Dear kids, feel free to put this on my gravestone:
"She did good sometimes, and terrible sometimes. I'll have some PTSD but also some fantastic memories... couch time was required but the therapist loved the stories."
I had a friendship breakup recently that impacted my family's whole life. It was really sad and hard and confusing to navigate but we are kinda ok. I still roll it all around wishing I knew exactly what God's going to do with it all because I'm displaced and sometimes quite devastated with my new place in my community. I'm not much of a "wishing the past would change" kind of person. I just roll with it and hold on to beautiful things and get all sappy and nostalgic about them, but sometimes I do wish as I look back on damaged relationships that we had looked for more good things in one another and found them so the world could stay golden. But as they all say, utopia would teach us nothing and we would never grow. So, I'm holding the second adult friendship loss of my life in my hands asking it to teach me things, for personal growth, my current and future friendships, my marriage and even my relationship with God. And of course, it's already happening. I've struggled to give my kids sound friendship advice their whole lives because I am very impulsive and I either confronted and damaged relationships or feared my impulsiveness and wussed out and damaged relationships. But I'm realizing, it's not about learning exactly how other people do it, so much as developing a reverence for personal honor, always getting back up and trying again and a very fine attuning to the Holy Spirit. In my lifelong rebellious habit, I will reinvent the wheel and teach my kids that they have to be thinkers who are bold, kind, gritty, magnanimous, forgiving and Holy Spirit led."
I read the other day that each enneagram type should hold one thought close for comfort. The enneagram 8 was along the lines of "not everyone will like you and that's ok." It isn't a get out of jail free card for accountability of our abrasiveness, it's just a reality for everyone... but 8's particularly should keep in mind so they keep on trucking when the going gets rough and they need to keep trying after a casualty.
"She did good sometimes, and terrible sometimes. I'll have some PTSD but also some fantastic memories... couch time was required but the therapist loved the stories."
I had a friendship breakup recently that impacted my family's whole life. It was really sad and hard and confusing to navigate but we are kinda ok. I still roll it all around wishing I knew exactly what God's going to do with it all because I'm displaced and sometimes quite devastated with my new place in my community. I'm not much of a "wishing the past would change" kind of person. I just roll with it and hold on to beautiful things and get all sappy and nostalgic about them, but sometimes I do wish as I look back on damaged relationships that we had looked for more good things in one another and found them so the world could stay golden. But as they all say, utopia would teach us nothing and we would never grow. So, I'm holding the second adult friendship loss of my life in my hands asking it to teach me things, for personal growth, my current and future friendships, my marriage and even my relationship with God. And of course, it's already happening. I've struggled to give my kids sound friendship advice their whole lives because I am very impulsive and I either confronted and damaged relationships or feared my impulsiveness and wussed out and damaged relationships. But I'm realizing, it's not about learning exactly how other people do it, so much as developing a reverence for personal honor, always getting back up and trying again and a very fine attuning to the Holy Spirit. In my lifelong rebellious habit, I will reinvent the wheel and teach my kids that they have to be thinkers who are bold, kind, gritty, magnanimous, forgiving and Holy Spirit led."
I read the other day that each enneagram type should hold one thought close for comfort. The enneagram 8 was along the lines of "not everyone will like you and that's ok." It isn't a get out of jail free card for accountability of our abrasiveness, it's just a reality for everyone... but 8's particularly should keep in mind so they keep on trucking when the going gets rough and they need to keep trying after a casualty.
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