Lift Off

As Jody and I sally forth in life with our arms locked and our shoulders squared, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are walking across the palm of God and he has marked our path for us. So, while sometimes one of us feels like a foot gets stuck in between his fingers or that the wavy print of his hands are too bumpy (maybe that's why I've been so queasy lately), I must thankfully acknowledge, that it's a close, familiar and special, even Holy place we tread. I'm overwhelmed when looking back over the last few years, seeing so clearly how God has held us, spoken to us and used us. It has been a much better journey than the one people walk down there on the cold hard ground. I think I can remember the day we stepped off of the ground and into his hand. Well, I'll speak for myself, I tend to assume that Jody always feels exactly the same way I do because he does more than half... but anyway... Fear had a clincher hold on us of with all of that stuff we were going through and God put a picture in my mind of us sleeping in our bed and it was sitting in His hand. His other one was smoothing our covers. I guess that was the moment of "lift off."
I'm pregnant. When we found out, it might be an understatement to say that we were extremely upset that things were NOT going our way. Just to clarify why, I'd like to reference my 2005 Christmas letter where I lined out that we had been blessed with a second daughter and were happy that Gods plans had so far coincided with ours and we hoped for a little boy someday to make our family complete. You may then reference the 2007 Christmas letter in which Nicholas (the little boy) arrived. You can imagine our shock that God had not wrapped up his family plan for us when we did. Nick will be four in June... Jody and I even looked to heaven and asked God if he just didn't even like us, in our selfish moment of "BUT WE WERE DONE!" I wallowed in this self pity/God loathing state for a few weeks... several weeks... much to the bemusement and even dismay of my closest friends, but alas it came time to read James and reconcile. This is the only proven method in my life for receiving constructive criticism. I have granted James a special authority but I suspect it's because he's dead and his book is short. Some little excerpts: "God blesses the people who patiently endure testing." Made me think of this little peanut inside of me right now because I always hear "it's a blessing, it's a blessing, it's a blessing." Then down a little further "Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God above who created all of heavens lights." Ah, what could be more "good and perfect" than a little baby, hand made by God for our family? The part in between talked about the danger of blaming God for tempting you when you want to do something wrong. Something wrong... something wrong... like considering a pregnancy anything but a joyous sovereign gift from heaven to be celebrated and going so far as to ask God if it's a mean trick? See, I like it when James sticks it to me. I must be sick... but anyway. Alrighty then! So yeah, that's what we signed up for when we stepped off of the the cold hard ground and onto the living palm of God. Plans that were not our own and ways that are not our ways. We've kinda got our "palm legs" though. We can roll with it.
So, to the wonderful little person inside of me, if you ever read this blog, you've blessed me already and I've only known about you for a few weeks. You will be an amazing person I know, and I consider it pure bonus that God used you to help me become the woman He wants me to be.