Monday, August 22, 2016


Once upon a time Bart generously offered me a bag full of glittering jewels best known as bedazzle gems. I nonchalantly accepted and brought them home with no purpose. I was fully aware of the fact that I was committing a cardinal sin according to "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up." I can't really even remember where I put them. They first surfaced on Hazels coloring/tea table. Spilling from the taut little sandwich bag and living a meaningless glueless existence for some time there. Then one day without warning Kait had a sleepover with two darling little crazy 6th graders. They were inspired by the glittering gems, perhaps even hypnotized. It's all speculation. Isn't everything we think we know about kids speculation? The little bag made its way to my living room where it was used in a confetti war with great glee. Unfortunately the aftermath was greeted not by the laid back Elizabeth but by the formidable Jody who announced that Kait must return every last gem into the bag or die. Yes of course I exaggerate. As I came upon the scene of Kait with a giant broom, dustpan and tiny sandwich bag she exploded into tears and threw the broom and dustpan to the ground, sensibly clinging to the little bag with a handful of gems within. I took pity and helped Kait who was delirious with exhaustion and listened to her insensible rantings about her unfaithful friends hiding in her bedroom from the wrath of Jody instead of helping recapture the sparkling sea. I didn't think about throwing the gems away nor did I think of a purpose for them, I simply allowed Kait to toss them back on the art table for no particular purpose. About three days later I found an atrocious concoction in Hazels tea pot in her room. It appeared to be soapy water with yogurt floating on top in a clump. I carried the nasty slog to the sink shrieking at Hazel about the insufferable water messes in the bedroom. I dumped the teapot into the sink with every expectation of finding water and gunk but without the slightest anticipation of finding a bedazzling array of jewels swirling down the drain at an unstoppable speed. 
You may wonder what more there could be for me to say. Well, about a week later I was organizing the office and found something on top of the cabinet that gave me pause.

I texted this picture to Bart saying "look what I found, I really should throw them away shouldn't I?" Well I didn't. And a scant ten minutes later I heard the now very familiar sound of all of the gems spilling from the bag. Then muffled giggles. Then the words "tell her it was an accident." 

Now these four year olds could not resist. I get it really. But that didn't mean I shouldn't make it regrettable. So I forced them to clean it up. And it took a whole hour. And I would say "pouring these jewels everywhere sure was a bad choice wasn't it?" And they would mutter "bad choice, very bad choice." 
I just couldn't throw them away after all that work. I tucked th in the back of a drawer. There may never be a final end to this story... Mebbe... Mebbe not.

The Evolution of Marriage and A Kitten

We happily agreed to never have cats for 14 years, now we have a kitten. 
Admittedly she is a trial basis kitten but still... She's here and it's shocking. 
I think about how Jody and I got married almost flippantly, expecting our ground rules to never change because people hammer this thing into your head that people don't change. That's not actually true. Everyone changes. It seems like over time, the monotony and predictability became stale and unsatisfying to both of us. Jody got more hobbies. I got more friends. We still love each other like crazy but we are neither one the people we married and I say roll with it. Just live.
Saturday morning Jody strolled around the kitchen cradling the kitten like a baby and crooning like a star crossed lover to's shocking. I stop and stare every time he tells me a funny kitten story. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall but this tiny kitten is rapidly crumbling our reservations into a puddle. As Hazel carries her purring limp body around like a sack of potatoes I think to myself... How have we never had a cat? 
As Eden does homework with a kitten sprawled in her lap obviously relaxing every bit of stress from her... I think Eden has needed her for years.
As Kait parades her friends through the house to show them her kitten and begs us to keep her, I sit in wonderment at her first interest in an animal in her entire  11 years. 

And as Nick bounces into the car after a long day of school announcing that he has become a writing machine cranking out a half of a page and using vocabulary words to boot about this nameless cat I feel secure in the blessing we opened our hands to.