Stay the course

The very best lessons I’ve ever had in life came at a great price... and yet letting kids experience such things is rather akin to taking a cold bath or licking a lemon. It is so unpleasant and seems so avoidable. I’ve always marveled at people who have parenting strategies. They know the rules and always have their what to do next plan. Not me. Every hit is a shock. Every revelation is groundbreaking.
In the last year we have had friend drama extraordinaire, a court date for vape pens on school property, several successful attempts to sneak out of my house at night, illegal photos on phones, underage drinking in my very own basement, lying about homework which almost led to failing classes, a concussion from a classmate, threats of a voodoo doll from a classmate who took my child’s lock of hair, inappropriate touch from classmates, the worlds creepiest death threat from a first grader and even a ride in a car with a driver under the influence. I wish I could say I’d do better with a do over but I’m certain I wouldn’t. This stuff can only be handled with supernatural protection and wisdom. My new epiphany is that I am not blessed with a natural wisdom. I must fully rely on God for wisdom which I need constantly. I’m choosing to be thankful that God gives me the windows into my kids worlds to pluck them out of danger and set them aright. I’m choosing to thank Him for protecting them through the minefield we call childhood. Do I have bad kids? No. Am I disappointed? No, not really. This is the season in which we face these situations with a learning mindset and thank God for every opportunity of conversation. So while a younger parent might read this and hope to avoid what I’ve faced, I feel only thankful that I was able to enter into the story with my kids and walk by their sides.
If you are in the thick of it, I just want to say... me too. If you think you’ve dodged the bullet, I doubt it friend. 😂

Because He lives

Many children on this earth will wonder if they are pleasing their parents even after they leave home. They'll feel the crush of their parents expectations for better or worse long after they get a "C" on their report card or wreck their first car. I think for some, it drives them and for some it haunts them but hopefully this little post here will be something my kids can always look at with peace. A big part of my parenting goals come from the way my parents raised me and a big part comes from my mentor Sarah. I remember talking about one of my kids struggling with something in school and her saying "raise your kids to be kind, there's plenty of achievers, but kindness will endure." It took the pressure off for me. I knew I was chasing rabbits with all of the academic check boxes but really felt entirely obligated to chase those bunnies until that moment. We weren't all made for excellence in every area of life but we were made to love, and so in my very imperfect way I began angling that direction. I helped with Kids Week every year and asked my kids to help with me. Well, I actually just made them. Sarah inspired that too. I remember asking her kids if serving was optional when your mom runs kid ministry and they never had a chance to answer. Sarah's back snapped into a military posture and she said "nope, serving is not optional." So I copted that script and drove it into the ground baby. I have so many good, hard, fun and crazy memories with my kids from kids week.

This year ws different and amazing. If you ever missed my copious facebook posts and needed to ask me what I think is the most important part of God's work, I would say kids ministry, crisis pregnancy support and missions. That's my heartbeat. But then there's seasons. I'm not in a season of ministry.  I guess I'm kinda out there in the UPS mission field or something. So this week while I toiled away at a dead end job and went to school, my monkeys volunteered their hearts out. Every morning they were waking themselves up and getting dressed and eating breakfast and going to kids week all by themselves. Every day when they got home I could see Jesus literally pulsing in their chests. There were plenty of hurdles and they were met with pluck and mettle. Monday was the trickiest day, they had no car so all four of them biked to church and back. Kait had to be at the church by 7:30 so she biked alone every day except Thursday when Eden decided to get up early and drive her. Tuesday was Nick's birthday which made not a difference to him, he went and served with a smile. I would watch videos of the play Kait was in and listen to them tell me all about their days, knowing that this serving wasn't done to please anyone, it was done as an offering to Jesus. And I can say, just sitting there smelling the aroma of that offering was stunning... and I cried a lot. I mean I stand amazed. I love watching kids love. I love diligence, obedience, perseverance, service, sacrifice and hearts on fire for Jesus. So I told them, "if you ever wonder if you were enough to please me, yes you have arrived. You completed that mission with flying colors because now I know He is in you and I can't wait to see where it all goes."
Sidenote, Hazel was technically not a volunteer, she was a participant of kids week but seeing her spirit and motivation was just as inspiring. She's currently sleeping on me at 4PM because she's completely exhausted and happy.