Mother's Day

When I became a mother, it had little meaning beyond the moment. I didn't analyze much beyond what it would be like when she said "momma" the first time or how exciting it would be when she rolled over. I didn't know how tough it would be and I certainly didn't think about school. Whew. I've made it about seven years now. It's up and down and over and under. Sometimes I don't know how I can take it. Sometimes I know I'm not hacking it. Sometimes I float as I bask in a smile. Sometimes I just survive. Sometimes I thrive. Sometimes I know I'm doing well but sometimes I know I'm not. It's easy to feel kind of abused when you have three kids. They're just clammoring for more of you and fighting for the lap so I can be their furniture. It doesn't seem to possibly matter what I want to offer them, they'd rather have something else. And yet, in those special moments, I feel that love where they want to show me. Today Kait was cleaning up the living room so it would be clean when I came downstairs for breakfast. She came up the stairs huffing and puffing with a huge armload of books. You know, I'm the only one who ever huffs and puffs up the stairs with armloads of books, so that meant something to me. I thanked her and she said "Well, Eden won't even help me, she's just laying down there in the floor pretending to be crucified on the cross." For real, it's hilarious to hear Kaitlyn's little chirpy voice say the word "crucified". I think about that now and wonder how I can be such a martyr about being a mother, but I often am. The work definitley pulls me down when I lose track of the blessings and the joys that God gave me here on this earth. I am blessed. I have a charming redhead lover, three blonde beauties and a life most could only dream of. And so, I thank you God, for the beautiful Mother's Day with homemade waffles, three beautiful children marching off to church, flowers everywhere and pots to put them in, the sun in the back yard and the neighbors to share dinner with. I am blessed... and now I shall go sleep in that wonderful bed. If only I'd gotten a picture.