Walkin on Sunshine!

Tonight I tucked my four little monkeys into bed. Each one clung to me like super glue. With their little stick like arms hanging on to me and their sweet hair in my nose, I honestly didn't want to go anywhere. But eventually the bedtime circus ends, they prayers are said, the teeth are brushed and my babies are floating off to slumberland. I walked down the stairs and as usual my ankle popped, my hip ached and my sacrum wobbled. I smiled and thought about how the little creaks in my body are relics of pregnancies from the most amazing little people in the world. Right now, at this very hectic time in my life (schedule wise) they all love me so overwhelmingly and beautifully. They want to be with me, they treasure moments alone with me... all four of them at the same time! Yes, really four kids who can't have enough of me. I feel like some kind of competition for Taylor Swift in this house. It's like I'm a rockstar or a chocolatier or a person who makes animal balloons. Why am I so popular? It blows my mind but it's true. It's really quite a miracle (considering I frequently go on diva like screaming rampages about people being too slow or taking my stuff or leaving goop for me to step in) and I'm thankful. A little birds eye view of my life: Hazel is comfort nursing while she teethes (ouch!). Eden is a tween and I'm having all of those interesting conversations like what ovaries are with her. Kaitlyn is teetering between the innocent little mess maker (yes goop in the floor!) and the cognizant child (cleaner upper of own messes). She's trying to figure it out but keeps tripping. Nick is jumping into school with both feet and learning so fast but needs so much one on one time which we love but have to work so hard to make happen. I have all of these spelling lists, reading logs, tests to study for, after school activities and SOMEONE just can't stand for anything to be left in my cabinets, dresser drawers or laundry baskets, makes huge messes when eating anything, poops in diapers and nurses never endingly! It just goes with the territory I suppose but I honestly never thought I'd be multi tasking at the level I am right now and yet still be filled the gift of love from so many quarters that my cup runs over. Husband, children, parents, siblings, friends, in-laws. I'm just amazed. I'm holding on and I'm loving this. I probably seem like I'm always complaining to people but really I'm just talking my way through the most mind blowing experience imaginable. Life is like your own little movie and sometimes you just can't believe how many tiny little pieces make it all up. This will seem rather ramshackle but I'm going to just say go and try to list off 20 blessings in the last week as fast as I can! I am not going to include the wonderful phone calls, emails and personal chats and visits I have with all of my friends on a regular basis. That would make it all too numerous! And I think I do a pretty good job of letting people know I truly cherish those blessings of friendship! Go! 1. Wink offered a temporary home to my family of SIX if we don't find a house to buy before our lease is up. I can't say that we would ever accept the overwhelmingly generous offer unless our situation was completely dire but I'm overwhelmed by the generosity. 2. I sold my friend Bart's car and she insisted I keep way too much money from the whole transaction. 3. Jody's mom just sent ANOTHER giant box of adorable clothes for my ridiculously blessed children and an AWESOME pair of jeans for me that are one of my favorite brands along with some cute shirts (she says I'm the daughter she never had and I hope nobody ever takes my place! LOL!). 4. My sister sent me a coffee grinder. Out of the clear blue... I guess she got sick of helping my broken one cripple along for the two weeks per year that she is here. I wonder if she will buy me a new bathroom scale next. 5. Jody took Kait mountain biking for her first time and she loved it. They had ice-cream together afterwards and she seemed to be floating on air. 6. My mom offered to come watch the kids if I get to go visit Bart in Israel. Such great grandparents my kids have! 7. Kait made me breakfast in bed on Sunday! 8. Hazel hugs me and kisses me and waves from the loft when she's upstairs and smiles so big her nose wrinkles. 9. Eden and I went out for coffee tonight and she told me it was "awesome" and that she will talk to me about everything whenever she has sick days at school (whatever that means!). 10. I took the kids to Wink and MJ's farm today and the girls climbed a cottonwood tree so high my knees got weak. 11. I got tons of honey crisp apples in the cull section at the grocery store 6 for $1 and I LOVE honey crisp apples but never buy them they're so darn expensive! 12. Jody's Aunt MaryLu sent us a great book with 40 days of prayer for the nation. We can't wait to start it! 13. I made Jody's tea and he hasn't had a pop in at least three days. I'm on a roll, gotta keep him off the cancer juice! 14. I also scored a super pretty hydrangea in the clearance section at KS and am loving watering it and loving on it. It blesses me every day to have it around. 15. I walked three days last week and it felt so great! I am loving being on a somewhat regular walking schedule. 16. The girls schedules got meshed so Eden and Kait have karate and volleyball practice on the same nights twice a week. Such a huge blessing. 17. Jody is taking both girls to above said practices and it's really special to all of us especially since we love to have family dinners. 18. We have family dinners at least 5 times per week and I think that's probably above the national norm and we love them. 19. My neighbor Christine got me started having each family member share a rose and a thorn at dinner. I love this part of the day so much. I find out little things probably nobody would have told me otherwise. 20. My friend Jenn has been bringing me fresh herbs. Despite being too much of a skunk to plant any, I have unlimited access to fresh basil and rosemary which I'm hopelessly addicted to. Plus Wink gave us a very cool Japanese radish to try! Love fresh blessings! Hm, wow that took about 30 seconds apiece I think. And now I can see what a beautiful life I have. Mmm, that's good! Muah!

