My Father

D Herbert is my dad. He was a city boy, born and raised. He lived in a little neighborhood of brick homes with little square yards. He had a paper route and collected silver dollars and rode his bike through the streets of Houston. When he was six, his parents bought the farm and spent their summers there. He moved there permanently when he finished his education. He knew the farm was a paradise from experiencing two contrasting ways of life and had the character to know the importance of sharing it with other people not so fortunate. Dad purposely lived his life to minister and educate; he rarely met a person without touching their life or at least trying to. He challenged people to think deeper, try harder, live simply and treasure life. He did it by carving out time for people and exposing them to what he believed were the most important life lessons. He wanted to grow the things that mattered, family, love, plants, education. He loathed pretension and pomp and circumstance. As a matter of fact, he went to extremes to live as the most humble of people and humble people attracted him. He loved lore, history, science, farming, bee keeping, being a Texas Aggie, being a Christ follower, being a father and he certainly loved Sherril Herbert. 

Family was it for Dad. He was an only child from a small family and it made him crave having a large family which he did. My childhood is a blur of riding on the fender of a tractor with him until I fell asleep, laying on his bed reading books, riding by his side in a truck sharing mounds bars, singing Irish Ballads together,  stuffing my hands in his back pockets and pretending to be his shadow, being his pride and joy and always always wanting to be with him every second which he always always accommodated. I have many treasured memories but one particular one was when he took me to a Main Anjou convention in Denver when I was ten. He took me to an adult party and danced with me standing on his toes just like I was a fine lady. He waltzed beautifully and all of the ladies fawned over what an accomplished dancer I was. He chortled with glee every time we talked about the fact that they never noticed. The eternal prankster. 

He often said Christians need to have more children so we can outnumber the liberals and frequently quoted “For children are as arrows in the hands of a mighty warrior, blessed is he whose quiver is full.” I found him rather convincing and am a proud momma of four children. Anything to put a lid on the liberals right? Many times I have called him and been greeted with the phrase “what wonderful stories do you have about your wonderful children?” 

He was a friend. His friends are many and the love poured out the last three months has been humbling beyond words. His best lifelong friends he called his brothers. I asked him one day how he had found such amazing friends that had stayed so close for 40 years and he told me he was just fortunate. 

He was a lover. Of course he fell in love with Mom. She was a beautiful brilliant girl as poor as a church mouse with a love for God he found completely captivating. He told me he fell in love with her when she asked him for a ride to a revival. He wrote her a love song that I wish he could sing to her for another twenty years. His marriage proposal was “change your phone number or tell me to buy a kite.” She gave up a full ride scholarship and changed her phone number. As a child, I watched a man love his wife with sweet abandon and do crazy weird things like buy her a trampoline for their anniversary, a glitzy sequined butterfly shirt on a business trip and giant chandelier earrings just because he saw them. I peeked through a crack in my door and watched him play records and slow dance with her after bed time with the kitchen lights on dim. I watched him hum a little tune in the grocery store as he would give me a cheshire grin and select a starfruit from the produce section for her. She was always on his mind. 

He was truly joyful. One of his most common quotes is “Give me a big possum grin.” which he also had a song for. Even just a week before he passed, he laid in his bed and smiled about us all sitting around him laughing about nonsense and told us he just wanted us to keep laughing. Humor and joy were his lifeline. So much so that if you lived with him you could start to feel batty. It was a prank a minute. If he wasn’t pretending to be electrocuted he was randomly shutting off the hot water in the middle of your shower or bellowing a “boom” while you were concentrating then apologetically saying “dad burn thing exploded”. I will wager that not many people know a song for waking people up in the morning, let alone two. I do. I know a song for anything you can think of. He could sing a song for any occasion and put a signature on anything, from how he whistled to his dog to how he pronounced the words “I love you.” He loved to give people nick names and write songs for them. He made anyone and everyone feel special. He was the master of entertainment and timing was his specialty; from his nonsensical telephone messages about Speedy Lightbulb Repair to telling doctors he had an inordinate fear of giraffes. Nothing gave him a bigger thrill than to leave someone speechless if even for just a second.

If he were here today, speaking to you, he would certainly take this opportunity to share with you the convictions he lived by in a clever, compelling and entertaining way. Then he would catch you off guard and with his classic perfectly timed “go for the kill” conclusion he would put you on the spot and ask you to identify convictions of your own and ask you to live by them. 

I am not silver tongued and my timing is always off but he did drive his convictions into me and I feel compelled to honor that the best I can. His deepest convictions are these:

Build a relationship with God and know the foundations of the Bible. Know how many Philistines you can slay with the jawbone of an ass. Know the character of Noah. Know Joshua. Know Caleb. And most of all, know Jesus and know how to pray. Dad shared his spiritual insights as often as he could find a willing listener and he prayed with people all of the time.

Be faithful in love. Love your wife/husband and children and invest in them. That one was so intrinsic to his nature he might have forgotten to tell you. 

Sing, always sing. Sing worship songs, sing silly songs, sing parodies, sing ballads and every now and then throw in a song nobody would expect you to know like “House of the Rising Sun. Singing unabashed shocks people and it feels good. 

Play pranks but make them good, take them all the way and never divulge your trade secrets. Laughter is the best medicine.

Be confident. Dad was never embarrassed. It was his mission in life to embarrass me enough that I would be confident as well. He loved to tell people about going to a church meeting with two mismatched shoes on accident; one with a giant hole in the toe and how it affected people at the meeting. A joke on himself was always his favorite. 

Learn how to tell a story well with perfect timing; one that will captivate, teach a lesson and give a laugh all at once without being too long but with a thread of suspense. 

Live by what is true, not by what is convenient. Life is given and taken by God. Abortion is simply murder. Anyone who condones it assumes the place of God. He personally spent hours explaining this to people and changed people from being pro-abortion patiently lovingly and tenaciously. Not just for the babies, but for their souls. He saved his share of babies when he put his money where his mouth was too. They are some of the most wonderful people I know now. I’m so glad he saved them. He cared about people. 

Know history or you are doomed to repeat it. He spent so much time giving history lessons. I wish I had paid better attention. 

Work hard. Accept that sometimes the hard work evaporates like a burning barn or rained on hay but keep on going. Not for earthly gain but for character. 

Do not live a life of accumulation of expensive things, live a life of simplicity and give your time and build your knowledge. It will make you happier in the end.