There will be bumps

Tonight I went to Old Mine with my chum Jenny. I love her. I think we've always known each other. As a matter of fact, I'm often surprised that I'm telling her something she doesn't know about me. I would like to say it's because we were best friends in a former life but I don't believe in reincarnation. So, I will settle for the explanation that God made our souls to know one another. I barely knew her seven years ago and I don't remember why I had her number but I remember thinking she would help me and called he when I was out of gas. Incidentally, she wasn't able to help me that day but the point was I remember feeling confident of her character without really knowing her. After that, I ran into her everywhere and it was always timely. I'd feel this relief seeing a familiar face in a new town.  We both noticed it. There was no coincidence and we knew it. We casually jumped into that friendship like people do when stars align and it was great. God smiled and Satan got busy. Those things go hand in hand. There was the happy perfect memory phase for a few years then the doubts. When that started, I would get too close and see Satans mirages then back up and see Gods hands. I don't know what sabotaged it entirely but something shook the trust. Then I quit. I doubted the friendship and gave up. It was an elephant in the room that I didn't want to face but thankfully the truth won.  She was my sweet potato roll buddy. The one who saw me drunk more than sober (but it was her fault). The one who laughed about my husband frustrations with true soul. The one who welcomed me to my new home with cookies. The one who made my hair pretty and cut it and dyed it and fed me tomato soup or wine all at the same time. The one who let me freak out about a fourth pregnancy and took pictures of my fabulous baby being born. The one who went to breakfast with me the day I found out Dad had a giant tumor. My muse for every philosophical blog written. The one who listened and listened and listened. As I relived this beautiful organic journey I like to call a very special friendship, God told me something about friendship that has changed my perspective forever. He said this special friendship was a gift to do with as I pleased. It was an arresting and weighty thought. We are here with opportunities to share life... or not. It's a choice we make as mothers and wives and friends. We can be present and available and invested or we can judge, carry bitterness and anger and lose trust and ultimately lose relationships. It's complex but simple. I think the craving for acceptance can only be be fulfilled by offering the same acceptance we crave. Of course, as soon as I sought to right my relationship with her Jenny was right there to meet me with her arms open. That's why I love her I guess. The acceptance of me and the trust of my acceptance of her. I love my people!