The confidant, the genius, the spelling and the giver

I've always felt like Eden was on the other side of a glass. If I was upset my frustration didn't get through. If she had a bad day at school, I could barely tell and above all, I just wasn't her confidant. Her secrets were her own and that was just that. Her life away from me was never related in any detail. I never knew whether she had gone to PE or Science Lab. I never knew who she played with unless I asked. I never knew anything. I remember when her name was drawn from getting a dragon scale and she got to raise the flag with the Principal at school. Her teacher told me. A few months ago I put a chip in that armor when I found out she might have a teeny little crush. She was very secretive but I can be quite the insufferable wart. I did not leave her alone day and night until I pried it out of her but only after promising to never tell any of my friends. After that, the dam broke. She told me a few stories about kids at school. Then this fall we started an 8 week course at our church called Princess Club. Going to this class just the two of us and me allowing her to sit up front with me opened the floodgates. She realized I really could keep a secret, she realized I really was curious about school and friends and what people said and how they treated each other. She realized I really won't tell other mom's stuff unless it's necessary. It's been really neat. I'm grateful for what we are building between us. Maybe it's just in time. Nick started school knowing A,B,C,I,K,O and N. He was a little sketchy at writing his name and completely at sea in the classroom. His teacher was horrified that I would send him to school so blatantly unprepared. I love Mrs. Millane but she has clear feelings on preschool, homeschool and in Nick's case... no school. She repeated several true phrases to me that made me feel pretty horrible like "everything is just completely new to him" and "he's just so much slower than everyone else" It was a blow to my pride. I had done so much preschool with the girls that I felt half guilty and half righteous about letting Nick just play and forget all about letters, numbers and all of that stuff. Hours of hot wheels, nerf guns, super hero action figures and riding his bike. That was it. That's what he wanted to do, so we did it. All of the race car and action figure time left his fingers quite nimble. He can hold a pencil or marker longer than either of his sisters ever dreamed of holding when they were his age. One month into class and he knows all of his upper case and all of his lower case letters. Just to really test him, I wrote b,d,p,q and asked him what they were. He told me. I find it so exciting that I have this proof that I did the right thing by him but I still feel pretty judged by his teacher, as though she is fixing the mess I made of this poor child. I say that on one hand but on the other I know she prays for him and I know her prayer is that he will have a love of learning which has certainly happened. I know that he went to kindergarten pretty young so I feel a rush inside me and I'm happy that he waited to do school stuff until now. His enthusiasm is adorable. Every afternoon he does worksheets, and learning games on the computer and reads books with me and writes. He's completely immersed and having a wonderful time with it. He never asks if he can just quit and go play because somehow it's just time and he likes it. Kait's got spelling issues. She comes by it quite naturally. Her Unky Dunky can't spell to save his life. I'm going to contact special ed and find out exactly what is missing so I can do some specific practicing with her. It's quite strange to see her struggle because she's so brilliant, and verbal and confident in life. I'm sure I just missed something along the way and need to fill in the gaps but it's funny how every little struggle your child faces makes you look at yourself as their mother and wonder what you have done wrong. Being a mom is tougher than I ever could have imagined. Hazel is giving us stuff now. I once said I wasn't sure there was anything cuter than a baby who claps. Oh, there is. It's a baby who gives. She puts it in my hand, then takes it and puts it in Jodys hand then takes it and puts it back in my hand. It might be any little toy but she will do this over and over and smile so happily and proudly at us. I look at each of their faces. They are so special each of them. They are so amazing and wonderful and I pray that I will empower them to be whatever God made them to be, to do whatever God gave them the abilities to do and to love with their whole beings.

