What am I supposed to do? Use those plain old titles like "Kaitlyn's Birthday"? Nah. Anyway, I'm a terrible blogger. I don't know if anyone even reads this anymore but it's nice to have it all here just for myself. I've always wished I could start journaling and this is a very nice substitute.
Kaitlyn turned three on Friday. Her grandparents Maureen and Jerry and her Uncle Jeff came for the weekend and we had a great visit. Her chirpy little voice and her swinging blonde hair make her the belle of the ball without even trying. She spent most of her time parenting people. It was typical. She took care of Grammy with amazing selflessness and even declared it was actually Grammys (her daughters) birthday and pretended to give her presents. I love watching Kait with her extended family. When she was a baby nobody was quite convinced she would ever want anyone but either me or Jody and now she just oozes love to the world. She spins these imaginary settings for us, dictating what we must say and do and we can't help but comply just to see her dimpled smile. She refuses to wear matching clothes and since she's not my first child I can see the beauty of her wardrobe choices. She turns on the tears and I find myself agreeing to almost anything, not because I don't want her to cry but because she does this little trembly thing with her voice and chin that nobody with a heart can deny.
We had a backyard party with the trampoline and a playhouse that Jody and Jeff spent at least 8 hours assembling. Their friends Berkeley and Canyon came to the party and played away the day with them. They are great friends and we had a great party but I couldn't help but miss the friends we've celebrated birthdays with in Minnesota, knowing we probably won't ever again. I wasted some time wishing I could create my own magical little neighborhood, composed of our greatest friends and family. Tis not to be, we shall have to make our lives happy and be content with what we have. Perhaps there's more suprises around the corner that we can't even imagine. ;-)
When the family left the last night, Eden was exhausted and emotional. You can wish all you want, but those moments when you see a little piece break off of your childs and their grandparents hearts because of choices you had to make will follow you like a dark cloud. I try not to dwell on how much my choices affect other people because I can't do anything about it but it doesn't erase the knowledge and helplessness that creeps up in moments like those. We took advantage of that night to say a special prayer thanking God for the amazing grandparents our children have all around. We're blessed so much and fail to tell those wonderful people how much they mean to us all too much. God knows how much they add to our lives.
Yesterday was the re-coup day. We went to a big park called Golden Ponds or something like that. It's a series of ponds/lakes with walking trails all around. We spent over an hour, I pushed the double stroller and Eden rode her bike. It was magical and wonderful but in my usual horrid way I ended it badly yelling at Eden for riding her bike way too far away from me and griping like an old hag. What was supposed to be a wonderful morning ended on a sour note and it was all my fault as usual. I'm sure if I had an assistant handy to smack me really hard when I start those tantrums I'd be cured fairly quickly, as it is I keep making the same parenting mistakes and beating myself up for it afterwards.
I'll be posting pictures of Kaitlyn within a couple of days. Today Nick has a virus and has had a fever and vomiting for about 12 hours so far. I'm hopeful that at least the fever is over because he's been napping for over an hour without a peep.
We're still praying for someone to buy our house in Kasson.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Hello
Well, we've had a nice week.
Two days ago Kaitlyn read one of the Winnie the Pooh books to me. She turned the page and looked at a picture of Pooh pulling a pot of honey off of his shelf and said "and he went to the cabinet and got a beer." Is it just me or is that just freakin funny? We aren't huge drinkers so I felt that it was appropriate for me to point out that pooh is just a little bear and he doesn't drink beer. Man, I told the story to Gin and we laughed our heads off together. Then Kait pipes up with "you guys stop talkin about that!"
Yesterday I was getting in the car with the kids and idly thought that my purse was feeling too heavy. I opened it up and saw a plastic egg inside. I picked the egg up and it was inordinately heavy. I opened the egg and found... you guessed it... no you didn't... a real honest to goodness boiled and dyed egg. I was puzzled but in too much of a hurry to do anything more than toss it in the dumpster. I recounted the story to Gin telling her I had no idea how it had gotten there and heard Eden snicker and say she knew. I pushed the phone aside and stared at her askance and she said "you did it." "ME?" I asked in disbelief. "Yes, on Easter I had it for the minister at church and you said "let me just put it in my purse and then we forgot it!" It was 100% true. That is exactly what happened though I want it known that I had NO idea that she had planned to present the minister with a hard boiled egg. A minister we had never even met.
