Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Eden Shea
I'm sitting here with tears running down my face like rushing rivers. It is so disappointing that I dissolved into a puddle because now I'll have a headache and it will last all day tomorrow unless I take drugs and I don't want to but to be honest, I'm just trying to make this all about me so I won't think about Eden. My sweet sweet Eden. My angel girl. My pumpkin doodle. My little Kindergartener. I don't want to let her go. She's going to have so much fun, but I won't be there for it. I'll miss it all and she won't remember to tell me a quarter of it. I love her so much and I laid in bed picturing the day she was born, so tiny, so perfect, how cute and chubby she was as a one year old, wrecking mischeif with the dogfood bowl, how adorable when she turned two and I could finally snag enough of her hair together for pigtails, how she greeted the new life of her sister with reverence and joy, how infuriating at three coloring on every surface of our house but then turning thos beguiling eyes on me and melting me into a puddle and riding her trike like the wind, and four, oh four was so neat, she got her bike, she got a baby brother, she had a best friend next door and life was so good. Now five is almost over and I feel like this year was lost. Too much time wasted, moving and trying to make ends meet. I'm grateful to have had it so easy for so much of her childhood but five was really just stolen from me. Well, I sold it for worry I guess. What a terrible trade. I vow that six will be golden. I'll live it like no other year with her. We'll make the best memories and even though I'll miss three hours of her day to school, I'll live the rest like I should and maybe I'll even try to savor the time alone with Nick and Kait, they never had that with me like Eden did. Sometimes I think I should make this a journal instead of a blog. Maybe I shouldn't lay all of my emotions out there for everyone under the sun to read and criticize. At any rate, my heart feels broken and I can't sleep. Tomorrow, my angel baby will take her first step from my nest and it hurts. People tell me they felt the same but I just can't believe it. It's way worse than anyone said and I wonder if I'm a drama queen, too attached, or what but I have no answer and sometimes it seems like the more I cry, the sadder I get instead of the sadder I get, the more I cry. Matter of fact, I have no idea which is causing the other and I don't think it would make me feel better to know anyway.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Is this the best we can do?
A recent visitor to our home made the same observation that pretty much everyone seems to be regarding the impending election. I'll do a quick summary of my perceptions of two candidates that I have no intention of voting for. I don't know who I will vote for, but it will NOT be one of these two. I violated my principles and voted for Bush and it did nothing but create a masterful mess.
Obama. A charasmatic empty windbag. I hear him chanting the same thing over and over and there is NO substance to his message. I dug a little deeper on him and found nothing I believe in and no changes that I want that man to make in this wonderful country. Primarily, he is pro-partial birth abortion. This is huge. For anyone that only knows "partial birth abortion" as a phrase and has no real idea what it is, it is the biggest atrocity of our nation. People in white coats, induce labor on a woman who is pregant with a baby that can survive and deliver everything but the head of this wonderful living human being, then they stab the baby in the back of the head with a pair of scissors and remove the brain. Then they deliver the poor lifeless child and throw it away. Yes, Obama's voting record shows that he believes in this. I could stop right there and ask everyone how they could in all conscience vote for such an animal. As a matter of fact, I will stop because I'm already very ill. Suffice it to say, this man has no principles or morals and I cannot vote for him.
