Bedazzle

Once upon a time Bart casually offered me a bag full of glittering jewels best known as bedazzle gems. I nonchalantly accepted and brought them home with no purpose. I briefly considered the fact that I was committing a cardinal sin according to "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up." I can't really even remember where I put them for quite awhile. They first resurfaced on Hazels coloring/tea table. Spilling from the taut little sandwich bag and living a meaningless glueless existence for some time there. Then one day without warning their adventures began. Kait had a sleepover with two darling little crazy 6th graders. They were inspired by the glittering gems, perhaps even hypnotized. It's all speculation. Isn't everything we think we know about kids speculation? The little bag made its way to my living room where it was used in a confetti war with great glee. Unfortunately the aftermath was greeted not by the laid back Elizabeth but by the formidable Jody who announced that Kait must return every last gem into the bag or die. Yes, of course I exaggerate. As I came upon the scene of Kait with a giant broom, dustpan and tiny sandwich bag she exploded into tears and threw the broom and dustpan to the ground, sensibly clinging to the depleted bag. I mercifully helped Kait who was delirious with exhaustion and  insensibly ranting about her unfaithful friends hiding in her bedroom from the wrath of Jody instead of helping recapture the sparkling sea. I didn't think about throwing the gems away nor did I think of a purpose for them, I simply allowed Kait to toss them back on the art table for no particular purpose though I did feel a wave of ambivalence. About three days later I found an atrocious concoction in Hazels tea pot in her room. It appeared to be soapy water with yogurt floating on top in a clump (that's what it LOOKED like... we will never actually know.) and . I carried the nasty slog to the sink shrieking at Hazel about the insufferable water messes in the bedroom. I dumped the teapot into the sink with every expectation of finding water and gunk but without the slightest anticipation of finding a bedazzling array of jewels swirling down the drain at an unstoppable speed.

You may wonder what more there could be for me to say. Well, about a week later I was organizing the office and found something on top of the cabinet that gave me pause.

I texted this picture to Bart saying "look what I found, I really should throw them away shouldn't I?" Well I didn't. And a scant ten minutes later I heard the now very familiar sound of all of the gems spilling from the bag. Then muffled giggles. Then the words "tell her it was an accident." 

I did my best to make this yielding to temptation regrettable by forcing them to clean it up. And it took a whole hour. And I would use my lecture voice and say "pouring these jewels everywhere sure was a bad choice wasn't it?" And they would mutter "bad choice, very bad choice." 

To any practical adult my choice was now clear, I must throw these doomed gems away forever but I just couldn't throw them away after all that work. I sheepishly tucked them in the back of a drawer. 

I'm sure you can imagine life for the next few weeks. When I swept I found bedazzle gems. When I looked up there would be Parker playing with bedazzle gems. When I walked across the room my foot would find a bedazzle gem. You would think I'd get mad but it just made me laugh. Then the other day what should appear before my eyes?

The Evolution of Marriage and A Kitten

We happily agreed to never have cats for 14 years, now we have a kitten. 

Admittedly she is a trial basis kitten but still... She's here and it's shocking. 

I think about how Jody and I got married almost flippantly, expecting our ground rules to never change because people hammer this thing into your head that people don't change. That's not actually true. Everyone changes. It seems like over time, the monotony and predictability became stale and unsatisfying to both of us. Jody got more hobbies. I got more friends. We still love each other like crazy but we are neither one the people we married and I say roll with it. Just live.

Saturday morning Jody strolled around the kitchen cradling the kitten like a baby and crooning like a star crossed lover to her...it's shocking. I stop and stare every time he tells me a funny kitten story. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall but this tiny kitten is rapidly crumbling our reservations into a puddle. As Hazel carries her purring limp body around like a sack of potatoes I think to myself... How have we never had a cat? 

As Eden does homework with a kitten sprawled in her lap obviously relaxing every bit of stress from her... I think Eden has needed her for years.

As Kait parades her friends through the house to show them her kitten and begs us to keep her, I sit in wonderment at her first interest in an animal in her entire  11 years. 

And as Nick bounces into the car after a long day of school announcing that he has become a writing machine cranking out a half of a page and using vocabulary words to boot about this nameless cat I feel secure in the blessing we opened our hands to. 

Hazel Sweet Basil goes to preschool

I remember trudging down the path behind my house five years ago, a giant baby belly dragging me down into the crusher fine and stabbing my feet like little knives. Everything was hard and felt painful and unfair. Many more mature people in this world, accept their responsibilities with grace and practicality. Not really so much in this heart. I have always kicked up a fuss about unplanned and difficult events. I considered a fourth baby just such in the abstract stage of parenting that we call pregnancy. I remember my mom's quiet and complete understanding, my sister's staunch gung-ho practical support, my friend God-Sib's mildly jealous confidence in the beautiful future before me, my friend Bart's mild dismay and laughing dismissal of my complaints, my friend D's startled yet grounding replies to all of my groanings. They all knew how lucky I really was. And so when this one was born, God poured gushes of love into my heart that spilled over onto her downy head like liquid gold and our hearts were sealed.
So, naturally today I needed my support again, and they knew. It's all about me I guess. As I laid cuddling my sweet girl last night, I tried to keep it light asking her how excited she was for her first day of school. She knew. She smoothed my cheek and said, "but you will have such a fun morning and I'll be home really soon." I said "actually yes I will, I get to have breakfast with some friends." She smiled and asked me where and when I said Huckleberry her reply melted me again "Aw, I love The Huckleberry!" That's my friend. My little chum. My faithful companion and best self esteem booster anyone has ever met. This morning Jody suggested that I was dressing up for breakfast with my friends. Ah. My friends who have seen me birth a child and covered in spit up with my hair sticking out on end and often without deodorant or my teeth brushed.... those friends. Nah, honey you dress up for the one who thinks you are beautiful. The little sparkling child who has told you how beautiful you are since she learned how to talk. The one who is swept away by your beauty every time you wear earrings or eyeliner. Who true to form, glanced up from her cheerios and gazed into my eyes this morning and said "you're so beautiful Mom."

I gave her a bath, fluffed her golden crown of hair with self made bangs and helped her into her favorite outfit and new sprinkle toe shoes. She looked in the mirror and said "I want a flower in my hair...". 

I
And as she nervously scooted into her class next to her best friend Mya, they clasped hands and walked to their new world.