Today life took a much more serious turn. Jody's grandmother passed away this afternoon. Jody called to tell me that she was near the end around noon so I told the kids that it looked like GG was going to die soon. Around 1:00 Eden had a complete breakdown crying that she didn't want GG to die. I comforted her and told her all about the fringe benefits of heaven. Kaitlyn tried to call Jody to tell him Eden was crying but he wasn't by his phone. Eden calmed down and I called my mom to tell her what was going on. She mentioned that I shouldn't be surprised if Eden knew when she passed. Jody called me around 3 MT to tell me she had died at around 3:00 CT. I feel that Eden could sense her great grandmother's spirit leaving. Eden wasn't technically named after her great grandmother but her name coincidentally so matched her name that in my mind she has become her namesake. Edith May and Eden Shea. She has felt this loss as a first true grief. I have watched her face as she searches me for a clue as to how we are to deal with this fact of life and death. I try to offer her the truth in a peaceful and surrendered way. I told her today that there is a time to live and a time to die and a time for joy and a time for grief. I helped her accept her GG's death by reminding her that in heaven her great grandmother will have full use of her hands again and be able to walk and play her guitar. She found peace in it. Kaitlyn is still two so she was completely content with waiting until she gets to heaven to see GG.
It's been a good week. We studied birds this week and ironically GG loved birds. We discovered that a ridiculous number of states have the mocking bird as a state bird. As many birds as we have living in this country, surely a few states could have been original.
Two days ago Kaitlyn read one of the Winnie the Pooh books to me. She turned the page and looked at a picture of Pooh pulling a pot of honey off of his shelf and said "and he went to the cabinet and got a beer." Is it just me or is that just freakin funny? We aren't huge drinkers so I felt that it was appropriate for me to point out that pooh is just a little bear and he doesn't drink beer. Man, I told the story to Gin and we laughed our heads off together. Then Kait pipes up with "you guys stop talkin about that!"
Yesterday I was getting in the car with the kids and idly thought that my purse was feeling too heavy. I opened it up and saw a plastic egg inside. I picked the egg up and it was inordinately heavy. I opened the egg and found... you guessed it... no you didn't... a real honest to goodness boiled and dyed egg. I was puzzled but in too much of a hurry to do anything more than toss it in the dumpster. I recounted the story to Gin telling her I had no idea how it had gotten there and heard Eden snicker and say she knew. I pushed the phone aside and stared at her askance and she said "you did it." "ME?" I asked in disbelief. "Yes, on Easter I had it for the minister at church and you said "let me just put it in my purse and then we forgot it!" It was 100% true. That is exactly what happened though I want it known that I had NO idea that she had planned to present the minister with a hard boiled egg. A minister we had never even met.
Today life took a much more serious turn. Jody's grandmother passed away this afternoon. Jody called to tell me that she was near the end around noon so I told the kids that it looked like GG was going to die soon. Around 1:00 Eden had a complete breakdown crying that she didn't want GG to die. I comforted her and told her all about the fringe benefits of heaven. Kaitlyn tried to call Jody to tell him Eden was crying but he wasn't by his phone. Eden calmed down and I called my mom to tell her what was going on. She mentioned that I shouldn't be surprised if Eden knew when she passed. Jody called me around 3 MT to tell me she had died at around 3:00 CT. I feel that Eden could sense her great grandmother's spirit leaving. Eden wasn't technically named after her great grandmother but her name coincidentally so matched her name that in my mind she has become her namesake. Edith May and Eden Shea. She has felt this loss as a first true grief. I have watched her face as she searches me for a clue as to how we are to deal with this fact of life and death. I try to offer her the truth in a peaceful and surrendered way. I told her today that there is a time to live and a time to die and a time for joy and a time for grief. I helped her accept her GG's death by reminding her that in heaven her great grandmother will have full use of her hands again and be able to walk and play her guitar. She found peace in it. Kaitlyn is still two so she was completely content with waiting until she gets to heaven to see GG.
It's been a good week. We studied birds this week and ironically GG loved birds. We discovered that a ridiculous number of states have the mocking bird as a state bird. As many birds as we have living in this country, surely a few states could have been original.
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