Haters gonna hate

I spend too much time reading opinion pieces. It's kind of a little way I challenge myself. Not really to see if they can make me agree nearly as much as to see if their stump has purpose and if I can like them regardless of their message. What it seems like I see in an increasingly strident voice is a demand for change in people's hearts. Seriously? When did that ever work? So I'm just going to say it #blacklivesmatter #supportlgbt #99% #syrianrefugees #therealdonaldtrump... a lot of you have great hearts but you've missed the point. We cannot force morality of any version on everyone. Any time we resort to manipulation, righteous judgement, riots, angry marches, guilt trips or lecturing we have already lost. You may not want to hear it but you and I are more similar than you want to think. You see, we both have creeds, strong beliefs, passions, the welfare of the vulnerable and regrettably,  a tendency towards force. We have the desire to force because we are human. What I've realized in my short meandering life is that handing someone a spanking in a debate never brings the reward that serving someone in need does. Setting an expectation of a society doesn't bring satisfaction like extending grace undeserved. And now I will address the "you don't understand" comeback. I grew up in a double wide with a melting particle board floor. I rode in 20-40 year old vehicles with holes in the floor and sometimes rusty gas tanks. I had one bra that I hand washed so it would last. I got called lots of names, from hick, to hillbilly, redneck, lesbian, whore, bitch and even annoyingly though harmlessly halfpint and shorty because I never grew to an average size. I was never popular or pretty or by the worlds standards extraordinary in any way. And in highschool I got the shit beat out of me until it hurt to walk and I was black and blue by the meanest girl I've ever laid eyes on. I grew up without air conditioning in the south and lived on a farm hauling hay until I was so hot I got sick. Then I worked at a fruit stand sitting in the sizzling heat all day. Then in an office as the lowliest employee who had to do everything nobody wanted to do. I remember being lambasted because someone else had to wash out the coffee pots and it was beneath them. And then called into the wealthy president of the company's office to discuss my inappropriate t-shirt being worn in business casual office while he knew very well I made half the money of the rest of the employees. 99%ers this one is for you. I loved that boss and I was proud to work for him. He challenged me to RISE! I went home and changed into a lightly stained button down on my lunch break and purposed to try harder albeit with a bitter taste in my mouth. It didn't feel fair but that's what pushes you on.  I had no college degree nor was I in school to become something because I was so tired from working two jobs I just didn't have the energy. I was just crawling along driving my dodge neon home to my slightly creepy apartment with a crazy cat lady roommate and grungy carpet. Does any of this sound familiar? I will spare you the devastation of crashing my car and going on foot for weeks while trying to save up my deductible for repairs. I guess my great privilege came when I married a guy who had crawled his way along getting knocked down over and over by hardships and heartbreaks much worse than my own in many ways but who pressed on with strength rarely witnessed and provided for me to be a "stay at home mom with no education" which half of America disdains. So, maybe I haven't experienced the hardest stuff, maybe being black is just a whole lot harder, but I've been judged, worked in the heat doing full manual labor, been beat up and treated like a servant and a second class citizen. And I say so what. Because thank GOD their problems are not my job. Besides, their treatment of me is NOT my identity and I have no urge to change the people who mistreated me. It was a journey to let those offenses go. Now I want to change the way I respond to mean people because they will never go away. I do try to surround myself with a different kind of people but that might not always be possible. And in all honesty even the dearest people I surround myself with will not "support" everything I believe in and do nor should they. LGBTer's that's for you. I can and do very strongly respect and love you but I won't support your mission. Authenticity and integrity are so much more valuable to me than approval of other people. If I were only friends with people who supported my pro-life passion and changed their Facebook profiles to show it, I would be rather lonely but it's a huge part of who I am and I show it proudly. In light of the inevitability of haters, I've read books about dealing with conflict. Because people are mean. And let me tell you, if they hate you because you're black or poor or Syrian, they probably hate me because I'm conservative or another person because they are rich or gay or pretty or fat. Hate is a poison that often starts with a seed of anger. Beware, because a lot of you seem dangerously angry.  Hate is a pity. America should call it a poverty that evil exists but reacting in anger continues the cycle of hate. So the next time you want to get on a stump about anything, show love and teach people like MLKJr did. "You'll catch more bees with honey than vinegar." 

They say the deepest need of every human is to be understood. Unfortunately human nature and individual experiences makes that something we may only ever truly receive from God. Mayhap that was His intention all along.