I was designing a countertop for one of the happiest customers I've ever known. We were sharing a place of community that rarely occurs. We sprinkled conversation into the design and every turn seemed to tread deep waters and fill our cups.
I said I had overspent for my kitchen, she said she was glad she wasn't married so she could spend as much as she wanted on her bathroom. I told her it was a bit more complex than that. She seemed to swallow my words and consume them as I said "I spend too much and it makes Jody sad. Then I'm sad that Jody's sad and then he's sad because he wants to just let me spend whatever I want. He and I love each other almost too much. It's a change in us since he got cancer. Forever doesn't feel very long. We're both very present minded." Sandra burst out with affirmations bringing Jody back up several times during our meeting, celebrating him. I just loved it, especially since her recent circumstances were so hard.
She told me about escaping a toxic relationship and loving her independence, saying it was the hardest thing in the world to end. I nodded and told her I was glad she found her way out. Then I added that it's also hard to forgive good people who hurt you so you can keep on loving them. She looked deeply into my eyes and said "I bet you've had to do that a few times in your life." I nodded.
She told me she had decided to give any extra money left over at the end of her life to her alma mater with the specific terms that it go to the hard working people in the world who need it but don't qualify for financial aid. The school loved it so much that they are having her speak to students in online classes this summer. I loved it so much I could have cried.
We spent hours together and by the time it was time for her to leave I thought... "I'm going to ask Sandra for a hug even though it's Covid and even though I never hug customers. But as I handed her the receipt she said "can I give you a hug?" I said, it's so strange, I just decided to ask you for a hug and I never hug customers." She got a little teary and asked if she could buy me a gift card for my lunch and I laughed and said no. But if Sandra comes by to see me from time to time, it would be very nice. I love her.
