I'm still here!

I'm an infrequent blogger at best but I am here!
I had a string of company as long as the toilet paper that Nick likes to unroll.
First Gin came at the end of May and stayed until June 19th. It was a wonderful adventure and I have so many wonderful memories to treasure from their visit until the next one. Eden was properly versed in all things Fairy, by Abby, who is the expert. She taught Eden how to make a fairy letter and told her about dew drops (which is fairy rain) and that if you put a small twig through a leaf you can make a fairy bed. I think they had a wonderful time and Abby even scaled the tree in the back yard and had a nice long chat with our very lonely neighbor who's husband just passed away. Ethan entertained Kait and gave her many lessons in playing games completely foreign to a 3 year old girl with only a big sister for a role model. I really loved listening to them play together. Kaitlyn would very assertively and conspiratiorally tell Ethan that they did this and not that and he would agree very vehemnently. It was so cute. Ethan left all of his shoes here when they left.... they were under the computer desk where he spent hours playing webkins and teaching Eden and Kait all about it. I have to say, for living in this tiny little house, we did quite well with 5 kids and 3 and then 4 adults all under one roof. For the last week Brad came and put the moto on. We had to go go go!!! I won't even relive the horrific expereince Brad and I suffered at the storage auction, let's just say they got the better of us and lightened our wallets significantly. Terrible and hysterical experience.
Then Mom and Dad came. Kait was sick when they got here, then Nick got sick, then Nick got better and they left the next day. Well, the last day we all had together was great. Mom and Eden and Kait and Nick went to the mall together and Dad and I got to bum around like the old days and have lunch together. The only thing missing was a king sized Mounds candybar. I am so glad we took that time together. When I visited them last spring I was able to spend alot of time with Mom but not Dad, so it was a nice treat. Mom said she had a ton of fun with the kids. They even took a short tour of the countryside and visited the neighboring town of Erie. Well, she actually got lost and I just have to throw that in because I was so gleeful that someone besides me got lost.
The morning they left I purchased a storage unit 10X15 for $25. It was completely full of steel shelving from a Sally Beauty Supply. I won't go into graphic detail but Jody became responsible for seeing to it that all of that shelving was transported to... yes... the garage... he's not happy and I am highly motivated to find a buyer for all of it.
To top it all off, we have a contract on the house in Kasson. We're selling it for a loss and have decided to rent to save up for a downpayment on a new house sometime in the next year or two. Well, this little place we've been living in, is on the wrong side of town, wrong side of the trax and the landlord is the greediest freak ever. So, we found a charming place on the right side of town, right side of the trax and with a landlord that seems to be from heaven. Even better, we're going from a tiny single bathroom to two and a half and one even has a jetted tub! All for just an extra $80 a month. Oh and the new place has raspberry bushes! But we don't have to pay the water bill, so it might just be less than that!
Long and short, life is good. Jody forgives my wild shenanigans and we are living the dream. Now that everyone has prayed for us this last six months I've decided to turn over a new leaf and stop being so self absorbed and start to pray for all of you.

Going Green?

Nick is! Tomorrow is his 1st birthday so get ready for a slew of Nick pics! Apparently if you let him sit in the middle of the dining table and eat out of the serving dishes he'll eat real food just fine!

My heart is heavy

I come from a long line of dramatic and passionate people. So, it should suprise nobody for me to announce that the house in Kasson continues to haunt me in a ridiculous way. The only message I get from God is "Be still and know that I am God." That's all and it just can't quite penetrate. I say it to myself and I feel calm. The very next instant I am trying to figure out what in the world we're going to do. Jody and I have reminded each other that we have everything that is important. My dad has reminded me that in the face of the most dire circumstances, he and my mother fended off bankruptcy with only enough money in their pockets to buy a lemon at the grocery store. For seven long years they struggled their way out of trouble. He reminded me that "Herberts don't do Bankrupcy." He even told me something I'd never known. Even the banker that liked them, recommended that they let Culligan go into bankruptcy. It bolstered my battered heart and I rose to the challenge. I know our situation is not so terrible. I know that people face much harder things than this without giving up and I acknowledge that my parents are some of those people. It makes me proud and it makes me want my children to be proud of me someday. Do I want a despairful story of failing to repay my debts to tell my children someday or do I want to say "Allen's don't do foreclosure." I don't know how long this temporary situation will last, but I know He won't give us a burden we can't bear. I've literally felt the joy drain from my life. Without my amazing children, how would I praise God each day? I ask and the very first person to come to mind is Job. How did he do it? My problems are small, but I just can't conquer them. Why am I so sad? I feel that my husband does an amazing job providing for us, my children are brilliant, the love our family possesses is beyond a dream to me. I can tangibly feel Gods love for me more now than I ever have in my life, yet this sadness is upon me, it feels like I've given up. I keep trying to rise above it, I remind myself of truths continually, I hug, kiss, love and devote myself to my family but still it remains. It's as though I feel that I'm the one who failed. I talked Jody into moving to Minnesota. I didn't stand up for the fact that I knew we shouldn't buy that house. I didn't manage the household to the best of my ability to save money. I selfishly didn't get a part time job when Kait was weaned. The list goes on and on. No matter what, it's still there yelling at me, telling me everything I did wrong that drove us to this point. I guess this is what it feels like to lose hope about something.