use the purse Aunt Gin made for you anymore, Mommy?" "Well, I just got kinda tired of it and needed a change." "Oh.... I think that's a good acision, but it's kinda mean." And she left.

Nick had a nap and at bed time he was not tired. He laid in my bed next to me pretending his feet were two alligagtors I suppose. The left would attack the right with a huge roar and then the right would attack the left and wrestle it down. I said "shhhhh" so the wrestling match paused then resumed in a whisper.

Eden wanted to sell her bunkbeds and the matching dresser. I had been using the dresser for my stuff but finally it sold, so as the buyers and I loaded everything into the truck, Eden urgently flagged me down. She pulled me to the side and whispered "did you get all of your panties and stuff out of there?" The child looked mortified at the thought. I got the most helpless giggles.

Nick has a habit that cannot be captured in words but I'll do my best. If a mood hits him, he will avoid your eyes and watch you serepticously. He will continue what he's doing, darting glances from the corner of his eye without expression. It seems to be his trademark skill. If he thinks something is funny, he will sometimes hold a deadpan expression as long as possible before bursting into laughter. I've seen him hold out for over a minute while Jody balanced pringles on the tip of his tounge and sucked them in like a lizard.

Here's a little funny on Jody while I'm at it. The other night the kids wanted to have a band... it's a frequent pastime. Well, Jody suddenly had one of those gut busting bouts of childhood freedom and belted a plastic drum onto himself and led a marching band around with his body hunched forward, doing his best to do drum rolls with the drumsticks attached to the sides of the drum by rope. I giggled my head off. His completely off the wall expression was just so over the top I couldn't contain myself. Perhaps most women see their husbands act this way on a regular basis, I don't know, but it definitely reminded me of Jody's alltime high which I'm quite sure he'd string me up for posting here. I guess his typically reserved personality is what makes it so shocking and hilarious in the moment.

Jody's feeling pretty good. He didn't have an easy healing. The incision became infected twice so I made him get a prescription of antibiotics and his shoulder hurts pretty fiercely. I think he needs to go to a massage therapist but I haven't made him an appointment. He hasn't argued with my idea though, so that gives me an idea of how bad it hurts.

We are still renters and we are still landlords to a house a thousand miles away. For awhile I had anxiety about finding a house during the window of lower prices but with the unemployment rate still skyrocketing, I have a feeling we have time.