louaa

This evening Nick arranged a couple of step stools and some of Hazel's toys in a row for some jumping games. He did it several times then asked if I'd like a turn. I allowed that it looked pretty fun and we started doing fancy jumps, galloping jumps, skip jumps and then Hazel got in our path. Nick announced that we needed to move the baby but I just jumped over her. He put his hands on his hips and told me no way was he going to jump over her. I then started making a schwa schwa schwa sound as I jumped and suggested he have a jumping sound. He started meowing with each jump and confided in me that he likes cats a lot. Then he pursed his lips and said "louaa... do you know what louaa means Mom?" I said "no, I don't." He said "it means (oh man I forgot what he said it means! I hope he remembers when I ask him tomorrow!)" I said "oh, in what language?" He said "baby language (in an incredulous tone, as though I should know what language he was referring to)... or Spanish I'm not sure." It was nice of him to let me know. And finally about 45 minutes after bedtime I heard a rustle in his room and popped in to have a look see. There was little Nick huddled in his closet looking at "Rescuers Down Under." He glanced up so casually and said "oh, hi Mom" and gave me a beatific smile. What to do with him, I really am not sure. In other news, we are looking desperately for a renter for the Kasson house. Put out the BPA please! Also, Hazel finally got her first tooth today. It is about time!

Today I realized a lot of things:

Today: Got up, realized I have pink eye in both eyes just like after Kait's birthday party at Boondocks when the bumper boat water got in my eyes. Eden had a very red eye too. I drove everyone else to school, we parked in the FRCC lot and I called the doctor and they gave me a pink eye prescription. Went to Target to fill it and realized pharmacy didn't open til 9. Waited got a coffee... They were out of it so I had them send the scrip over to Walgreens on Ken Pratt. We go over there, get it. realize the dogs are still in the basement and high tail it home. I run around stripping sheets and trying to see through my fiery eyes. Realize we are out of time! Back in the car, have long conversations about Cotton every time we pass "his new home". Pick up Nick and Ashton, come back home. Feed everyone lunch. Back in the car for Eden's allergy appt. Stop to see if Cotton is around. (cringing inside) Poor Hazel is completely frazzled but she has no idea how much longer this day will be. Get to the allergy place, the guy lights Eden's arms on fire and and announces he will be back in 15 minutes. Realize I should have arrayed child care for this foray. Nick runs over Hazels hand with a wheeled chair. Eden clenches her fists and moans. Hazel escapes into the docs office a couple times. I nurse Hazel. I make Nick look at a book because he's being completely crazy in that little room. I have graham cracker crumbs and applesauce all over me and I realize I reek of body odor (it's ANOTHER 96 degree day). Back in the car, call Jody, we conclude the treatment is probably too expensive maybe she can start it sometime down the road soon. (groan) Realize I don't have the diaper bag but I don't have time to go back for it. Realize my sunglasses are in that diaper bag. Get to the bank to pay rent and realize (again) that my checkbook is out of checks. Go running to the school to pick up kids and call other carpool mom to ask if I can take her kids to a few banks. Go to my bank, withdrawl cash. Go to other bank, deposit it for the landlord. Go home, unload dishwasher and reload it as fast as possible while yelling at Kait to find comfortable clothes for karate. Take all four kids to karate which is next door to Blackjack Pizza. Realize I'm starving and down and buy a pizza, stuff two pieces down my throat while standing beside the outdoor table waving bees off of the three kids not in karate. Hustle everyone back into the car, run home, nurse Hazel, change clothes and dash out the door with Eden for Princess Club. Arrive at Princess Club late only to realize I have somehow missed some beautiful ceremony where all of the little girls dress their mothers up in toilet paper for a fashion show. Am I sorry? A little when I look at Eden's thrilled face. About 10 minutes into the discussion I realize Princess Club is basically a support group for the most amazing mothers on Earth and I'm sitting there afraid they will find out I came without an invitation. Driving home from Princess Club where I have realized that my children have far too much freedom of movie choices, internet access and phone access. Well, far too much freedom in general. It puts me into an introspective funk. As we drive home Eden says "We're just sitting here driving. What are we going to talk about?" Who are you and what have you done with my daughter? Remember? The one who waits three years to tell me she watched some random movie at school? The one who shrugs and makes a hang ten sign when I ask ANYTHING about her life? Get home, tuck all four kids into bed. Eyes are BURNING on fire and yet, I still had to blog it. I just had to.