At the beginning of summer I had narrowed it down to one goal. Just go hiking with the kids a couple times a week and embrace nature. I added plant identification guides to my Amazon cart and the whole plan derailed right there. Eden said it sounded miserable, Nick was averse to waking up early and we all know how long Hazels legs are. Kait was of course my only ally. I just don't feel like a mountain mover anymore. Kids are hard. You lose your edge, passion, vision, fire and ultimately energy in the day to day grind. But somewhere in the back of my mind Kara Tippets was talking about how badly she wished she was well enough to make her kids lunches. And there was this prick behind my eyelids as I was reminded that my time here parenting my little people often feels like my dads precious golden honey is running through my fingers and I don't know how to save it, contain it and direct it. I did not rise up like Joan of Arc and save my summer plan. We did not go hiking even once a week. I never ordered my plant field guides. And it makes me sad. But like I said to Eden tonight, as long as we are on a trajectory that moves us in the right direction, I am content.
We made it up a trail on Saturday. If I were to torture you with the fine details of what kind of mountains I moved to get my kids up there you would be literally nauseated but I persevered and it was a fantastic experience.
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