What Will the Kids Remember?

I'm going to cut to the chase. I don't care. Well, I care but it really shouldn't matter because I have no earthly idea or control over what the kids remember. They already reminisce to me about the weirdest stuff. Honestly, I know I shouldn't sit down and write a blog about why everyone should be motivated by selfishness and yet I feel like I have to and as everyone knows, I always do whatever crazy thing I feel like I HAVE to do.  I might wash your feet. I might take the kids to ice-cream and make them tardy for school. I might buy matching scarves with you in a grocery store just so we have a physical memory of being together. I might give you a piece of copy paper for your birthday. I might prostrate myself before God and pray for you and never tell you about it. I might buy you a used jacket you never knew you wanted. I might take you on a surprise trip to San Francisco. I might buy you a dining set just for the chairs. When the MUST hits me, I just let it flow. So here's my message about the necessity of selfishness.  A question we really need to ask is "What do I want to remember and how can I make that happen?" I've been doing it for awhile on my blog and Facebook but every single time I see one of the things I recorded that I would have forgotten it's like finding a loose diamond on the living room floor. I was checking my calendar the other day and on December 15th I found something that wasn't an appointment. It was a message from me to me. It said "One year ago you sat on a couch (I should have specified which couch) with wine, pandora and a puppy by a beautiful tree." I stared at that message and said "hello Elizabeth from last year!" I don't remember you and I don't remember that moment but I know I wanted to at the time so thanks for the message!" I think this really really helps fight guilt. Guilt over wasting time, guilt over not giving, being, doing. If you can't even give yourself an evening of pandora wine and puppy, that is what you should feel guilty about because all of the giving and doing doesn't come from your heart because it's not full.