Mundane

Maybe this will go down like a good Lawrence story. I'll just start typing and realize I have a very entertaining life and think of some amazing moments to share. It really doesn't matter what I write, so long as I get the drug of having written. I've had a mommy night. I watched two episodes of "Parenthood" and the season finale of "House" while continuing to fold the 8 loads of laundry I had procrastinated. Jody came down to tell me good night. I wrapped my toes around him and just smiled into his eyes, knowing he's the only one who can make me feel like a school girl. Then I had to blog. I could stay up all night on nights like this. Loving my life and thinking about the greatness of God, people, flowers, chocolate and the internet.
Eden's Grandpa Barry got her a book, eh, two years ago. It's "The Adventures of Frog and Toad." Suddenly she loves to read it. It's the first book that Eden reads just for the fun of reading. I find her piled up reading it and chuckling her way through it. It's a breakthrough. There is no magic like watching my girl with a book open as her eyes slide from left to right and expressions play across her face. First grade has been a real journey for us. Eden's understanding of the purpose of school started a little differently than my brain could process. She began the year with a little folder to put "incomplete papers" in. Well, she just considered it a great place for things she never got around to finishing. Naturally, it all came home to roost with her homework. Ms. Baxter had no alternative but to send home the biggest pile of half finished junk you've ever seen. This kind of halfway (I'm using a nice term here, take note people!) approach lasted until the first parent teacher conference. Ms. Baxter (the Great) told Jody that Eden was lagging in basically every subject. We had a come to Jesus meeting the next night and a rare level of communication was achieved. I said "Eden, did you know that you actually need to do well in 1st grade in order to move on to 2nd grade with your friends?" My daughter had no idea. I just have to say I felt like I was talking to a marshan because when I was in school, if someone had told me I was going to have to settle for being less than "smartest kid in the class" I might as well have been told to wear a dunce cap. She really thought she was going to school for story hour and braiding her friends hair. I shared this with my mother who instantly identified with Eden. I found it astounding because she was valedictorian of her class. She told me she never even tried in school until junior high when a teacher expected more of her. Great, so I got a mini Mom.... not only was this exasperating but shocking. She drove me crazy as a kid, always slashing red marks all over my writing and now here she was admitting she was a half hazard student herself. I almost wish she'd never tell me any more true stories. They're too overwhelming of a contrast against the mother/teacher I remember. At any rate, we started incentivizing progress and Eden jumped in and started putting her nose to the grindstone. Still, reading was such a struggle. We slugged our way through the required 30 minutes of reading each night, thinking the day that Eden would ever read for the joy of it was a la la dream. Now, we've had the breakthrough and made a trip to the bookstore for another Frog and Toad book and a horse book and a pony book. This is a landmark moment for us, because I always get books from thrift stores and the book sale at the library but I feel like I have this hairline opening and I don't want to screw it up with another dry history book on the Founding Fathers, a random chapter book way too advanced for her or Junie B. Jones (the worst kids books ever). She read all afternoon. Amazing. For this, I tip my hat to Ms. Baxter and all of the teachers at Flagstaff who have worked with Eden. Anyone who knows us both well, knows that Eden is marvelous, no fantastic but she can say or do just about anything school related in such a way that it will drive me insane with frustration. By the same token, I can say just about anything in such a way that will automatically lock Eden up and put her into "non-learning" mode. If a person wants to see me cringe, just tell me I should homeschool her. OMG!!!!!!! So, it's been a year of huge accomplishment. She's on the right track. It's just a load off of my shoulders. I am so thankful, so glad, so happy and I'm really anticipating summer. It's going to be a blast. I just know it.

Mother's Day

When I became a mother, it had little meaning beyond the moment. I didn't analyze much beyond what it would be like when she said "momma" the first time or how exciting it would be when she rolled over. I didn't know how tough it would be and I certainly didn't think about school. Whew. I've made it about seven years now. It's up and down and over and under. Sometimes I don't know how I can take it. Sometimes I know I'm not hacking it. Sometimes I float as I bask in a smile. Sometimes I just survive. Sometimes I thrive. Sometimes I know I'm doing well but sometimes I know I'm not. It's easy to feel kind of abused when you have three kids. They're just clammoring for more of you and fighting for the lap so I can be their furniture. It doesn't seem to possibly matter what I want to offer them, they'd rather have something else. And yet, in those special moments, I feel that love where they want to show me. Today Kait was cleaning up the living room so it would be clean when I came downstairs for breakfast. She came up the stairs huffing and puffing with a huge armload of books. You know, I'm the only one who ever huffs and puffs up the stairs with armloads of books, so that meant something to me. I thanked her and she said "Well, Eden won't even help me, she's just laying down there in the floor pretending to be crucified on the cross." For real, it's hilarious to hear Kaitlyn's little chirpy voice say the word "crucified". I think about that now and wonder how I can be such a martyr about being a mother, but I often am. The work definitley pulls me down when I lose track of the blessings and the joys that God gave me here on this earth. I am blessed. I have a charming redhead lover, three blonde beauties and a life most could only dream of. And so, I thank you God, for the beautiful Mother's Day with homemade waffles, three beautiful children marching off to church, flowers everywhere and pots to put them in, the sun in the back yard and the neighbors to share dinner with. I am blessed... and now I shall go sleep in that wonderful bed. If only I'd gotten a picture.

And then she was 5

Every birthday my kids have, I have to reminisce about the day they were born. I remind Kait that she flew out of me like a flash. I tell her that she screamed like a mad woman as soon as they placed her in my arms and she hasn't turned off the vocal chords since (which I don't say).I picture her first bath, her smiles within the first week of her life. Her dimpled smile on the swingset in Kasson. Marveling as she scooted across the floor like an inchworm at Christmas time. Laughing as she stood by the leapfrog table covered in chocolate as Eden's words of "Mom she likes chocolate!" finally sank in. I don't remember her first steps but it doesn't really bother me because I do remember so many things. My 18 month old held her sole diet of blueberries in her hand and said "look, I got seven!" Coincidentally, she did! Watching her learn to ride a trike Grandpa brought her on her second birthday. Taking away her binky shortly after her second birthday explaining that we needed it for the baby. She stuck it in my belly button and asked the baby if it liked it. Then, her face as she welcomed her baby brother into the world in her old bedroom. After we moved to Longmont I remember her loving the trampoline I picked up but only if everyone jumped the way she told them to. I've loved teaching her to read, to count, geography... everything. She's my sponge. Spouting out all of the things I don't want repeated! The stories she can weave, the dreams she can concoct. If one person had to bear the load of things in Kait's brain bursting to come out, it would be mind bending. She spends hours every week on the phone and skype. Even my whole family can't bear the words. People asked me what to give Kait for her birthday this year and I was dumbfounded. What do you give to someone who just talks nonstop all day every day? Today she asked me to identify whether things were man made or nature all the way across town. She's ceaseless and none of it seems to be connected or remotely predictable. Well, I love you little girl and I hope you love these little reminscing blogs when you're older and wonder what we saw.