Jody's surgery and recovery

This might be the dryest blog entry in my 1 1/2 year blogging history.
We flew to MSP last Wednesday and Jody's dad picked us up. Jody had tests and meetings with the doctor and surgeon on Thursday. His surgeon and doctor were wonderful. He had the surgery on Friday morning. It took about 2 1/2 hours. It took another hour and a half before he came out of recovery. Right away when we went to his room, he was joking and giving people a hard time. He was in pain, so the nurse brought morphine which knocked him out. The doctor came in and said that he had removed about 60 lymph nodes from his neck to be on the safe side and 19 had been positive for the cancer. He reminded me that this cancer can be very annoying but that Jody won't die of it. He said he can't guarantee that Jody is cancer free, but he really trusts his ultrasound people to find stuff and that as long as we monitor it, if a little tiny bit pops up here or there in the next few years, they might be able to do alcohol ablation and avoid surgery. So, we didn't get the absolute resolution we were hoping for but we trust that this doctor really knew what he was doing and had a good idea of what we were dealing with. We went home and grabbed dinner and when we got back to the hospital, Jody was awake and we stayed there until quite late waiting for the doctor to come by, but he didn't make it, so we went home very late with Nick quite sick of hanging out in a shared hospital room. The next day, Nick was oficially sick of the hospital. I took him in to see Jody in the morning and he was just nutsy, so Jerry and I told Jody we'd come back in awhile and let him nap. His mom came by soon after that so cruel, selfish mother that I am, I dropped Nick back off there with Jody and his mom and her husband while I grabbed lunch with my friend Knelly. I earnestly begged her to have her water break and go into labor in the restaraunt like in the movies but, stubborn woman that she is, she did not oblige. They said Nick had a wonderful time in the waiting room, but I still know I was being a terrible mom. At 3:30 they released Jody so I took him back to his dad's place for the night. He got a sore throat that night and woke up miserable. I made him a milkshake and he had a cup of coffee but he could barely swallow and often choked on water even. We decided to move to Jody's mom's house that day, so I had a very busy morning and his mom picked us up around 1:00. We got settled in at their place and his grandmother came for dinner. I was so glad to see her, she's one of my favorite people in the world. I wish I could just surround myself with people like her so they would rub off and I could be a better person. Jody was able to eat. His throat had gotten somewhat better. But... that night at midnight, my dear Knelly called and told me her water had broken and asked me to come since her midwife was over 2 hours away and she didn't know if it would go fast or slow. I had dreamed of miraculously squeezing her birth in to our whirlwind trip, knowing I needed to prioritize Jody over everything. Well, I thougth he was better, and that Nick was asleep and this was a prime chance for me to indulge. I dashed over to Knelly's in my p.j.'s and watched an awesome birth. I'm a junkie. If there is one addiction I have, it's birth. Not so much having babies, as being there,, for that miraculous moment when a baby slips out into the world and is greeted by the people who love it more than anyone else ever will. I dashed up and down three flights of stairs all night long and then drug myself back to the house at 7. Lo and behold, Jody is sitting at the counter, looking like death warmed over. He could barely speak. I asked how he was and he said that Nick had been up from 2 to 6. I honestly can't think of a time in Nicks life that he has spent four hours of the night awake but of course it happend on the night I left Jody's side right after a major surgery. I went and laid down, sick as a dog over what I'd put him through. I tried to justify it and tell myself all of what I should have done but I guess everyone makes poor choices sometimes. I guess if I had it to do over, I would have asked Maureen if she would be completely available to Nick during the night and not let Jody touch him. I mean, at his age, he can handle a few hours away from mom. I just felt like dirt, that Jody had shouldered that mess. His throat got worse, so we called the doc and his nurse said that it was normal and to suck on throat lozenges. His uvula was completely swollen. We got on the plane and flew home that day. We arrived at the house around 8. Gin had completely cleaned the whole house, made Jody stew with tiny soft pieces but deliciously wonderful. The children were all dressed up in their best for our homecoming and the table had a beautiful bouquet, a pound of organic hazelnut coffee, a bottle of chianti and a card signed by every child wishing Jody a speedy recovery. It was very sweet. Jody was barely able to swallow the stew but he managed. The next afternoon, I couldn't stand it anymore. I called his doc again and they put me through to him. He sat and chatted with me for at least 5 minutes, going through theories of what might be going on with Jody's throat. We decided to take him off of his Oxycontin and put him on ibuprofen and benadryl. The benadryl was my idea for the swelling... the doc really thought it was irritation from the tube in Jody's throat during surgery but agreed that the benadryl wouldn't hurt. He asked me to make sure Jody was propped up during the night and please call him the next moring at 9:00 with an update. So, we did all of the above, I got Jody to drink lots of water, I had made several fresh fruit smoothies and homemade icecream by this point. The next morning he said he was a tiny bit better so I gave him two benadryl and more ibuprofen and by the time I called the doc, Jody was sure he was a little better. Despite this brief update, the amazingly nice head surgeon of endocrine surgery at the Mayo Clinic managed to keep me on the phone for at least another five minutes, telling me how glad he was that I was in my own words "neurotic" over Jody. He said he doubted the benadryl was hurting but it probably wasn't helping. He spent all of this time debating over the thing and convincing himself again that it had to be the tube. He has to be the most compelling doctor I've ever met. I mean it. People need to realize here, that I typically detest doctors in the medical setting, though I've found many to be very nice people outside of the medical setting. I find the doctor side of them to be controlling, insulting, manipulative and suffering from a chronic superiority complex. I finally ended the conversation by telling Dr. Grant that if I didn't worship God, I would certainly worship him. He got a good laugh out of that and sealed his position in my mind of the greatest, and most humble doctor in the world. When I got off of the phone, Jody laughed and said "what was he saying all that time? It sounded like he just dragged that conversation on forever." Obviously, I just can't get over this guy. LOL! I made pancakes and Jody was able to eat them, so I knew he was better. He quit taking the benadryl for awhile and started blowing his nose and sneezing constantly which hurt his neck and shoulder terribly. It was then, that we finally realized that Jody was either having terrible allergies or a cold. He's been taking the benadryl religiously and now his throat feels great. He can turn his head to both sides. He's sleeping well at night and feeling good. All in all, a few bumps in the road for Jody but he pulled through. I wish I'd done a better job of taking care of him, but I like to think I learn pretty well from these little life experiences.

