Living

I propped my hip on her kitchen counter and began straddling an imaginary chasm. Seemingly without effort we each contributed guiltlessly to our heretical conversation feeding off of one another's transparency like drunken sailors. We came to no conclusion and both felt slightly bewildered at the end wondering if we had just been transported to a dramedy sitcom and were waiting for canned laughter or if we were supposed to cry. 

"Here we all are in our late 30's and early 40's with one foot on the old us from our 20's and early 30's when all was right in our worlds, when mothering, scrapbooking and starting home based businesses like Mary Kay and baby slings felt exciting and fulfilling."

"The other foot slips awkwardly around on the future us of our 50's who we are told will experience the feminist awakening and travel alone for pleasure and spend every penny on grandchildren and hair."

"But do we want to dive into the present?"

"The empty transitional self stays home too much, tries to find fulfillment in social media (the Diet Coke of relationships) and no longer cares about laundry or eating broccoli with dinner or basically anything... spending an inordinate amount of time reading timehop and wondering if we used to be that happy or if we were faking it."

"While deep down we know that all of the versions of ourselves just need to draw close to God but we can't because we're so saddled with very heavy emotional baggage we are clinging to like a crazy lady carrying all of her groceries inside in one trip."

You know when men ask "Oh you saw her today, how is she? What did she have to say?" Well... Now you know.