A bouquet

Tonight I sit and glance frequently at a bouquet of roses on my dining table. They're a symbol of what Jody and I would love to be able to give to Michelle today. She turned 19. She has reached the age of being allowed to search and find her birth parents if she so desires. Jody has spent months agonizing over what to write to her. I think his greatest fear is that she may somehow feel that she was rejected by him when every selfish part of his being wanted to renig on the whole adoption and keep her. In light of the sacrificial decisions that Jody and Karen had to make and the impact it had on them personally, I believe that Michelle is grateful to them. Not a single night passes that her name doesn't cross my girls lips. Not a day passes that the single photo we have of her isn't perused. I remember the day that Eden smuggled the picture to school and told all of the students and teachers that it was a picture of her sister and her dad had adopted her, in typical backwards kindergarten communication. When she came home I found the picture and she started to vent to me about the teachers pestering her with so many questions about Michelle. Poor dear, didn't even know what an interesting story that would be to a teacher. I remember when the full impact reached her of why she couldn't call Michelle, and as she processed, she asked if we were going to adopt her to another family. I felt my heart squeeze as she made these logical leaps in her mind. It's such a difficult concept for a child to grasp. I spent so much time explaining to them why Michelle had a different family and all the while I wondered if I might be echoing Michelle's own mother through the years as she raised a little red headed angel that she loved more than life itself. Perhaps she would have been able to give me some pointers. Still, the never ceasing burning inside of both Eden and Kait to meet Michelle amazes me. I think they feel her if that's possible. So Michelle, wherever you are, we've prayed for you. Jody for 19 years and me for the 10 years I've known your sweet face. We've prayed for your peace, your joy, your faith and that you could feel not only your own family's love, but ours as well. God willing, maybe someday we will meet and see for ourselves that you've been sheltered in His wing and called according to His purpose.