My first ever ba humbug Christmas

I have this beautiful family. I'm blessed beyond words, and yet... I sit here acknowledging that I am a complete Scrooge this Christmas. I guess there's nothing more to say. I hope the kids remember it fondly in spite of the fact that their parents were completely non-compliant to a memorable Christmas. How do you hold on to the magic year after year, with problem after problem arising? How do you put on a smile for your kids and help them keep track of how many more days it is until Jesus's birthday when you just can't wait for it to be over? Every day I'm trying to make myself pack at least three boxes. I know full well, that I'm nowhere close to being packed and I have four days left. I'm just overwhelmed and can't concentrate on anything... not even my blog. I'm at complete peace now about the move. I have made a final surrender and it feels better. I know that ultimately we will wind up living where God wants us to. I believe he's speaking to Jody even if he doesn't know it. It doesn't feel good to think about my whole family down in Arkansas celebrating Christmas. I haven't been down there with the whole crowd for Christmas in six years... or is it seven? Perhaps next year. Somebody told me it would make me feel better to think that... but it doesn't.