Nicholas James turns 2

My little boy, the baby is now 2. I can't call him the baby and I can't count his age in months anymore. He does still nurse himself to sleep and he still speaks Nickeneese but he's growing up before my eyes. When Daddy comes home he does an adorable little dance and chants "Dayee Dayee Dayee." Then he squats down and pops up into a standing position. He crawls all over Daddy and balances on his shoulders, trying to wiggle his love all over him. My special connection with Nick is the way he loves to bring me books and sit right in my lap and speak Nickeneese to me when I ask him what things are in the book. He often shakes his head when I ask him to say something and just points. He has this hilarious thing he does where he squints his eyes and purses his lips in a world weary expression when he knows he's been caught. Then he tips his head to the side and gives me his best smile. It's a far cry from the fearful "busted" expressions my girls have always shown when caught with their fingers in the honey jar or an opened package of rolo's in the checkout aisle at Target. Nick seems to know that if he smiles I'll just melt. Fortunately for me, he's the only one.

Yesterday was a great birthday for the little guy and I am sure I thanked Jody for agreeing to "one more" at least three times. He started the day a bit early but it got him into Mommy's bed for a little while and then Kait made him a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast. I topped it off with scrambled eggs and oj and he ate his fill. All of us spent the day singing different "Happy Birthday" songs to him and asking him to show us how old he was. He would either shake his head or say "oooono" translation "I don't know" or squint and purse his lips and walk away. Despite spending the better part of two weeks coaching, coaxing and begging, Nick never even tried to hold up two fingers and say "I'm two." That's his personality, you just can't make him. He has recently started talking about babies. It's fun. He says "beebee, beebee, beebee."
In the afternoon, we made a german chocolate cake with all three children on the kitchen counter, sneaking bites of every stage. When I tried to get the cakes out of the pan, they stuck. GRRR, but lovely little Birthday Boy was there to grab handfuls of tender warm chocolate cake and stuff them in his mouth. I still managed to put the cake together but labeled it the homliest cake I have ever made. Eden was scandalized, telling me that it looked delicious. Jody proclaimed that he'd rather have a tasty ugly cake any day. It confirmed to me that it was, in fact, the homliest cake I have EVER made, and quite tasty to boot. We made homemade pizza and homemade icecream and Nick opened his gifts. It was really, a perfect little family day. I felt that Nick's birthday was properly recognized and was fun for everyone else to boot.
In summary, we are so happy to have Nick as the littlest in our family. He makes us laugh every day, makes me want to squeeze and hug and cuddle every hour, and makes Eden and Kait want to scream every minute. Thank heaven for little boys!

My Love's in Montana and Eden's almost done with Kindergarten!

