Butterfly

Little thoughts, feelings, memories flit through my mind like a butterfly. Some land and rest in my mind, they unfurl to show me all of their beauty. Some stay tightly closed too painful to look at the beauty and flit away to come again another day. I'm thankful I have the painful beauty. I am. But equally thankful my appendage is always here. She takes all of the change from my purse, hides in a fake log at the play area and repeats to herself "I like monies!" 

She arranges them on a log bench and drops one "oh I dropped my monies mommy!" She puts her monies back in my purse and extracts a small mirror. She smiles at herself and picks bits of food off her face. She smooths her hand over her cheek and practices a cheeky grin.

 It's such bliss to bask in her chatter. It's beautiful and beauty I crave every minute. Present beauty.

I embraced Fathers Day for my honey yesterday.

 But of course my kids take it for granted. Forcing them to get up, forcing them to help make breakfast, forcing them off the TV and out to the garage to watch Daddy make a chair. I always hung around watching my Daddy work. Why does this moment need to be orchestrated? Why are their privileges not a delight to them? Can you hear my teeth gritting? I'm often reminded that they are children and so they are. I wish I could be that blogger I was 5 years ago when I documented every magic moment with the thrill of fresh and new parenthood. I was watching a rose called family slowly open. Now I water, prune, fertilize and rinse and repeat. It still has marvelous rewards but it's sometimes tedious. 

What I am truly thankful for is that my frustrations and doubts and exasperations do not translate into pictures. They are just beautiful and I do love simple beauty.