Call me "The Hammer"

The other day I was told that the Bible is a guide, not something you "hammer" people with. It made me smile because I don't have to hammer people with the Word. "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. - Hebrews 4:12"
Having been on a very constant faith journey for the last four years, I can say that I depend upon that truth. I depend upon the Word to not just be a guide, with love and mercy as the only bottom line but as a strong, true, living, active and precise support system for me. When I am weak, the Word does not give me any less than I need. When I am dark, it does not fail me. This is not because of anything other than that it is literally breathing life into me. While other people may feel they need to caution me about sharing that part of the Word with a lost and dying world who just wants to be loved, I know that it is all that has sustained my mind from complete bedlam and I KNOW that it is what the hungry and lost in this world need. While love is sadly defined in any way a person wants it to be, and is confused with a myriad of other things, truth stands and truth guides and truth protects. It defines love and leaves nothing up to interpretation. The thing that I see Jesus offer in all of the gospels is truth in the spirit of love. It's not an easy example to follow, but after all he is the greatest example in history. He made no excuses for peoples sins, he only forgave the repentant and gave them truth to hold on to. And so, when I have fallen, I go to Him, knowing he will forgive me in love, but equally importantly He will give me the strength to change and be more like Him. In all of my discussions with my non-Christian friends over the years I've come across people who find it offensive. They are not in a place where they can humble themselves enough to repent and be forgiven, because they don't want to believe the sin in their lives is real and true. Many of them do not even agree with me when I mention my sins and even go so far as to argue with me about the existence of my very own sin. Love without the truth only excuses our behavior and beguiles us into believing that everything under the sun is okay. So, what I ask, hurts the lost more? Love without truth or truth without love? And what will sustain the faith of a child of God in the storm? The love or the truth? For me, I know that one can accomplish nothing without the other. It is true love!

You never really have "arrived"

My faith is not that of Peter's, nor even Thomas probably. Sometimes it is firm, sometimes it is weak and sometimes I am wandering in blackness repeating the truth to myself over and over wondering when the peace and faith will find me and restore the light. About a week ago, the blackness had it's grip and Satan who knows my deepest fears began to hammer away at me. He never stopped for a minute. At night as I would try to fall asleep, my heart would accelerate with fear and it held me like vise. I asked some friends to pray for me and I know they did. I know because, although I'm no sage, I do know a faithful prayer warrior. I suppose now, I could have asked for more people to pray me out of my dark place, but it felt like a mini-crisis that surely three faithful prayer warriors could extract me from. I felt better for a couple of days, then plunged again, repeated truth to myself, read the Word and waited for it to pass. I sold some furniture which boosted me but the niggle remained and the hair on the back of my neck was still on end.
Today, I got what I think is my breakthrough. I think. And although the miracles in my life are probably not worth writing to Guidepost over due to their almost normal appearance, they are worth writing to God over. I thank Him. He is always with me, and he does direct the feet of his faithful. I had some people coming to see a table and chairs in my kitchen and when I opened the door a beautiful Indian woman with a belly a tad bigger than mine stood there with her husband. I invited them in and felt happy. He explained to her why the table might not be the greatest for their space and she mentioned that she still really loved it, so he acquiesced. It was cute and very loving. I asked Jody to come in and help him take it apart, while asking them if they were from India. She said yes they were and I told them I'd had the joy of being a doula for an Indian couple and had been amazed at all of the cultural differences. She smiled and said, "oh, were they Hindu?" I said yes, and she agreed that they were very different. I was intrigued and asked her whether they were Hindu and she said "no, we're Christian." Jody came in and glanced at the husband and said "oh, you have thyroid cancer too!" I hadn't even noticed his scar but it was right there, just like Jody's. He'd had two surgeries, the last one had been two years ago, just like Jody. His vocal chord had been compromised like Jody's. His wife mentioned getting nervous about the checkup every six months and so here stood someone so like us, I couldn't quite believe it. She then mentioned that they had waited 9 months after his radioactive iodine treatment to conceive and that her husband wanted to have four or five kids. The strangest thing was, they were standing there in person addressing every fear that Satan planted in me. I was afraid the baby could have been affected by Jody's radioactive iodine treatment. Answered. I was afraid Jody's cancer could come back, answered by a little family who are fearlessly planning their life in spite of the same exact cancer. And finally, they paid me for the table, money being my other gripping fear right now with a baby on the way. This is all one month before Jody's July checkup and ultrasound. So, my wavering faith is again held by the steps of a righteous family living by faith right before my eyes. It's a comfort.