Jody had to make a little business trip to Montana this week. He called me today and I think he loves the place so much he wants to live there. Well, aside from the slow drivers. It sounds kind of like Arkansas. Lush green terrain with winding roads and people in no hurry to get anywhere anytime soon. I fell in love with Montana when I heard they're standing up for state's rights and telling the Fed's where to stick it but that's for the politico blog I suppose. Anyway, it was a short one, so we'll see him tomorrow and he had lunch with us before he left on Monday. Really it's like he was gone for all of one day. Not too bad, but I do miss the troublemaker. I told him the other day when he announced that he was going to try to sell his VP Free, that I'm going to write an entire blog entry about all of the "last" bikes he's had. The first one was cute, just cute. We were dating and he had taken a day trip up to Winter Park to go riding with a friend. He walked in with that little "bike grin" that I now know SO well and wheeled in his Jekyll 2000. He had gotten a great deal and it was his first full suspension."This bike will be all that I could ever ask or want from a bike." He told me the inches of travel and other bike lingo, something about xtr and whatnot. Three months later I see him looking at BMX bikes. Soon, he has acquired a BMX to take to the BMX track. Six months later... "I like the Jekyll, but the suspension just isn't quite enough... I bottomed out twice on my ride today." Sold the Jekyll. Next thing I know he's selling the BMX bike because he doesn't use it as much as he feels he should. Next bike was a Santa Cruz Heckler "There will never be a reason for me to get rid of this bike, I have wanted this forever." Several months later... "I really like the bike, but now that we don't live in Colorado, what I really need is something less aggressive." While still contemplating this all of a sudden one day, he bout a Giant Faith... Idk, but I think the Giant Faith was a little more agressive than the Heckler.... Now he had two bikes and took the Faith to Colorado for a good test run. Decided it wasn't the bike for him and sold the Giant. Now I'm getting fuzzy and it's weird because I'm coming up on more recent events. All I know is there is a dented bike frame from a bike that Jody loved. I can't remember if it was the Heckler or another bike alltogether. At any rate, we were heading to Colorado for a trip while living in MN and low and behold we hadn't gotten the bike rack pin in correctly and the whole thing came down WHACK on the interstate going about 70 MPH. It put a huge whammy in the frame of the... Heckler, that just seems wrong. I think it might have been a different Santa Cruz. Well, he sold all of the parts off of the frame and hung the frame on the wall and was completely bikeless for over a year. It was probably, in my estimation, the most emasculating experience of his life. We came home to Colorado, the home of Mountain biking... and he got the Santa Cruz VP Free... that was a happy man. You could not wipe the "bike grin" off of the man's face. I felt so free... Jody had a bike again, the greatest bike in the world. The ultimate bike... but alas, he couldn't use it for commuting to work, so he found a nice little commuter and then... announced to me.... that he is going to sell the VP Free because he doesn't ride it enough and he's going to take his time and get something different. I have now concluded, that it isn't about getting the perfect bike, it's about the hunt, getting to ride something different, and he can't claim that he wants something better anymore because he knows he has the best. Of course, this whole ramble is just to give the best man in the world a little hard time. I mean, after all, he is the man who moved 6 couches in and out of this house for ME in the last 9 months. That's love, tolerance and devotion there. Course it paid for the girls gymnastics so there's that too. LOL!
Anyway, we're just tuggin along, trying to wrap up our school year and today was no different. Eden's teacher sent me the upteenth email to tell me I had not done something I was supposed to. I am a teacher's worst nightmare. I forget to sign permission slips. I forget to put the Friday folder back in her bag on Monday. I forget to tell the teacher whether or not to add her to the headcount for pizza. I forget to return the library book on the specified day. I forget to take the "show and tell" item, as a matter of fact it's quite hard for me to locate the "show and tell" list so I know what "the theme" is. I forget the homework until the night before it is due and then make poor Eden slug through her whole week of matching, coloring and sentence writing in one night. I am horrid at being a school parent. Horrid. I mean well and always want to do things and participate in the classroom but I'm just a mess. Next year, I will have a day planner. I will leave it open to the next day every night before bed and I will have EVERYTHING in one place. It will be the beginning of the new me. I can just see it. Me, gliding into the girls room in the morning and gazing at their laid out clothes with pride as I gently open the shades and allow the sunshine to awaken their adorable little tow heads while I gently pad into Nicks room and gather his happiness into my arms and tug on his laid out clothing for the day. Because after all, in this fantasy, I kept track of the weather forecast and there is no need for me to dash downstairs and start the computer while simutaneously turning Jody's TV on and madly searching for the weather channel with no clue whether I'll get to weather.com or the local forecast on the news while the clock ticks and all children are still in bed with their usually clean but not folded laundry in various locations throughout the house and no thought in my mind as to where I will find a presentable shirt for Eden to wear without adornment as her dress code stipulates. No, in this fantasy of 1st grade, I will have TEN shirts for her to choose from and a little hanging stacker in her closet with days of the week on it, where she can proudly organize a whole weeks worth of clothes on a Sunday evening after our DAILY devotional and she has done her DAILY flossing and brushing. First grade will be phenonmenal. While the children naturally rise from their beds at 7:00, I'll be in the kitchen whipping up scones and bacon or waffles and scrambled eggs with fresh squeezed orange juice and a bowl of berries for good measure. As my shining children enter the kitchen (having remembered to go the bathroom BEFORE sitting down to eat) they will glow with happiness that I have made them a beautiful breakfast, there will be no "oh, blackberry scones, I had hoped you would bake blueberry..." The beauty of 1st grade will not end there. As the deadline for getting to the car approaches, from my fabulously organized coat closet I will be able to pull hats, mittens, coats and snow boots if necessary without tripping over the vacuum cleaner or the yoga mats or even the tool kit that has lost all of it's useful tools and I will snug each child into their cozy winter gear without a memory of slamming my poor baby in his jommies into his carseat with a blankie and his half finished cereal that I have poured most of the milk out of so he won't scream all the way to the school while dashing back and forth looking for my other two, one who can't find a shoe, the other who can't get the sleeve right side out in her jacket, the left hand pink mitten is missing and all she can find is her little brother's red one. And finally, in the new world of 1st grade, when we get into the car, I will have remembered to stock her bag with a snack, her water bottle and whatever various and sundry items the teacher has requested. I will not get halfway to the school before I realize my middle child is still struggling with her seatbelt, grunting and moaning completely unheard by my befuddled mind still clouded with the lack of tea and dreading the return home when I finally take the tea bag out that has been steeping for at least a half an hour. 1st grade will be phenomenal! I just know it.

