If the whole world worried about being a narcissist because they like to write about their life then we'd have no stories to read.
Hello old three friends who used to read my blog, I'm back. Possibly temporarily. Possibly sporadically. Possibly permanently. I had to take a hiatus because I lost my self confidence for awhile. You missed some really good stories because someone belittled my writing and I acted like a third grader about it. I'm finally over it. Sorry.
I'm 39 years old if anyone is still counting and Tuesday I'll start a two year interior design program at the community college. That looks just as underwhelming as I thought it would. But in my world it's huge. It's the kind of thing I've watched people do my whole life that I just couldn't bring myself to do. My early adulthood is dotted with almosts. I returned to high school for the express purpose of getting a real diploma and taking the ACT and getting into a college. I skipped my appointment to take the ACT and then dropped out of high school. I then took the GED and scored very well. The state of Arkansas had a special grant for people to go to college if they scored that well. Instead, I hopped on a bus and moved to Colorado. Now I was a new resident with no instate tuition options. I worked for two years in Colorado and then visited the community college and took a placement test. I never went back and registered. I honestly can't put my finger on what always stopped me but I told people it was because I didn't know what I wanted to do. And now I do know what I want to do. And I bounce in to work every day and fly through my terrible, monotonous, exhausting job because they're going to pay for my education. It makes me so happy I could burst.
I actually can't even bring myself to share most of what I traversed to come to this point. We all know I tend to spill my guts about everything but 2018 was more, it ripped me to shreds from the inside out. Fortunately, my whole family is still alive and intact. God is really good to us. I'm no athlete but getting to the point that I registered for classes was like doing hurdles for a year. Really big hurdles with short legs. Lots of mishaps and humanity on display. Ultimately, my take away from all of that was that God needed to toughen me up. And I feel tougher. Physically, I've pushed through excruciating pain and held down a very physical job without taking time off. Mentally, I've overcome making decisions or becoming immobilized from making decisions based on other peoples opinions. Spiritually I've come to a place of talking to Jesus a lot more regularly than I used to. Emotionally, I've learned to shut off the drama and let it go. I'm sure it's just the same thing most women go through as they get close to 40 but for me it's time. It's just totally time.
So here we go. Hopefully I come back through this year to share tidbits of how this experiment plays out. How will I do working at 3 am, going to school, parenting four kids including two teenagers and being a wife and home maker? Some things will definitely fall through the cracks like cleaning and cooking but I truly hope I can juggle these commitments and still keep my people number one.
Hello old three friends who used to read my blog, I'm back. Possibly temporarily. Possibly sporadically. Possibly permanently. I had to take a hiatus because I lost my self confidence for awhile. You missed some really good stories because someone belittled my writing and I acted like a third grader about it. I'm finally over it. Sorry.
I'm 39 years old if anyone is still counting and Tuesday I'll start a two year interior design program at the community college. That looks just as underwhelming as I thought it would. But in my world it's huge. It's the kind of thing I've watched people do my whole life that I just couldn't bring myself to do. My early adulthood is dotted with almosts. I returned to high school for the express purpose of getting a real diploma and taking the ACT and getting into a college. I skipped my appointment to take the ACT and then dropped out of high school. I then took the GED and scored very well. The state of Arkansas had a special grant for people to go to college if they scored that well. Instead, I hopped on a bus and moved to Colorado. Now I was a new resident with no instate tuition options. I worked for two years in Colorado and then visited the community college and took a placement test. I never went back and registered. I honestly can't put my finger on what always stopped me but I told people it was because I didn't know what I wanted to do. And now I do know what I want to do. And I bounce in to work every day and fly through my terrible, monotonous, exhausting job because they're going to pay for my education. It makes me so happy I could burst.
I actually can't even bring myself to share most of what I traversed to come to this point. We all know I tend to spill my guts about everything but 2018 was more, it ripped me to shreds from the inside out. Fortunately, my whole family is still alive and intact. God is really good to us. I'm no athlete but getting to the point that I registered for classes was like doing hurdles for a year. Really big hurdles with short legs. Lots of mishaps and humanity on display. Ultimately, my take away from all of that was that God needed to toughen me up. And I feel tougher. Physically, I've pushed through excruciating pain and held down a very physical job without taking time off. Mentally, I've overcome making decisions or becoming immobilized from making decisions based on other peoples opinions. Spiritually I've come to a place of talking to Jesus a lot more regularly than I used to. Emotionally, I've learned to shut off the drama and let it go. I'm sure it's just the same thing most women go through as they get close to 40 but for me it's time. It's just totally time.
So here we go. Hopefully I come back through this year to share tidbits of how this experiment plays out. How will I do working at 3 am, going to school, parenting four kids including two teenagers and being a wife and home maker? Some things will definitely fall through the cracks like cleaning and cooking but I truly hope I can juggle these commitments and still keep my people number one.
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