You never really have "arrived"

My faith is not that of Peter's, nor even Thomas probably. Sometimes it is firm, sometimes it is weak and sometimes I am wandering in blackness repeating the truth to myself over and over wondering when the peace and faith will find me and restore the light. About a week ago, the blackness had it's grip and Satan who knows my deepest fears began to hammer away at me. He never stopped for a minute. At night as I would try to fall asleep, my heart would accelerate with fear and it held me like vise. I asked some friends to pray for me and I know they did. I know because, although I'm no sage, I do know a faithful prayer warrior. I suppose now, I could have asked for more people to pray me out of my dark place, but it felt like a mini-crisis that surely three faithful prayer warriors could extract me from. I felt better for a couple of days, then plunged again, repeated truth to myself, read the Word and waited for it to pass. I sold some furniture which boosted me but the niggle remained and the hair on the back of my neck was still on end.
Today, I got what I think is my breakthrough. I think. And although the miracles in my life are probably not worth writing to Guidepost over due to their almost normal appearance, they are worth writing to God over. I thank Him. He is always with me, and he does direct the feet of his faithful. I had some people coming to see a table and chairs in my kitchen and when I opened the door a beautiful Indian woman with a belly a tad bigger than mine stood there with her husband. I invited them in and felt happy. He explained to her why the table might not be the greatest for their space and she mentioned that she still really loved it, so he acquiesced. It was cute and very loving. I asked Jody to come in and help him take it apart, while asking them if they were from India. She said yes they were and I told them I'd had the joy of being a doula for an Indian couple and had been amazed at all of the cultural differences. She smiled and said, "oh, were they Hindu?" I said yes, and she agreed that they were very different. I was intrigued and asked her whether they were Hindu and she said "no, we're Christian." Jody came in and glanced at the husband and said "oh, you have thyroid cancer too!" I hadn't even noticed his scar but it was right there, just like Jody's. He'd had two surgeries, the last one had been two years ago, just like Jody. His vocal chord had been compromised like Jody's. His wife mentioned getting nervous about the checkup every six months and so here stood someone so like us, I couldn't quite believe it. She then mentioned that they had waited 9 months after his radioactive iodine treatment to conceive and that her husband wanted to have four or five kids. The strangest thing was, they were standing there in person addressing every fear that Satan planted in me. I was afraid the baby could have been affected by Jody's radioactive iodine treatment. Answered. I was afraid Jody's cancer could come back, answered by a little family who are fearlessly planning their life in spite of the same exact cancer. And finally, they paid me for the table, money being my other gripping fear right now with a baby on the way. This is all one month before Jody's July checkup and ultrasound. So, my wavering faith is again held by the steps of a righteous family living by faith right before my eyes. It's a comfort.