Kaitlyn Belle

For four years we've had the pleasure of sharing our life with Kaitlyn Belle, aka Kaity Kat, Peanut and Kay Kay. She is a bundle of energy. Typically telling everyone what to do, how to do it and when and where. She thinks she can do anything and often does everything she can to not have to do anything. LOL. I can't believe she has dimples and that amazing little white streak in the front of her hair. The button nose and high apples on her cheeks don't do the kid bad either. Sometimes I think that God was having such a good time designing Kait that he just kept adding another touch here or there for distinction and beauty. I do regret cutting her hair. I loved that long blonde hair with the curling tendrils on the ends. The bob is cute, but the long amazing shining hair was better.
Today she was playing with Nick and I overheard "Ladies and Boys and Gentlemen!"
Another hilarious but dangerous characteristic is the way she makes outrageous things up and tells them as fact. "Daddy, did you know Chinese people hold their hands like this?" "No, I didn't." "Well, they do, Grandma told me so."
Eden and I might be speculating on a subject that neither of us know the answer to, like rare animal facts. Kait will instantly jump in with something completely outrageous claiming she saw it on Animal Planet or that a highly credible source told her so. I wish I could remember a specific incident but my mind is slightly fuzzy this evening. The remainder of her mandatory million words per day are made up of telling me what she is doing and why every second. "Because" and "otherwise" are her bywords. Her diatribes are elaborate, telling me everything she pretended to say to someone when she was playing babies upstairs. She tells me what she's going to say to people and what she thinks their answers will be. She is stubborn, generous and willful. She pours herself into what she does, whether it's her gymnastics, riding her strider, sneaking up behind Nick and picking him up and squeezing him until he screams like a girl or wearing herself completely out trying to tell Eden and Nick what to do, what to say and where and how to do it. At the end of a day, Kaitlyn never tells me she isn't tired. She has lived her day to the fullest and is ready to rest. It's great. It's really awful that I can't tell people stories about her when she's around because she becomes furious, thinking we're making fun of her. Her vocabulary rocks my world and when I try to tell stories about it, she thinks we think it's funny instead of amazing.
My Kaity Belle is four and it's been a great ride. I remember that day. The one when I thought I might be in labor and the she shot into the world with a velocity that took my breath away. Thank God we had planned a home birth because Kait had already decided to be a home birth herself. She's a tornado with a sensitivity that suprises and an imagination that I've never seen in a child before or since. I'm so glad that God makes children each special and different. It makes parenting so exciting, rewarding and fulfilling. I still agonize that I don't know what to be when I grow up but at least I'll always know that I lived these years, planting flowers with my children, watching their first steps, congratulating each new word, savoring their smell, holding them in my arms each day, sharing kisses, sharing stories, hide and seek, trips to the park, watching them instead of the animals at the zoo, and of course celebrating each birthday and using it as a day to look back on all of the joy they have brought me and all of the facets they've added to the beauty of our family as they mature and metamorphasize into little people.
Happy Birthday to my Peanut!

Ahhhhh

I feel so good right now. Jody's doctor had a checkup for him and said he had more cancer and sent him in for a PET scan which revealed only a couple of lymph nodes in his neck, and recommended another surgery. I am so relieved that's all there was and we have a clear picture of where we're at. Next step is to get a second opinion at Mayo Clinic and most likely schedule the surgery or treatment there. Jody's surgeon here didn't get all of the cancer out AND he was a complete jerk to me for no apparent reason. Jody says he has small man syndrome, which the endocrinologist said a little nicer. He called him Napoleon. All I know is I don't want to give him any more business.
One more thing, I'm not feeling very loquatious but this morning Kait said the funniest thing. She came down stairs and told me that she woke up and tried to lay there for a while but she was just feeling more and more "wrestless" (she said it like wrestle with ess on it) so she got up and came down stairs. Hilarious!

