Four things #4 has taught me so far...

The first thing that Hazel taught me is that you can experience raising a baby without glancing over your shoulder wishing you had tried to savor something more. I feel completely "in the now" with Hazel. Everything she does is grand and and I simply enjoy each moment. What's behind us is nothing but great memories and what's ahead of us rarely crosses my mind. I wept regularly each time I realized something had ended while raising my first three babies. Not Hazel. I feel completely content with who she is and where she's at now. Now is enough for me and I wish I could pass out this feeling to every new parent like coconut water or something. It's magic. Secondly, Hazel taught me that babies don't have elbows when they are born. I have regularly smoothed my hand over the spot that will be an elbow someday with great wonder. Thirdly, I noticed that I never said the word "no" to her until she was 5 months and 1 week old. I know this is starting to sound nonsensical but these things stand out to me. As a mother who says "no" a hundred times a day, there was a certain glory in the knowledge that I had one person in the house who I never had to say that word to until the reaching and grabbing and smushing into her mouth maneuvers started. But "no" is still a coo. I just coo it mindlessly while prying her fingers off of the window blinds or blades of grass she has just plucked or a crumpled piece of paper she has already half eaten. Fourth, I am divinely blessed to know her. It's a simple phrase but it's kinda heavy. I know an amazing little person who loves me and smiles at me and snuggles me. All that she is, amazes me. Not because I consider her a prodigy. Not because I think she's cognitively or physically superior to her peers. Not because I convinced myself she's been sitting up since she was two weeks old and playing chess since the age of 3 months. No, because she's Hazel. Hazel is great. She's my little chum and I'm so glad to know her, have her here and spend part of my life with her. I love her.