Girlfriends and God

Last year I hit thirty and thought things would start to make sense. Who was I kidding? I still feel like a nineteen year old girl "playing grownup." People have always said that age is just a number and now that I'm thirty-one I think I have figured that one out. The question of where I'm at, now that I'm thirty-one is the most interesting contemplation, not the monotonous progressive counting reminiscent of kindergarten. A great discovery now that I'm in my thirties is the incomparable value of girlfriends and God. I'll be honest that I guess I'm a late bloomer in this respect. Most people seem to grasp the value of girlfriends fairly early on but I didn't. Managing relationships has never been my strong suit and I was not good at prioritizing or showing appreciation for my girlfriends at all. Through my twenties I think Jody and I explored the immeasurable worth of having a true connection with your spouse as you begin a family. It was great and I look back on it with a glow of satisfaction. But now I'm broadening and thinking about things in a little different way. My chum Jenn brought over Chinese and we had a four hour lunch today. When I was primarily focused on Jody, I used to sensationalize how grand it would be to go have lunch with him, and it is grand if he has the day off of work. On the other hand, if you go on a work day, he will be thrilled but distracted and you'll be lucky to have him 70% at attention for a little less than an hour. I'm not saying Jody is an abysmal lunch date. I'm saying it's not the best way to connect with him and it's not the most relaxing thing in the world that you can do for him. On the contrary, I feel like I'm slightly taxing him. I don't regret the effort, I feel we have nice memories from our lunches and I'm sure we'll still do it, but under close examination a good question is "What is the best way to love your man with meaning?" Around noon Jenn called to tell me she was running a bit late because she had tried to cram a little too much into her morning so she could be free all afternoon without chores. I laughed and told her I had done exactly the same thing. We were so focused on how great our lunch date was going to be, that we had crammed a ridiculous amount of effort into setting our entire afternoons free. And we were glad we did. We ate way too much Chinese and gabbed it up for the whole afternoon. It was kind of a dawning of a new realization for me. How nice to have my dream lunch and an animated discussion of things that would be physically painful for Jody. How nice for Jody to come home to a less than needy wife who had a great day and prepared a fine dinner. By the same token, how nice it was that he and I had a lovely breakfast together without my telephone or internet when he had a day off last week. I feel the same glow from both experiences and I'm glad that I'm learning how to tap into the "good times".
The other thing I'm exploring in my thirties is resuming my "best friend" status with God that I had in my teen years. It seemed like I just couldn't do it in my twenties. I had baggage from churches, choices and the overwhelming new job of wife and mother. I think finding God in the middle of it was just beyond my faith and organization level. It seemed like whenever Jody and I made a step in that direction we'd hit a spiritual wall and the Holy Spirit was elusive. I look at how reachable God is to me now compared to my twenties and I'm kind of flabbergasted and very thankful. I spent a worried and guilty decade wondering how I was ever going to get back to Him and here we are. I finally feel myself pulling back into a comfortable and familiar friendship that makes everything in life make sense. So yeah, I'm glad I'm thirty-one and I'm pretty sure I'll be glad to turn fifty-one and eighty-one.

And a Happy New Year!

We had a fabulous time in Arkansas with my family. There were a couple of dim spots. Daniel, Hannah and Karhys weren't there and many things conspired against us making it to the farm, so the kids have to wait to meet the new filly named Jasmine indefinitely. I must say though, we had great food, as much tea as a person could want, a latte at my fingertips at any moment(courtesy of our great host Brad), a warm fire and five children in the house to make it feel completely like Christmas. I wish I could recall all of the things that made me laugh until I cried but they escape me and I'm left with a warm happy feeling that should last me until spring.
A couple of days before we left, Brad asked if I wanted to go to a thrift store with him and I agreed. We eventually wound up at a pawn shop where a man was trying to sell a 12 gauge home defense shotgun with pistol grips and a night spotlight. It was rather ironic because Jody had just told me two weeks ago that he wanted one for Christmas. I have a rather soft spot for home defense, so he kinda hooked me. Long story short, the pawn shop wouldn't pay his asking price but Brad and I were jockying for the chance to, and Brad the gentleman let me win. We strolled into the house and I handed Jody the case and told him I got him a little something for taking care of all five kids while we were gone. So we blasted out of 2010 with a shotgun on the back of Ginny and Brad's property. So fun!
Today was the girls first day back at school. Eden had a history report due which had somehow morphed into Jody assembling a model of the U.S.S. Constitution. I really thought he was going to lose it and smash the whole thing to pieces a few times. He would explode and then smile at me rather sheepishly and try again. One time I heard a clatter of tiny pieces and then "shhhhhhhhhhhhhh------oooot!" As he neared the end, he turned to me to put on the rigging and sails. It was not a well made model. I'll just stop. I might be able to make a story about this funny sometime down the road but I think the pain is just too fresh. Anyway, Eden sat down and wrote a very nice report on "Old Ironsides" and I loved it.
Today I am sitting here for a moment to document how wonderful my morning with the two greatest guys in the world has been. We shuttled the girls off to school and then had pumpkin bread, sausage and eggs with hot tea. We were satisfied with the rarity of this treat in and of itself when a hawk landed on our back fence and

decided to breakfast with us. While he happily dined on a fresh bird, Jody took the opportunity to take his portrait which he seemed to enjoy. He let Jody come right into the back yard with him.