How do I know?

How do I know that I have been a mother for six and a half years?
1.The other day I casually mentioned to Jody that the dryer didn't seem to be getting the clothes dry... I couldn't imagine what was wrong. The next day he came to me and said "Did you say the dryer had a problem?" "Yes!" I replied. "Well, it might have something to do with the fact that there was about enough lint for 10 loads in the screen."
2. On the day we went onto daylight saving's time, I actually convinced myself that the clocks were all wrong and picked Eden up 1 hour late from school. How cringingly embrarrasing.
3. The other day I was making peanut butter cookies with the girls. I completed the recipe and stood there stirring what looked like pie filling. I stirred it... studied the recipe, stirred it, grabbed the flour and dumped about a half a cup in, stirred it... continued to stare in perplexity trying to imagine my self putting puddles of peanut butter "filling" onto a cookie sheet. Finally I crossed the room to grab my tea out of the microwave and found my bowl of dry ingredients. "What the!!!!!" I dumped them into the batter and made cookies.
How do we as mother's get to this point? It's like we're beyond thinking. We live on autopilot and all reasoning skills are bypassed. I truely feel like, if I lose track of things for five minutes the whole day blows up. I might forget we need to go to gymnastics, I might forget to thaw meat for dinner, I might (heaven forbid) forget to pick Eden up from school. It's this continual grasping for what I'm supposed to do next and a blank feeling that I can't even process the babble of my great kids. How do we get through the day, enjoy it, savor the sweet moments and get everything done? And finally, for the truely daring, how do I get my house organized and remember everyone's birthdays a week early so I can send a card? It sounds so far beyond my limited skills that it makes me tremble.

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Scones for dinner

Yesterday Jody had to work interminably late. We decided we wanted scones and scrambled eggs for dinner. As the girls and I prepared to make the scones, Kaitlyn and I had a rather entertaining conversation. Ethan has a rat named Emmy.
Kaitlyn: Emmy is a strange name for a rat.
Mommy: Well, I think it's kind of strange for a boy rat.
Kaitlyn: No, it's a strange name for a rat.
Mommy: What would be a good name for a rat?
Kaitlyn: For a girl, I'd name her Flower. For a boy I'd name him John.
Mommy: Flower and John huh? That would be appropriate I suppose.
The scones were yummy and everyone slept well last night. Now, on March 26th we're having our first snow day of the year at school. Eden has been outside since she woke up. No breakfast, she just bundled up and headed out. I spoke with her at one point and she was covered in snow. I said "it actually looks like you've been rolling in the snow" which was an inconceivable thought to me. She just gave a quick nod and smiled. Yes, we are related I think... As the years pass, I wonder ever increasingly if in fact they did switch her at birth. I don't have that luxury with the other two since they were born at home and there wasn't anyone to switch them with.
Nicholas is upstairs right now plaintively hollering "mommy, mommy, mommy" so I guess I'm done for today.