McCain. A wolf in sheeps clothing. He is a liberal disguised as a conservative with one foot in the grave to boot. His affilliations and adgenda's are so far removed from the true conservative position that I don't know where to start. I have no idea what he is even doing running on the Republican ticket. All I do know is that conservatives really need to wake up and take a stand for what is right. We need to demand more from these political phony's and we need to rethink our priorities as conservatives. Restructuring a few things in our party would make us much more appealing to the swing voters like increasing our presence on the scene of "conservation of the earth." If we really took issues like "healthcare"by the head and called it the money machine that it is it would be a tremendous start. I have a few analogies. Kearney got a hematoma on her ear. We don't have pet insurance which is just as much of a scam as any other kind of insurance so I called every vet in Longmont until I found one that would do the surgery she needed at a price I could "afford" to pay. Interestingly, she was several hundred dollars cheaper than the others and used a simpler surgery that is proven to be just as effective as the expensive surgery used by other vets. If we treated all healthcare in this way, the competition would drive down the price. It works anywhere. It works in any town or countryside. If people want your business, make them work for it. You worked hard to earn that money, don't give it away lightly. Secondly, stop buying new stuff and stop buying stuff made in China. Come on people, what do you think is causing all of the problems with the job market? We've moved everything over to China and Mexico and nobody has jobs anymore. We're paying poor children in China a pittance to make a bunch of junk that we don't need and then we fill up our houses with it. Just stop. Go to the thrift store or Craigslist or Freecycle when you need something. It might take a week or so to come across it but you'll save a fortune and feel better about yourself for it. We have become ridiculously greedy for all things shiny and new, and the wastefulness of our world is so depressing. We're a single income family, with a huge mortgage and a huge rent to pay every month. I have become quite good at the above mentioned practices. I acquired a 55 gallon fish tank and stand for free the other day to put the coveted turtle in, come October when Eden turns 6. We had to clean it and fix it up but it's alot better than paying $400 for a tank and stand made in China from Petco. By using a little ingenuity, I am able to help Jody supplement our income. I go to storage auctions and buy units and sell the contents on Ebay. I've made over $1200 this way so far and I've only been doing it since May. That's over half of our grocery bill each month. More later, Nick beckons.
Obama. A charasmatic empty windbag. I hear him chanting the same thing over and over and there is NO substance to his message. I dug a little deeper on him and found nothing I believe in and no changes that I want that man to make in this wonderful country. Primarily, he is pro-partial birth abortion. This is huge. For anyone that only knows "partial birth abortion" as a phrase and has no real idea what it is, it is the biggest atrocity of our nation. People in white coats, induce labor on a woman who is pregant with a baby that can survive and deliver everything but the head of this wonderful living human being, then they stab the baby in the back of the head with a pair of scissors and remove the brain. Then they deliver the poor lifeless child and throw it away. Yes, Obama's voting record shows that he believes in this. I could stop right there and ask everyone how they could in all conscience vote for such an animal. As a matter of fact, I will stop because I'm already very ill. Suffice it to say, this man has no principles or morals and I cannot vote for him.
McCain. A wolf in sheeps clothing. He is a liberal disguised as a conservative with one foot in the grave to boot. His affilliations and adgenda's are so far removed from the true conservative position that I don't know where to start. I have no idea what he is even doing running on the Republican ticket. All I do know is that conservatives really need to wake up and take a stand for what is right. We need to demand more from these political phony's and we need to rethink our priorities as conservatives. Restructuring a few things in our party would make us much more appealing to the swing voters like increasing our presence on the scene of "conservation of the earth." If we really took issues like "healthcare"by the head and called it the money machine that it is it would be a tremendous start. I have a few analogies. Kearney got a hematoma on her ear. We don't have pet insurance which is just as much of a scam as any other kind of insurance so I called every vet in Longmont until I found one that would do the surgery she needed at a price I could "afford" to pay. Interestingly, she was several hundred dollars cheaper than the others and used a simpler surgery that is proven to be just as effective as the expensive surgery used by other vets. If we treated all healthcare in this way, the competition would drive down the price. It works anywhere. It works in any town or countryside. If people want your business, make them work for it. You worked hard to earn that money, don't give it away lightly. Secondly, stop buying new stuff and stop buying stuff made in China. Come on people, what do you think is causing all of the problems with the job market? We've moved everything over to China and Mexico and nobody has jobs anymore. We're paying poor children in China a pittance to make a bunch of junk that we don't need and then we fill up our houses with it. Just stop. Go to the thrift store or Craigslist or Freecycle when you need something. It might take a week or so to come across it but you'll save a fortune and feel better about yourself for it. We have become ridiculously greedy for all things shiny and new, and the wastefulness of our world is so depressing. We're a single income family, with a huge mortgage and a huge rent to pay every month. I have become quite good at the above mentioned practices. I acquired a 55 gallon fish tank and stand for free the other day to put the coveted turtle in, come October when Eden turns 6. We had to clean it and fix it up but it's alot better than paying $400 for a tank and stand made in China from Petco. By using a little ingenuity, I am able to help Jody supplement our income. I go to storage auctions and buy units and sell the contents on Ebay. I've made over $1200 this way so far and I've only been doing it since May. That's over half of our grocery bill each month. More later, Nick beckons.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)