Pics of the girls on their bikes

Spring is sprung

Well, the crocuses are blooming and the kids are riding bikes. I guess it's spring and thank goodness. We realized a few weeks ago that Eden has grown out of her dear Rosie bike. It was a bit of a sad realization but I promptly found her a bright purple replacement on Craigslist for $50. It was one year old and a very high end mountain bike that we could never have afforded retail. Jody picked it up and left it at our friend Luke's house while we looked for Kait's. We heard about the new thing for teaching kids to ride a bike. It's called a run bike and it's really short with no pedals so they learn to balance first, then you move them to a bike with pedals. I looked for one of those on Craigslist for Kait for a couple of weeks and then gave up and put up a wanted ad. A lady emailed me within 24 hours and sold us one for $50 again. Well, Jody was teasing Eden one night and asked her what color she wanted her new bike to be and she immediately said "PURPLE". Well, it's not exactly surprising with a little girl but it was kinda nice since that's exactly what we had found! Kaitlyn also requested a girly color but Jody explained to her that we really needed to find a neutral color and put girly stickers on it so we can hand it down to Nick and change the stickers. She thought about it for a few days and then came to him and told him that she was fine with a white bike. So, we had both bikes and Jody spent a late night getting them all clean and shiny. Yesterday he came home for lunch to suprise the girls. We were in the kitchen and heard the garage door opening so they knew he was here and everyone went running out through the garage door. Eden was in the lead and ran right past her shiny purple bike into her Daddy's arms. Kait was in the rear and paused at the top of the stairs paralyzed by the sight of the little run bike. She had a hesitant smile on her face so Eden turned and saw the run bike which was leaning against her purple bike and said "oh, cool strider for Kait!" Everyone just stood staring at Eden and then she finally noticed her purple bike. She was truely shocked. Later I asked her if her bike had a bell with it or if Daddy had moved the old one from Rosie. She promptly replied that he had moved it, she checked! I laughed and told her she had a pretty amazing Daddy. Eden's enormous eyes shined and she said "I have the best Daddy in the whole world. He's not that strong though..." I said "what?" She replied "well that's what he says all the time, that he isn't very strong." So, thank goodness he's the greatest dad and the most modest. ;-) Kaitlyn is slowly warming to her run bike but finds it a little intimidating. We're letting her take her time. Eden is zooming at high speeds on "Iris". Thank goodness she's religious about her elbow pads, knee pads and helment.
Nick is still talking Nickese. We understand "car, ball, bar, berries, mama, light and more. The rest is pure gibberish and it drives Jody nuts. He keeps asking me when Nick is going to start talking, as if I have any idea.
The girls are tumbling their hearts out in gymnastics. It's so fun to watch them. They point their little toes and hold themselves in the most fantastic posture as they practice the beam, trampoline, bars and floor exercizes. Eden can do a handstand! Kaitlyn can do hops on the beam! It's neat.
We're preparing for a big trip to Arkansas over spring break. We'll be in Mountain Home for three days and Cabot for three days. Hopefully we'll have a big family barbque while we're down there and see as much family as possible.

Professional Photos Spring 09

These looked alot better after they were cropped. But these are still cute!

This should relieve some people~ ;-)

I've created a new blog for my ranting. If you want the address, let me know. Otherwise, feel free and safe to continue visiting my blog for updates on my kiddo's and darling Anmchara.
Elizabeth

Ophelia

On Saturday morning, my grandmother, Ophelia Hurst Davis went to be with her Lord and Savior. Grandma was an amazing woman. Many people say such of their grandmothers and I suppose they mean it, but I know it of her. She was a depression child with poor health that missed so much school it took a very long time for her to finish highschool. She never drove a car and lived most of her life without a toilet or a shower in her home. She raised six daughters on her own after doing what I consider a truely courageous thing. When her youngest daughter was 2, she divorced their father who had committed a horrible sin against her and her children. I do not condone divorce and she didn't even believe in divorce but when faced with no other choice, she did that which was never done in her society. She bore it as a mark on her for the rest of her life and of course never remarried. She suffered from many health problems but followed her instincts and her passion for knowledge and was able to live independently long past the time that most people thought she would ever live. She was an irascible and strong headed woman. If I described her in a word, I would have to say tenacious. She had a little spring on her 35 acres and believed it to be the healing waters and somehow pumped it into her house with a ram pump. As a small child, I spent countless hours at her house with my siblings and cousins. We played in the creek and broke into the old school house up the road and wrote on the chalkboard with old broken pieces of sheetrock playing school. We helped her with countless strange little chores that we didn't really understand the process of, like putting little branches and sticks in her driveway to prevent erosion. Every time someone visited her, they were given explicit instructions on exactly what she wanted them to do while they were there. I think she sat and planned every minute for me before I arrived. I remember being up in her apple tree picking each apple that she told me to. I carried hundreds of pounds of apples up to her living room, wondering what in the world she would ever do with them all. She, of course, sent more home with me than I knew what to do with either. I never visited her without demanding she make her special biscuits in a pan on the stove. She made the most amazing watermelon rhine pickles in the world. I saw some at a farmers market one day and my mouth watered. When I got them home, I realized that just because they call them that, doesn't mean they are going to be just like grandma's. She once told me she would like me to write the story of how she named her daughters. I wanted to so badly and we never did it. All I ever found out was that she wanted the name to be "The Six Little Peppers."
Over the years I've learned many things that she tried to tell me all along. RAW almonds are very good for you. Black walnut icecream and cheerios are the perfect dessert. Vinegar is an amazing cure-all. The Word of God is indispensable and life without it would not be worth living. She taught me to make dolls out of gourds and vinegar bottles. She taught me to make strings of paper dolls. She sat in front of her stove with me, letting me open her junk mail and giving me cherry vitamin-c's as a treat. She reminded me to sing to my children and share the Word with them. She bossed her whole family around, accused us of wilder things than I can imagine and yet never had to watch a soap opera for inspiration. She gave me a half of a stick of DoubleMint gum every time I saw her and never stopped clipping newspaper items for me and giving every bit of advice I would listen to. She wasn't perfect and she tended to drive all of her daughters batty but at the end of her life I can honestly say, right or wrong about all of the little things, she loved us all, and lived a life to live up to in many ways. I know I could have been a better granddaughter and spent more time with her. I know I should have written more letters, sent flowers and showed my love for the part she played in my life but I didn't. I take my comfort in the fact that she will live on in me in a million little ways and I'll pass it on to my own children. God bless my hard working grandmother who can finally rest with her savior and feel no more pain.
Finally I will share the last "clipping" she sent to me. I meant to have the pastor share it at her funeral but failed.

A Million Souls
A Million Souls for Christ our Lord,
A Million Souls a day;
Be this our goal, our heart's desire,
For this we humbly pray.

Today the world has learned to read,
No longer dare we wait;
The let us go from door to door
And witness ev'ry day.

He bade us go to all the world
And ev'ry creature, too;
Then will He not enable us
His blessed will to do?

He calls us to a great crusade,
No matter what the cost;
A million souls must be our goal,
Each day to reach the lost.
Oswald J. Smith

She wrote "A great preacher and writer " at the bottom.

Some pics of the boyo

Nick and I trekked to Arkansas for my Grandma's funeral. I got a few shots with the family while we were there.

Dear America,

It is almost offical. Your future generations now have a mortgage of 1.5 trillion dollars to deal with thanks to President Bush and President Obama. If you are a "gimmie" person, you're in luck, pick your favorite topic, get in line and hold out both hands, "Money Express" has arrived! You can get money for anything from buying a house or car to getting a tv converter box. If you're a crooked CEO for a large corporation, it's in the bank, Uncle Sams bank that is. Are you concerned about government workers driving cars that aren't "green"? Put your fears to rest, they will all have new cars soon and they will be "green"! Wanna get a tax refund even though you never paid taxes in 2009? You are in! Wondering what the exact Census report for 2010 will be? No worries, not a borrowed penny will be spared in this very important process. Just try not to focus on the fact that we are stealing bread from our grandchildrens mouths. If you are like my family, on the other hand and just want to have a job and hang on to your property value, I just don't know what to tell you. If you're hoping they've budgeted money to find the villans that ran away with all of your 401K, think twice. That money is gone and nobody even seems interested in talking about it. If you don't want a hand out, and want to work, save money and provide your children with education and the hope of an entreprenurial country, I'm sorry but that's just not where we live anymore.The days of financial giants falling is over. Lord knows why, we all know that where one falls, another smarter and better one takes it's place. America is, work hard, hand over your money to the government and don't even bother to hope they will spend it wisely. So, if you wonder how this will impact our country long term, you have two options. 1.We will have crushing taxes, a terrible depression and feel imobilized for a very long time... not likely. 2.Taxes will stay the same, hyper inflation will occur due to the depreciation of our dollar, thanks to our China loans and our children's children will live in oppresion. That's where we're at. Yes President Obama, you are right, I am scared. No, I'm not scared of failure, I'm not afraid of scratching my way through a few years of hard times. I'm scared of the legacy my generation is leaving. I am very scared. This is another "New Deal" and the last one didn't work. What works is private enterprises that are accountable to the law. All I'm trying to calculate is how many generations away from complete Communism we are. Oh and off topic, but how long until Congress votes for another raise for themselves? Anyone want to hazard a guess at that?On the upside, the economic downturn has revolutionized the way my family lives. We are living more frugally, avoiding incurring debt, selling things we don't need, thinking things through before we spend and just generally living in a way that would heal our country if it took off. If banks weren't over extended with home loans, car loans, credit card loans, student loans and a ton of other stuff people have no idea how they will ever pay for, they would be able to extend reasonable loans for reasonable requests. The gluttony of America cannot be fixed with a loan from China spent on government programs that just give $$ to unemployed people instead of creating jobs for them (that is a presumption, I have no idea where the 800 billion is coming from). It's just ridiculous. There needs to be a cultural change.